with pride we lead, got time we sleep

sispec for me. i won't deny my disappointment. when i first caught wind of the news a tumor formed in my throat. it was not unexpected, really. i expected it. and i expected myself to be disappointed. throughout the week my eyes took turns to twitch. i didnt really perform well in bmt either. wasnt very enthusiastic about anything, and i kept too low a profile. i guess they expected rj standard, but in my quest to bury my heritage i buried myself as well.

like shayi said, we just have to make the best out of it. after all, there are many rj pussies like ourselves. among the authors of this blog, only yigay made ocs. and i am proud to have such a friend. rj, aar and me r sispec pussies. so are a few other known scholars. lol.

if i had applied to MAS only this year, i think i would have told them that this is the greatest setback i have faced. i have been beaten by lesser students from less schools and people who have nary a quarter my As. i accept that i am physically unfit, though.

on the bright side, sispec is relatively slacker than ocs. many have told me that bookouts are on friday. i dont have to be confined for 1 month. the people are less motivated, so i wont stick out like a sorethumb in a bad way. in the long run, i have fewer icts to screw my life up.

i am disappointed, and i probably have disappointed many around me. but Providence has smiled on me. in complete honesty, i would rather have gotten that A for econs and go to sispec than get a B for it and go to ocs. i would rather have the ill-gottend A for chem than ocs. even if this 2 years are going to be hellish, i have enjoyed the past six. and i hope i can remain positive. sispec wont be so bad, especially with the throngs that i have come to know who would be pussying around pasir laba with me. of course, i would rather be a supp supervisor like stho, but fk, im combat fit. after ocs, sispec is the next best. i am thankful i didnt become an arm inf tpr or a c-soldier or a sea soldier ldr like some of my pltmates.

i hope to do my best. and i hope the schship boards wouldnt just write me off. but even if they do, i cannot fault them. i will just go to my favorite,

nus.