The Jumping Club

Target: For all persons without straight As for A Levels.

Purpose: Because everyone is equal in death. Whether you get 1A or 4As you will still bleed or concuss and you will still die.

Activities:

For Kinematics Addicts, take off from Block A, Level 7. subject yourself to the power of gravitational force and then try to find out whether you can reach terminal velocity before you slam into the ground and your brain turns to mush.

For Electricity Addicts, insert skewers into live and neutral at the mains and then hold the skewers to your chest. and then die ala ted bundy in the ted bundy movie video. not advised, cos it would probably be too messy.

For Chemistry Addicts, seal a classroom and then try to produce as much CO as possible and inhale deeply. apparently, burning damp charcoal produces lots of CO. inhale deeply so the CO will complex with the iron in the haem group and become irreversibly bonded so you will lack carriers for oxygen and die.

For History Buffs, relive the spanish inquisition as the Club makes an iron maiden out of made in china knives. the knives will be sharp so they cause fatal wounds, but blunt enough so that you dont die right away. feel the spasms of pain waft through a few seconds before dying.

For lovers of Le Republique et Liberte, Egalite et Fraternite, theres always the guillotine. and then for stoners, there is stoning. for orgasm addicts, there's always some wayy...

Theres always some way to satisfy your craving for life after life. it is called the jumping club, but hey, members do more than jump. just like the cricket club does more than play cricket.


Note: Please write your epitaph and last will and testament before joining. no one will be there to take your last words, because, seriously, if you are loser enough to join, your last words probably aren't all too important.