an unexamined life is not worth living

the converse is not true though.

B for math, what more can i say.

i knew i did badly, but B is unacceptable, expected or otherwise.

.ABBBC.

ooo baby. my result slip will be obscene like a pornography poster. with all the vulgar bits but no satisfaction to be gained from possessing it.

yups shouldnt have bothered about going for that scholarship fair on saturday. with this kinda grades, i dont think i can even get into law or economics at nus or a smu. law requires good gp, above all, and what do i get? a B for GP. econs requires good mathematics, and i also get a B.

theres always a first time to everything. the first time i surfed, the first time i wacked off, the first time i drank, the first time i swore.

ct2 is a milestone. its the first time i get anything less than an A for gp and math, and the first time i got myself a C for chem. says a lot about me ya. i am winning the race to the bottom, as my percentiles drop fast. real fast.

a nice transcript is something that everybody lusts for, myself included. this huge lust is especially apparent in rj. when u have spent a disproportionate amount of taxpayers money, i guess u have to do decently good to justify the additional expenditure.

doing well at school is an addiction, but i dont see the government put a stop to it. like they have anti smoking campaigns and campaigns to tackle alcoholism and the like. doing well at school, in the form of getting good results have detrimental effects, tradeoffs. of course, for the brilliant boys like lq, ronald and stho and mark, the tradeoff is minimal. the opp cost is low and they have a comparative advantage.

but for the rest of us, mere mortals, and me the subhuman, doing well in school is tough. a nice transcript. i yearn for it, and never achieve it. sometimes i work hard for it, sometimes i dont. anyhow, i go away disappointed, devastated, conquered.

Under the bludgeoning of Chance, my head is bloody, and BOWED. i am no henley. i cannot be, especially when most of the time i, as the master of my destiny and the captain of my soul, have brought the mess upon myself. thanks to my lack of attention in class, i got a B for math from getting almost all the deductible presentation marks deducted. i even got myself a 1/7 for the complex number question cos my diagram was too puerile to even deserve another mark more.

life is tough when you make it tough and it gets tougher. unlike lennon, i cannot piss for peace or eat for peace and sleep for peace. life is so damn tough, especially when ur mind gets raped over and over again.

i think its time for some relief. its time for a masturbatathon.