chemistry is a really depressing subject

today's chemistry paper 3 was a really simple paper. a free frag paper, but i botched it really badly. i foamed for both elucidation questions. and then my ratio was totally out. and the best part was when i used Na instead of H for the cathode reaction. that was the bomb. so basically of 80 marks i have cut myself off of 15, and now all that i hope for is that the rest of singapore didnt find this paper damn simple, or else i will be looking at a B, or worse, a C for chem.

i felt really horrible after the paper today. in recent memory, it ranks 2nd only to the afternoon after my mas psycho test. i remember that day i saw my future flash before me, and then disappear, all i saw was empty space. or is it some blackhole so dense nothing can escape from it.

today somehow it became clearer. first it appeared as a kaleidoscope, like hirst's swirls. and then the image sharpened. and then i see fass. nusfass. with today's chem paper i have moved myself down the bell curve and towards a spot in fass. no, not in the respectable faculties of nus, but in fass. the fass that lenny the potential safos has been spitting on.

maybe i didnt study hard enough. i studied more for chem than any other subject, but just as sodium has little affinity for electrons i have little affinity for chem. my being doesnt get stimulated by reflux. or anything vaguely related to chem.

anyway it must be obama's fault. i spent a good portion of my time yesterday following the results. like most of america, i was captivated by this black man. i was captivated by the american dream and the hopes of the founding fathers. i was convinced of the beauty of a government of the people, by the people, for the people, and i was heartened by the fact that that was a night for change we can believe in.

just that i was in singapore studying for my a levels, and whether i actually prefer mccain has no bearing on anything. i should have pored over george chong instead of immersing myself in his colorful rhetoric and references to washington and the founding fathers.

i really am damn screwed for chem now. now my streak for a levels looks tough. i really need to hard rape the other chem papers, or else seriously im going to foam real hard come april 09.

life is really a long, hard and bitter struggle for a pussy like me.