sentenced not to death, but to life, and what suffering it might bring

until death, the last anticipated and long awaited eternal rest.

with a broken molar (1-7) and a toothache so bad my whole right side is throbbing, i cannot agree more. my dents have always been poor. and i hardly see the dentist. i remember the last time i saw the dentist, i was in ri. got 3 teeth extracted. in one session. my mouth was numb for like 6 hours and my gums bled for 1 day. i still have milk teeth. many. this broken molar apparently being one of them.

saw the dentist when i was still at nee soon camp. she was one dilf. dentist i'd love to fk. quite a harrowing experience, the camp dentist. she got an xray done of my tooth. the dental film was shoved in on a receptacle, and the roof of my mouth got cut. it bled. for the next few days, it hardly healed. might have gotten myself some blood poisoning. supposed to have seen the dentist again thursday past, but i was revocated and moved over to iti, where i meet sammytho.

left my neesoon guardhouse life behind of me. i enjoyed that period immensly. 4 hours of duty a day, some random saigang, and then i was free to apprendre grammaire, entertain myself on ebuddy, fool around on facebook, win monopoly, take risks, sleep and pick up smoking. the first stick, i felt the same as italo svevo's zeno in zeno's conscience. i broke out in cold sweat, my heart beated fastly, and the first puff was not sweet, but then the second puff got better. it cleared my throat, expanded my lungs and sharpened my thoughts. but i havent yet savored another stick.

but as schopenhauer so elegantly mentioned, life is but work, worry, toil and tears. we were constantly terrorized by coyline, over our nights offs and scanning for food. our contemporaries were jealous, and the higher ups were sadistic. i still remember leaving on a bus and then getting called back because of a ruse over h1n1. i will always remember. those bastards. i will also remember them making us scan for food we did not consume. and more. but i guess if life were only the guardhouse, we would lose direction. just as weight slowed down ships, weight helps them stay on course. since before mercantilism, holds of ships had to be filled.

i did not like my first week in the guardhouse, but it got better. we got to know the guards and the guards became more familiar with us. we had fun. i made many friends. the complex sm was very nice. he let me bookout many times, and he let me book out to send my brother off. i think the faggot in coyline would never have allowed. i almost can say, i know for sure he wont.

my first days in iti i know not yet how it is. but i hope its good, i hope i get to stay out, i wish i hope i may. that i will not take anything for granted, and face every tribulation bravely, and possibly, with a smile on my face.

life is fun and exciting.