odyssey

sometimes, like now, i get headaches so bad i need to get my hands on a chainsaw, split open my skull and find out the problem that lies within. maybe it was the alcohol overload from friday. for some curious reason i didnt get flushed or rashes, but i have had this floaty feeling in my head all day. this is worrying. im supposed to like all things french... tough. my friends in medicine say that there are no nerve endings in the brain, so why do i feel the pain? maybe its from someplace else but the pain seems to be radiating from within the skull. and paracetamol and sleep only do that much. the pain just comes and comes again. sick.

maybe i need to do something to get my blood moving about. i havent really moved much since my friday appointment. which is tough. my knee is about fine now, except i cant flex it more than pi/2 radians. ive been walking a bit, but excessive walking increases inflammation. my knee is already swollen. damns. i try to move my upper body more, but i get lazy quickly.

maybe i lack sunlight. i need more sunlight for vitamin d. but ive been living like a vampire and i avoid the sun like a plague. i dont like feeling sunburnt and whenever i stay in the sun for too long i get bad migraines. under the midday sun, on an average day, too long is about 10mins. which isnt very long. and i dont want to get skin cancer. im on tretinoin. maybe i will get some sunlight tomorrow morning. when the rays seem gentler.

but by the time i wake up it is about 930, then i will laze around, catch up where i left off the night before on theleviathan or something, channel surf and fall on ellen and then i get captivated by it so much that by the time i switch of the aircon and take a bath and walk downstairs to get the papers and take some pills it is already almost noon. and then the sun would be beating down so bad only those laborers would dare to stand outside the shade. sometimes it is so damned hot i can even feel the heat wave wafting about me.

even worse, since i am home along, save the maid, i will be having lunch alone and when i have lunch alone, i have it in front of the tv. and at lunch time they play some Ask the Doctors show. and then there are all sorts of people with all sorts of problems coming on tv to ask these doctors about all sorts of problems, from hpv, to genital warts, to infertility to hairiness to balding and whatever comes in between and obesity and cancer and the like. then i feel like i exhibit all the symptoms of some problem and then i get a little worried about it. i dismiss it like i dismiss the results of stupid facebook quizzes, because these results are so damned general theres a 50% chance one will fit in 80% of the time. im good at statistics.

then after lunch, instead of joining an orgy inside the yellow box to enjoy a smoke like those buggers in camp, i trudge up and switch on my computer and check my email. before i even get to reading some intellectual stuffs by sowden facebook loads and i engage in what has become my latest hobby of facebook stalking. theres always something new for at least the first hour or so, since i have many friends who get public with their lives to satisfy the perverse cravings of people like me. i like how its university orientation now and there are so many photoalbums that are worthy of close examination. some girls are actually really really hot!

soon i finish up with all the links from the feeds. and out of guilt i read some emails, shoot off some emails to my liaison officer to show that im actually deserving of some taxpayers money. then im back on facebook. you know how facebook is full of timesapping games like farmville or hotel city? i dont play a single one. because my computer sucks the graphics always lag. and my friends are way ahead of the curve i dont like to play catch up. i hate sucking even at games, and i hate how facebook ranks friends so everyone of my 510 friends can see that im a noob if they go onto the game. but restraint fails where bejeweled blitz begins. it is a fun game, if quite retarded. it strains my eyes, tires me out, so that by 4pm i find myself on the bed again, staring into the ceiling.

all along the side, i am chatting with friends on msn. i like to chat with friends on msn. because at least i still have friends and they are kind enough to humor me by sustaining the conversation. and sometimes we discuss important global issues like politicization of religion and womens place in society. real important stuffs that would confront probable future policymakers like me. after i am done carrying bags, of course. most of the time we just discuss about chiobus and fantasize about stuffs. it is pleasurable, and it makes my days pass better and faster.

of course i also watch stupid videos, funny videos and the like on youtube and other freesites. i dont watch movies cos the screen is small and i lose focus quickly. and of course my internet sucks so streaming is intermittent. it pisses me off when videos stop but i resist my temptation to slam the router into the cupboards across the room. it wont do any good, because routers dont become better through tough love like those korean schoolgirls, and the cupboards are quite far away across the room and i dont want to cause any collateral damage to the photframes that lie along the way. by the way the router was designed to look like a stingray and it looks like it is smiling at me. and that pisses me off sometimes.

on the subject of koreans. i think they are hot. i think i should also do a summer program in korea. ok, moving on, by the time i am done with meddling with stuff darkness falls. it gets quite dark around here because the streetlamps arent very bright and my neighborhood is probably full of gangland chiefs, white collar criminals and mistresses who go all out to protect their privacy their curtains are never drawn so no light streams onto the damned road. i am not like that. i keep my curtains drawn to ventilate the room because my aircon is spoilt and since everyone is minding his own business no one is going to mind mine. im not lady godiva riding naked through the streets anyway. which is good.

my parents work till late and i make it a point to have dinner with them. since i am home anyway. so after dinner we watch television, again and i watch and watch and watch. show after show after show. then i come online to disturb people again. at about 1130 i switch off the computer and try to sleep. but since ive already slept so much and i have not exhausted myself, physically or mentally, i cannot sleep. so i watch myself some tv until past midnight sometimes, and then i fall asleep.

and then the vicious circle starts again the next morning, except sometimes i wake up with a bad headache. sometimes, like now...