whatever happened to the innocence

the world is a disgusting place.

cip today made me depressed, again. well today was me, aaron and jordan at novena. jordan was happily billeted to the most rowdy group. i got 2 girls, but nope they werent chiobus. and at p5, they were wayy too youngg.

the kids today were very distracted. the place was like a sideshow rebelled, monsters in a huge boxing ring. jordan was punched in the stomach, and me 1m away, i felt the impact. aaron was kicked in the knee, and he is thankful that the guy missed his groin.

i didnt get it so bad, a guy was humping my knee. well it wasnt as painful as the blow jordan stomached, cos the boy was still a puny p1. it was just disgusting that he was humping my knee. i know my knee is be an animate object, but seriously, humping disney is worse than humping a smooth tree branch.

there was this girl i was tutoring, quite hardcore mug. all the while as the rest were playing on the threadmill, under the table and generally anywhere, punching kicking slamming humping gossipppin, she was actually trying to learn math. she kept doing questions and all.

but god is unfair. she had the attitude but little aptitude to match up. her memory is shorter than zhenans willy, which is damn mother short, and her grasp of the multiplication table is embarrasing. her poor inglis an added impediment. her math is basically screwed. her studies are basically fked.

well these kids come from low income families, or broken families. it is undeniable that studies is a good way out of poverty, in singapore at least, but look at them, they seriously dont have the environment or the ability to perform well at the standardized tests. those that are not do not have the discipline they need and those that are hardcore do not have the support they need. the playing field is not level, because people from more privileged backgrounds start out with a better footing. tuition aside, the middle and uppermiddle class peeps dont have to worry about whats for the next meal. they dont have to worry about abusive parents. they dont have to worry about whether they have the monies to buy school uniform.

all i can say is that life is damn tough.

now i dare say we put in a fair effort to do a proper job tutoring the kids. but its difficult. we never experienced what they experienced. when we were in primary school, we didnt find model drawing difficult. we didnt find trial and error, guess and check, whatever u call it, difficult. our backgrounds are totally different. it is improper to claim ourselves for the elite, but i guess we did come from more privileged backgrounds.

their life is really like shit. before this cip, i would have never in my wildest dream dreamt of such despondence. utter rot. meritocracy is a good start, but meritocracy can be locked in anyway. and it becomes aristocracy. and if the aristocracy is not benevolent then these people are screwed. damn bad.

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let's talk about more depressing stuff.

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i cant find my promos essay. it must be with zhenan or stho or i lost it. the last scenario is most likely. 38/50, but honestly, i thought the essay was not all that good.

well it was pretty technical. it had breadth and depth, i suppose. but it was written with no flair, no fervour. i didnt feel very into the topic, i was left with no alternative. i didnt really feel strongly about ethics. but there was no religion question to whoop, so i just had to do it.

but the gp dept appreciated it. something written with no conviction. something i wrote that i didnt believe it, something that didnt have the hallmark of a don. it is so bad i cant remember much about it except i got 38.

but the gp dept appreciated it, and was to requisition it for the ks bull. now i think the ks bull is all bull and no cow. but i have always wanted my essay to be published. hehe. ego ego ego.
well in primary school i wasnt a spectacular writer, since i detested and despiced fiction, but there were some pieces that i thought were worthy of mention, but i kept getting whooped by my teachers cos i had bad rapport. yep in primary school i was a little bastard.

heck, its just too bad i dont have my essay.

haha

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today was aarons good day, and he has the broken photocopier to thank.

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AP bloody starts this saturday! fk.