NS MEDICAL CHECKUP

woke up pretty early today, got there pretty much at 8 sharp. yep. cmpb is located between the defence towers. the 2 white n blue shits with 'DSTA' on them. cmpb is just a small old shit betweent them 2 towers.

my father drove right in, and then they says, nope he has to go through the gate so that they can subject me to a check. nope, not the dick check. they just wanted to make sure i wasnt carrying in a bomb or something. and then i got to this station where this old cisco guard hiding behind a glass wall speaks to me in completely unintelligible singlish/english/mandarin. i quickly figured out from the paper stuck on the glass. so i produced my ic and my cameraphone (and then i says, fuck u.) and then i says, here for NS med checkup. so he gives me this orange sticker with some nonsense signature which looked like a loop more than anything and says, ''paste that lanchiau thing on your shirt and then turn left". and then he says fucks, heres your key, deposit your lanchiau phone inside the cubby hole. so i doos this and proceed in.

so i walked to cmpb, and i see that a queue has formed at registration. the group in this queue will be the ones im going to get checked with. 2 from jurong, 1 from catholic, my exclassmate from hci, 2 poly dudes n 1 sissyboy from australia who was there with his mama who was rummaging through his bag. i saw zenzel there too.

anyway, cut the crap. i went to piss cos my bladder hurt. and then they called us into a room and says, take off your shirts so we can see who has manly abs (think daojie) and then we can rapes you. no la. they ask u to put on a modified no.3 top for phototaking. simple. then they says, take ur nric n then ur bag n then all ur stuff n just fuck off to the medical checkup.

so we gets to the medical checkup registration. here i proudly declared that my highest academic qualifications merely a psle. which was pussy, even with my 4 A*s and 1 distinction. she rightly noted that im from the integrated program, since i was wearing my bw shirt.

the first station had this fat shit medic who just says, "i want to take your piss." no lah, he was being a man. "take one of each and go to the toilet to your left. instructions in toilet" i here repeat verbatim. i can remember cos he said the exact same thing to each person who goes in front of him.

so i went to the toilet n i was like, shits, i just pissed. so i drank a lot of water n then i pissed into the little bottle which was even smaller than my dickhead. i then dipped the dipstick in. nothing wrung. so he says, "throw the bottle and stick away and wait for the next station".

this "take-ma-piss" stations quite cool. u c full well all sorts of dumb people who piss all over themselves. 1 champion from poly didnt bring a bottle in, so he just pissed right onto the dipstick. then when he came out he was like, "o, oops, im supposed to piss into the bottle?" but it was all ok, cos his dipstick was ok.

+blackblood

so we waited to draw blood. when i got in, this nice messiah called moses drew my blood. he was quite good, and i was thanking the gods above that he didnt botch my blood drawing. but he took so much blood! he took like 2 sticks of blood, please? and then he says, whoa, how come ur blood so black? i looked at it. hmm, while other ppls blood look like dark cranberry concentrate, mine had a consistency closer to 2 parts sweetsauce and 1 part brands essence of chicken. hmm. something wrong. anyhows, the drawing of blood went quite ok. at least the syringe didnt snap.

and with my file i moved on to the next station. i cant really remember the order, but i know there was a chest xray. there was just 1 nsboy inside with a guide and the guide just tells u to take of ur shirt and bury ur chest into the x ray thingy. i bet tt little boyboy must be so horny as he crosses his fingers that that would be a good day with a chiobu dxo doing her checkup. then he can guide her so she presses her boobs into the plastic and he can see them squish nicely.

then i went for eye checkup, which was nonsense, because they just did that colorblindness test and they checked my glasses. then they says, "eh fuck you you cheebyeshit. you have high myopia. isit cos u surf too much porn?" something along these lines. so after that they gives me a PES B and says fuck off to the hearing station.

hearing station was quite pussy. i almost fucked it up cos sometimes i couldnt hear some sounds at all. but he gave me a PES A cos he probably was too lazy to do anymore paperwork and i missed at most once or twice.

they check ur teeth too, but it was quite perfunctory. all i remember is that i have nice teeth although there is a rot.

n then u go into this room of halfnakedmen. basically u go in, n then u strip to ur shorts n dump all ur stuff in a locker. then they make u wait until u r called. all this while u hope tt a female dxo is there for a checkup, although i think im quite sure the females arent checked together.

if they were checked together, i bet all the horny bdsm addicts will want to work at the next station, even if it takes them a broken leg to get downgraded to cmpb. then they can attach huge clamps to ur ankles and wrists, then wire them up, before putting suction cups all over her boobs. after the suction cups r removed, u look like a moxabustion patient.

then the simple stuff, like height and weight, then blood pressure.

after that you wait and wait and wait, half naked, and then you get to see the first MO throughout your whole sojourn. he just blurts the most curt and most famous phrase that is be the highlight of the trip- Go stand where the green feet stickers are and TAKE OFF YOUR SHORTS AND UNDERWEAR. he just takes a cursory glance at your manhood and then tells you your manhood is alright. the MO looked miserable. i think if they get a gay the MO would look gayer. imagine how gay he would be after seeing a plethora of dicks from dawn till dusk. long dicks short dicks thin dicks large dicks. i think they should let him check the females too, then he would be slightly happier. i bet he would be quick to give them pelvic examinations. maybe with a hard and thick probe.

then he says tt im a bastard PES D gayboy and i need to go back in a month to test blood, cos my blood too black already they dunno whether im don or The Stig, although they can be sure im not the Stig, cos the Stig is still working for Top Gear and obviously my left nipple is not shaped like the nurburgring.

then they have this computerized aptitude test, which was like the complete GEP test + math english and basic sciences. which was quite tough i think i foamed. if i were so good at these tests i wont be sub-intake man.

and then i got home.

btw aaron, i enjoyed karu's curry yesterday. the aaaaaa ssss curry and tandoori aaaaaa ssss were hot and nice and nice.