for those who understand, no explanation is needed. for those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
this is what i have gleaned from almost a year of going to moulmein weekly, encapsulated in a witty tagline.
today kn n mx (not mingxuan) were at the center with their mama, who looked really upset. not without reason- their results were just pussy. mx was all rounded, doing equally well in all his subjects. all band 4. kn, who is supposed to sit for the psle come october flunks 3 of 4 examinable subjects. the only one he passed, was chinese. and his pass was a real pussy pass. 53.
naah, i wont be deriding his grades as pussy or anything like that. i wont be declaring that he is a pussy and his mama must be a pussy as well, since between them brothers they average a fail. because, in about a months time i am going to get banged by the common test. it wont be underlined, but i know there is a very high chance that my result slip reads SSSSS or UUUUU . theres such a thing as instant karma. what goes around comes around. and with the 2 camps during the hols and completely 0 knowledge of nitro II and a pussy grasp of complex numbers and quantum, im real screwed.
im just quite upset by the school. a student like mx cant even look after himself, and u get him to do cip. a respectable 20 hrs a year. thats even more than i did last year. and seriously, a boy like him doesnt need to do cip, he needs to first manage himself. he is the one that needs the community's involvement way more than the community needs his involvement.
and a boy who cant manage himself is made monitor of the class. i know if u put people in positions of responsibility, they might actually shine brighter. but look at the comments. he is quick to help his teachers and peers. i can already imagine him being a busboy. closing windows carrying files sweeping the floor. he relates well to others, but i dont think that actually has anything to do with his being monitor of the class. and anyway, u shouldnt be getting the 39th of a class of close to 40 be monitor. he needs time for himself.
what irks me the most is the teachers comments, that more effort should be put in to go through his work. i was really quite pissed when i read that. since the teacher has already found that problem, why doesnt she bother to solve it? now a teachers job is to teach her pupils, and this includes giving the weaker students more attention. i know in a class of 42, it is quite hard to give them individual time, but surely the teacher needs to do more. if all a teacher is responsible for is the mean of the class, then all we need is a voice recorder. then we get a real hottie with a hot voice to read the textbook, and then we gather all the kids around a radio and play it to them. and then we use a huge tv screen to display images.
we still have life humans, flesh and blood to be teachers for a reason. i suppose there should be some connection between the teachers and the students. the teachers have eyes and brains to directly process the information. they should look into the lives of the students and see what is actually impeding their ascent of knowledge hill. they should do more than make cynical remarks in the report card. and then telling the parents that they should push the kids.
parents should be responsible for their children, i agree, but in the environs of moulmein, most of them are less able. it is for this very reason that the teachers should put in more effort. tax dollars are being paid out to these teachers, and they are responsible to the people to look after these children well, and make them somewhat useful citizens of society. being part of the dredges of society does not constitute being useful.
compounding this problem, teachers command absolute and unquestioning respect from these parents, who always have this image that teachers are man rape. they are subdued by the teachers, some of whom tend to get cockie and wank around like everydays sunday. someone should put the teachers in their rightful place.
this very entry might reek of irony. to a certain extent, i am responsible for kn's mess. i tutor him once a week, most of the time, and i should have done better. i agree. i agree that i should have been more persistent, and i agree that i should have him drilled completely. but i am there ultimately to do cip. my life does not revolve around him. but i can assure everyone that when i am tutoring him, i give my all. but im not free to go prepare extra material or spend more time with him. i have tutorials to complete, lectures to digest, p0hn to surf, and more. i am student first, and volunteer second. i dont have all the afternoons throughout the week to spend on him.
and i am in no position to teach him about the values of hard work and the joys of doing well. i am the perfect procrastinator myself. i cannot describe the saccharine sweetness of success, because i have not experienced it myself. it is not that i dont want to be philosophical or hypocritical to him, but i just cant. im just disabled in this area.
i just cannot. i know i am a pussy. yes, i am. i fail napfa, i fail econs, i fail chem, i fail everything possible. i am better off that kn, but really, only just. i cant speak from high above, from high olympus or anywhere else.
of course this fallacy can be easily picked, that i dont have to be burnt by fire to know that its hot. but now i really dont know much about labor and success. my life has all been slack and luck has pulled me through. although i think ive overspent and im running a huge luck debt. i have nary tasted the fruits of labor, so i cannot describe it.
a more depressing view of this whole affairr, then, is that, the kids might be failing their exams, but they might be happy. it is all about auction theory, where only the bald eagle that rises above has gotten his worth. all the rest lose their bids on second or third or worthless goods. the kids might grow up to be paupers, but happy paupers. the kids might grow up to be prisoners, but happy prisoners. anyway, the world might just end tomorrow.
we all dont know.
now i find it wise to hedge on my future, that i should mug today so i might have a maserati tomorrow. but this is my value system. my discount factor is low, because my effective rate of return is pretty high when the probability of foreclosure, ie, death, is low. this is the value system of our society at large, but who are we to impose this on these little kids? should we all be k0h b00n h3ngs?
i dont know.
and at least, i dont think so.
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