Shit Happens, Again.

fuck
finally when i decided
to sign up for the SAT
they say they cannot find me a
fucking place
for jan 26
shit they say look back in 5 working days to
see if i can be billeted somewhere
but chances are i will
be no where
walau eh, i still have like 3 more days to 5th dec, the deadline

fuck lah.
looks like next year is going to be a tough year
and im going to screw up my SAT and my A levels.

a review of my commitments next year

A Level
the most important of my fangled commitments, screw this up and im fucking doomed. might not even end up with a spot at nus. im already well on my way, scoring a string of Bs and screwing up over half of the SPAs we have taken. my hopeless pw adds to the problem.

SAT
i really wanna get out of singapore and go to a proper university overseas. looks quite bleak already, with all the real pros aiming for even the wussier universities. lanchiau. i hope few people are interested in studying economics & engineering, although i doubt it.

My CCA
just messed up the farewell. yupp it was a group effort, the screwing up, and reflects pretty much the dismal state of the cca. knn, from the way it looks, apart from the 1 hour session, looks like i would be preparing for it like at least 2 hours a week.

Intercultural & Game Theory
yupp so my saturdays are all to be spent in smu wanking around doing shit. and challenging the undergrads. im going to get owned damn badly and my h3 will be like some fuck next year. knn lanchiau.

NAPFA
this is also pressing. must fucking get a silver. i dont wanna be a soldier so early. argh!!

Life is depressing. the future looks abysmal. i can already see my failure, in a not too distant future. the result slips will be like blank. cos i get ungraded for everything. my cca will be total bullshit and members just wont come for loser discussions on loser topics that even the most loserish are unconcerned. i will get expelled from smu. my SAT will read 600. maybe even less. i might even forget that im called don. maybe too ashamed.

i foam.

but until then, i have decided to hardcore what remains of my holidays away. Alright! here's the plan. I have between 5th, my last day of work, and 22nd, my trip to china. so minus out like 4 days of weekends and 2 days of going out time, i have 11 days left.

cant do much with the 11 days. but the first 2 days i shall endeavor to pack my room and get my files in order so that mugging is be more conducive. and im left with 9 days.

In this 9 days, i will work hard at:

getting tutorial 10 & 11 in order, so that i may start on the righter foot next year. but chances are the tutorials would be in a mess cos ive lost everything above arithmetic to some evil haggard bitchy bastard and dunno what.

getting organic chem in order, so i can understand the lectures next year. yep, this is damn crucial, so that i can catch the slow pace next year before steaming ahead and on to the a levels.

study superposition. which i have no idea what the fuck it is about. guess im just going to get screwed damn badly for physics. again.

somehow pray that i get an A for econs and GP. the latter sounds less hard, but the former is a grande taske.

then next year, when everyone is happying with their OGs, crushing girls, painting flowers, preparing loser gifts, im going to hardcore mug! everyday! maybe for a start i mug till the library closes, then when orientation is over, maybe mug wif zhenan in school until my father picks me, perfect, cos he stays in RIB next year.

Mug damn hard.

fuck, then wheres the time to train for napfa?
alright, dont train, go in early by like 4 weeks. that 4 weeks might be hell, but that 4 weeks of shame and despair would be over in 4 weeks. but A level results will always stick with me, and impact whether i even get to go to nus or have to end up in some halfshit aussie university. then juz hardcore after a levels train so that im a fitter weakling and get silver during ns and juz own after that.

one step at a time!

thats the grand plan! yeah!

fuck im trying to be stoic and optimistic

but the realist in me, tells me to fuck off and stop this deceit. im going to break down soon. i want to jump.