it feels so good when u bookout of pasir laba in civi

this is going to make or break my life. and now, the odds are stacked against me. got rejected by command school (sispec is nonsense), got rejected by warwick, durham and MAS. fk. nehneh.

i really want it with my dear life.

so please

help me God.

the most miserable human being alive

thats me. life takes me by the balls. especially the SAFOS 2009 invite. fuck. and tomorrow i will have to explain why i am in sispec. fuck.

or

looking at the safos2009 invite in fb just makes me foam.
the 3 field camps in the next 7 weeks makes me foam.
thinking of soc just makes me foam
thinking of ippt also makes me foam
fuck

im a real foamer.

im just thankful that there are so many nice people.

pussy knot (or Golf)

the past week has been a rollercoaster for me. i felt like fuck as i stepped through the pasir laba gates to join other freshfucks, dragging along our huge cheebye duffels and carrying our fieldpacks on our backs. it only got better when i found that ANDY was not just in my coy, but in my platoon as well. lol. lotsa rj guys i already knew, in my pltn. lijian, bengoh, prasatt, just to name a few. haha. marched over to coy line, the snr scts were nice, and my bunk was filled with nice people. of course, a fair share of idiots like the lps. stupid, from mjc, do things slow think slow, everything dont know. nehneh. lsm wasnt much better, talked too much cock. confirmed that poly was for ok, nvm.

tuesday was a foamy day. learned about the section organic weapons. made me foam because after 3 mths away from the books my mind wasnt as absorbent. and i learnt that there was something more nonsensical than chemistry. who the fuck gives a fuck about the backblast being 16m? and who can remember how to strip so many rifles, use so many commz eqpmt in such a short time? but whatever, the test went on and we had to do the test like pussies. and then we always kena sleep late. chaocheebye. 2245 lights off 0515 reveille. not enuf sleep, not enuf admin time. damn tulan. nehneh. morning summore got 3k run, fucking foamy.

2 ite girls in my platoon. from pegasus. they are real foamers so probably signing on as spec is graet for them. they is in aarons platoon. anyways i dont think girls should be allowde to sign on. its just dumb. they have so low fitness standards. fuck if i had a pussy all i needed was 13 IPUs for A. wtf lor. run so slow also A. ccb. fk. then summore they dunnd to draw matador and m203. wadkinda nonsense lor. fuckers.

whatever. then kena rt and all that, sort of expected. stupid jump. fuck. baah. sispec is a real foamy place. some cmdrs srsly hav some issues. dunno how to think or talk. just makes u foam. without the rj guys who i talk to over mealtimes, i think i will just go bonkers.

ok im bonked out. tmr 2200 book in. lifes good.

Life in Technicolor II

it has been a depressing week.
i shall really refrain myself from swearing and loathing the things around me.
but well, what a blog is for?
i have the right to shout out!
FUCK LIFE!

things are not alright

in less than 24h i will be in pasir labia.
please. please. please. dont make me foam too hard.
please can i have some funny and cool dudes like aar n rj in my sectn? and please can i have a reasonable platoon? and can i please dont get confined?

so i may pass out. and then pay compliments to shida.

with pride we lead, got time we sleep

sispec for me. i won't deny my disappointment. when i first caught wind of the news a tumor formed in my throat. it was not unexpected, really. i expected it. and i expected myself to be disappointed. throughout the week my eyes took turns to twitch. i didnt really perform well in bmt either. wasnt very enthusiastic about anything, and i kept too low a profile. i guess they expected rj standard, but in my quest to bury my heritage i buried myself as well.

like shayi said, we just have to make the best out of it. after all, there are many rj pussies like ourselves. among the authors of this blog, only yigay made ocs. and i am proud to have such a friend. rj, aar and me r sispec pussies. so are a few other known scholars. lol.

if i had applied to MAS only this year, i think i would have told them that this is the greatest setback i have faced. i have been beaten by lesser students from less schools and people who have nary a quarter my As. i accept that i am physically unfit, though.

on the bright side, sispec is relatively slacker than ocs. many have told me that bookouts are on friday. i dont have to be confined for 1 month. the people are less motivated, so i wont stick out like a sorethumb in a bad way. in the long run, i have fewer icts to screw my life up.

i am disappointed, and i probably have disappointed many around me. but Providence has smiled on me. in complete honesty, i would rather have gotten that A for econs and go to sispec than get a B for it and go to ocs. i would rather have the ill-gottend A for chem than ocs. even if this 2 years are going to be hellish, i have enjoyed the past six. and i hope i can remain positive. sispec wont be so bad, especially with the throngs that i have come to know who would be pussying around pasir laba with me. of course, i would rather be a supp supervisor like stho, but fk, im combat fit. after ocs, sispec is the next best. i am thankful i didnt become an arm inf tpr or a c-soldier or a sea soldier ldr like some of my pltmates.

i hope to do my best. and i hope the schship boards wouldnt just write me off. but even if they do, i cannot fault them. i will just go to my favorite,

nus.