crows

i don't blog much nowadays, because rarely am i in a pensive or moody state. i blog most when i need to vent my frustration. like now. it is a tuesday evening, the sky is quite clear, the moon is shining quite brightly.

the fire alarm is spoilt, its beeping incessantly and i no longer get gratified by getting off my ass to turn it off. the random message comes along, that i dont comprehend and i dont care much for. feel like turning the set off, but my sense of duty prevents me.

yes. i am the understudy, and the first understudy to stay in since the time of the previous ism.

wtf.

yes, this is how suay i am. sort of had some augur of this- a family of crows flew overhead and cawed, momentarily ending my enjoyment of the serenity and the morning breeze. i am not one superstitious guy, but i see signs in everything. i might not outwardly profess any religion or belief, but i believe in a supreme being and a force greater than the human spirit that can and have effected many positives and negatives.

anyway, i try to console myself, that it is alright for me to stayover. as a groundbreaker and all. yes, it is true, as the stand in said, that i would not learn anything about duty if i stayed just for hoto. but he did not realize that i wont know and i will not care much or even at all. there are screw ups and there are screw ups, and most of the time those i can handle i already know how to, and those i cannot handle i probably would be referring to the comd or doo. those personal problems the guards face are not something i would care about. im a cq, not a counsellor. i will do my best and i will try to be as nice as possible, but i think little more.

i thought the rsm was being ridiculous and i did breach to him that i had no intention to stay over and of coursei pointed to him that from precedent understudies do not stayover, but i figured after his first rebuttal that God is Great that any resistance is going to be futile. the one thing that impresses me most about him and many regular wos is their doggedness that they are right and that some simplistic statement that they take as a universal primary premise like God is Great is going to solve all problems. because it wont solve anything. it just destroys all argument with its monolithic stupidity. but it doesnt matter, because they have never been quite concerned with logic. heck, the fact that they even humor you by asking you some stupid questions is beyond expectation. apart from the fact that they dont care about your answer, they dont actually have to care, because they are regulars and they have rank. you are just a puny cq for them to do. you earn about 500 a month to do stuff, but they earn "5000 to do nothing" i quote verbatim. he views himself as the troubleshooter, one who standsby until something goes awry and then he steps in. he views himself as the big tool, the one you turn to as the last resort. so most of the day to day things do not require him, especially in this camp, when day to day work involves catching some storemen to oil some cans and other assorted nonsense to carry balls thats not going to impact productivity, serviceability or anything that the saf hopes to stand for.

i sat in the office with him as he briefed me complete nonsense, things anyone who even considers himself human would have already picked up, interspersed by proclamations of God is Great! and the like. i smiled to myself halfway through, as in the angst i realized how taxpayers keep them employed and paid them so much. the consumer surplus, if these wo were commodities would be so massive, because the next best alternative job for them is going to be worth close to zero. ok, lets not be so mean, maybe they would be worth the taxi driver or the ops manager you see about town. baah. not that they are not contributive members of society, but the value they add is going to be so limited they cannot draw 5k and get to scold people and randomly give absurd advice to people who try to lap all of it up. bullshit.

hah.