Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Stand Your Ground

For the record, my dear prc friend.
i need all the fucking inheritance i can get. without the inheritance im seriously nothing.
im good for nothing.
shit always happens.
and i need to drive my porsche 998 to my first day of work, even if im just a wussy teacher lol.

yup, its just coincidence and bad karma harking back to my 4p days.
nope i havent learnt my lesson.

i remember in ri, presentations really sook to inform. they served a real purpose. they were really there to bring out the best of a project. they were solid, good stuff.

now in rj. its all about humor. all about background. superficial. bah. superificial.

we are regressing.

maybe cos of girls?

IES-India

heehee, i told ya,
u are really attached to india ur whole life!
heck the money from ur parents, go for her! :)

anyway, the cheese cake was a ok attempt,
although it did not serve its ultimate purpose,
it still did something before its final destination.
and don says its quite nice!
great! its like how hard to make don say something is nice! (although he only refer to the digestive part, the base)

getting sick in the afternoon,
think walk too fast in the sun and get heated.
the porridge at han's (which reminds me of some one) suck!
then the cip followed was impressive!
7 rjc students on 3 primary kids!
plz... its like wtf! 2 on 1? naah...
lenny, the hardcore bas beat don's knee! wth, cannot even stand!
should learn from him! heehee :P

ok, time to go and do reflections and still hav to rest well today, cause hav to do pw tmr!!

Monday, October 29, 2007

fuck my life

my interview got screwed
im going to die
why everyone say its a casual chat
then mine they ask so many lanchiau questions
walau

is this your first attachment?
yea.
what were u doing in previous holidays?
...

....interesting, meaninful and enriching...
define interesting.

shit man i think i screwed my interview up
time to call nea for a back up attachment =)

fucking hell life sucks
while someone is baking cheesecake

Saturday, October 27, 2007

naah..pls..stupid orchard road!

i hate orchard road.
it will be the last place i go in my life

was I awake at 2am or did I make my bed?

freudian psychoanalysis and zhuangzi's butterfly dream have always intrigued me a lot.

well i forgot to record my dream.

I woke up at 2am and found myself sleeping on my bolster normal to my usual position. now this is possible because my bed is roughly a square. sleeping in this position is weird, because I remembered that I had actually made my bed.

I remembered clearly that I had moved my doodlings onto my table and as I can remember the papers were not on my bed at 2am if I had remembered accurately. And if the papers were not on the bed there would be no reason for me to be on the bed in that awkward position.

I went to the toilet and I checked the time. It was 2:10 when i went back to sleep. This time I orientated myself in the usual sleeping position and I found myself in this position when I woke up this morning.

Question is, was making my bed a figment of imagination, or my waking to pee a figment of imagination? Now I can never be sure of this.

jialat

I. Results

Don has done well although it is below his normal standard.

on one hand its flattery. on the other, it smacks of blatant suanning. f. even though my lit sucks i can read between the lines. f. on my promos report. fill in the blank man! rargh!

II. PW

I suck. I know that. The skit I crafted died. largely due to lack of practice and cos I was generally screwed up cos I was sick. but being sick does not mean I have the right to fuck it up. but the lack of aptitude was clearly reflected.

PW is a misadventure. I'm getting raped by it. First I settle the wr. and it goes wrong. OP, the final stretch is going wrong too. I just hope we can work damn hard and have the heavens be merciful and let us pass this turbulent times as a pw grp before all of us can fuck off and die.

III. Singapore

NMP thio is just troubling. pluralism but not plurality. religious morality affects public policy. I don't know, but these arguments reek of elitism and of an asshole speaking froma higher moral ground.

I'm glad Janadas Devan of the Straits Times, incidentally Devan Nair's son so brilliantly rebutted her puerile points. Read Saturday section page 59. Insight. He's a real man

Now.

Back to pw.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Marche Cowwwwww

Cowwwww..
today we went to some history museum near vivocity..
watched a blankly dark movie which is supposed to represent the insecurity of ppl during the war time,
we took photo, class photo.
first time, all 26 of us. even the scientist!

marche hav dinner.
order all kinds of bullshit.
don's dish was quite nice, so i keep koping!
heehee, but bought a cake for him!
noted here, he chose the cake himself!
that is the "nicest" cake we hav ever tried in our entire life!
then i persuaded yj and wq to eat it!
they were impressed!haha!

good night! hope don s getting well.
i think i got the sore throat, should not koping his water alr!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

o level certs

today,i collected my olevel certs,
which is supposed to be collected in Feb!
haha..see the long chain of A1s with the start of a C5!
F#$%!
really disappointed in myself!
then went to parkway to eat pasta again!
the source is super thick..
got to do pw later..
lifeisdamntough

Monday, October 22, 2007

Ethiopia Denied: On Don's Major Screw Up

"Life is Tough" - Apocryphal, or was it Lenny or yiheng

The sky was overcast as I came to school. It poured yesterday night, a bad omen. I knew the heavens were crying for me, but i decided to be a man and brave the bullshit and take whatever was wanking my way.

even before i stepped into A72, i already knew within me that this day would be a shit day, a day where i would get owned, owned like never before.

the fenian came and soon the papers were distributed. of course we should analyze the papers in chronological order so that my mood can be tracked properly.

Econs. got back case study first, 16/30. i just slumped back into my seat and nearly died. 16/30, my dears, is not even a flying B. and i need a B to secure my econs h3. my happinessometer took a beating. then i got back part b, which was 32/50 i think. added together, a just nice B. a nice, motherfking B. i was relieved, but certainly not happy. relieved because i can keep my econs h3, not happy because seriously i can do much better, esp when so many prcs got within my range. which is really disappointing.

Physics was totally fucked. 82/120, just missed A by a bit. add to my CT and i get 69.0 exact. which is serious, serious shit. fuck i lost an A, just like that. life sucks. this happened last year for geog n ss, 79? fuck man. and i was quite confident that i would do ok for this paper.

turns out i was wrong. every single definition question was wrong. every motherfucking single one of them. add to that a misunderstanding of the two planets, the hopping idiot and the alcoholic question, i just got raped, real bad. i was limp as i left.

at this point my ego was shattered. fuck. its the signal of something new. im going to get raped over and over again. no more As. im dying. i felt like shit as i looked at the paper. and people around me were getting 90++. subsequently i hears liqian fullmarksed it true to his 4pstyle and i nearly died.

i furiously calculated over and got zhenan to help me look for addition errors but there were none to be found. by this time i contemplated flinging my deserving self off of the 7th floor onto the cold hard compressed bricks that made up the driveway below. i really don't deserve to live. but im too wuss to jump.

as the jump sequence kept playing in my mind like a windows movie maker storeyboard. they gave out the math paper. by now even an 83 for math didnt bother me. i wasnt even bothered that i only actually got 2 questions wrong and the rest of the deductions came from bad workings. naah fuck i didnt care. my mind was filled with the debacle that was physics.

i sat, i stared, i stared harder. by now the pheeling from the phailure that was physics was phading away. at least i secured an A, a cheap, loserish, lousy, disappointing, imbecilic, puerile A, but an A, at the very least. BBA. thats alright. chill man. but the real don in me was like, fuck u bastard why r u so stupid im going to abandon u even if that means i die. all this while i thumb at my physics paper.

general paper. i prepared for the worst. my essay sucked and i knew that. the points were feeble. my aq, hopeless. the fillers, all crap. but when he returned the first paper, i was honestly, pleasantly surprised. 38/50. naah please, it is not that good, but i was surprised. bewildered. fuck i left the classroom feeling like a total loser man, i still remembered. something is wrong.

paper ii. 41.5/50. fuck hows that. seriously, i was quite happy with gp. its the only recourse i had for the whole of today. 79.5. this is the only thing worth celebrating for. and i hope to get on the deans list, and im praying that i can see a 100%ile this time. praying damn hard. of course the less than devout me, most probably wont see my wish come true.

chem. by now i have ABBA. quite gay, i know. but i thought i was going to have them rearranged and get A BABE. so E for chem. i was resigned to fate. mcq was a nice 13/25. i thought i was on track. 52%, dickies!

by this point i had grown numb to the physics phuckup. theres more to life than physics, man. theres also more to life than chem. at most study at nus, or go to some mickey mouse university in florida!

but quite luckily, overall for chem i scraped a B, 61.5. i felt nothing, neither happy nor sad. indifference set in.

so i assembled BABAB, my best effort. i felt like a pussy. the kind that produces furballs and get kicked around. AAAAB to BABAB. is a huge drop. i deteriorated. i got pwned by prcs. Many prcs. now this is not right. life is tough.

im sad, that i want to die.

ABABA was just 1 motherfucking mark away. and i couldnt get it. i couldnt even get to ethiopia. but im going to listen to bob marley.

lifeistough!

OMG!
life is so tough!
what kind of shity results is this?
ABABE to ACADA.
wtf!
econs got D!
no more H3 already! actually quite sad, especailly that i do not even have a choice!
im forced to screw off!
maybe its a sign for me to reconsider my career path or uni major!
anyway... cannot take econs with u liao,don..damn sad!
chem h3! what the hell, dun think can really do well also!
whatever! come on man.
life is tough!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Are You Ready

Hey folks,

Just thought I should drop an email to prepare you all for the release of your results tomorrow.

By now, you should be aware that for the first 3 hours tomorrow morning, you will be getting all your results from your CT. Then, from 11am onwards, normal lessons will resume (following your old timetable), though some venues could change. I am sure your subject tutors would like to be with you during the release of your results (I know I definitely want to), but unfortunately, this year they are going to do it this way.

Your CTs will tell you that you should not ask for any more marks, because all possible moderation would have been done. Personally, I also think it would be good character-building if you can just take the marks in your stride rather than to ask for more. If you find that you have been given extra marks, also have the integrity to let your CT know. You may see a drop in your grades as a result, but at least your conscience is clear and your integrity is intact. I don't know about you, but I know I would respect such people a great deal.

For those who have not done so well for this Promos, it would be a good time, after you've griefed, to take stock of what you've done this year, and check on your priorities. Have you been spending your time too much somewhere else rather than on academia? How can you improve? Are you studying correctly? These are questions that you might want to ask yourself, perhaps in consultation with your tutors. In any case, remember to be resilient in the face of such stumbling blocks. Yes, you can cry and sulk for some time, but remember to bounce back with greater grit and desire to excel. That is, after all, what the Rafflesian Spirit is all about. In times of despair, there are also friends and teachers who can lend you a listening ear and a helping hand. Do not hesitate to find a shoulder to lean on.

For those who have done well, or have met your expectations, remember to be sensitive to the feelings of others. Don't start prancing around and screaming in delight, and forget that someone else in your midst might be upset. It's not about suppressing your feelings, but about controlling and showing the right emotion at the right time in the right place. Also, don't be complacent. We are only halfway through. There is as much hope of others improving as there is risk of you stumbling next year. Aim to see where you can further improve, and how you can help others in your class who might be weaker. Last but not least, be there for your friends who might not be feeling too exuberant.

An important thing is to remember to attend all your scheduled lessons tomorrow, regardless of whether or not you feel like it. I suspect there will be a big hooha if you were present during the release of the results, but disappear subsequently for the rest of the day.

Last but not least, if anyone is feeling very upset and need someone to talk to (other than your friends), you have my number, you have my email, and I should be in school for some time (though not necessarily in the staffroom; maybe on the bball courts if the weather is good). I'm not a pro at counselling, but I promise to listen and offer advice where I can. No need to book for consultation =)

My, this email sounds so sad. Maybe I am really emo, as 6M always reminds me. Or maybe it's because now I am worried about the results of 108 students compared to just my own results a number of years back, so my worries are multiplied 108 times. But to put things into perspective, things aren't all that bleak. Most of you have improved since the Common Tests, and some of you have improved tremendously.

To summarise:
1) be positive
2) be resilient
3) be sensitive to others
4) don't give up
5) it's not over yet

I'll see you all in class tomorrow (except 6G, because I'll only see you on Thursday). Sorry if I spoilt your Sunday evening with this email. If it's been spoilt, just sleep early. Haha... =)

All the best for the release of your results tomorrow! =)

PJL =)

Saturday, October 20, 2007

sad life

my actions are slow!
how?
can i succeed by the end of this year?
if not, i hav to be alone the whole j2 year!
freak!
must speed up!

anyway,today sux!
got council meeting!
commzd,department reflection!
actually quite fun.
then went for lunch with yanneng and wee jin....hav to eat with him! OMG
then cut hair,
watch movie,alone again
haha,but the movie is damn horny lah..
say a boy like to draw penis since 8,then show all the pictures he drew!
wow,damn creative...

then come back hostel..not home! dun cheat yourself!
doing survey analysis!
sad case!

damn panic about the results coming out on monday!
i think i will juz simply die AGAIN!
my econs gg liao,no more chance to take H3!
life sux!

especially with PW!

Carpe Diem

Time is running out

it would be less than 48 hours to my time of reckoning
when i will either be elated
or depressed that i want to kill myself

the second case seems more likely

went to breeks with aar n zn yest
was good
walked and talked cock

all before monday

downloaded in rainbows
which sucked.

lets be merry
for this happy times wont last for long.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

You come between who You are and who You want to be

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
Welcome, you gotta believe
That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome, to wherever you are
When everybody's in, and you're left out
And you feel your drowning, in a shadow of a doubt
Everyones a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say
When it seems you're lost, alone and feeling down
Remember everybody's different
Just take a look around

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

welcome to wherever i is

this is where don is talking about his sad shit little fucking screwed up life. and don is a person i know personally, and very well.

well today, don had a very unpleasant time. firstly, his maids mom had a stroke and is going back home to the land named after a spaniard who had syphilis banging too many chiobus 3 centuries ago.
i pity her, her moms even younger than my mum. her father has disappeared and she has 2 younger siblings. fibbing, possible, but don is not interested to judge. all don knows is that she never asked for money or additional help. nice.

back to don. now don is an extremely sad shit leading a desperate life. now until when a replacement comes along which would be in a while, because dons parents prefer to shop around and not rush in, don has to do all the shit around the house. learning experience. so don has to get water to his room and clean up the messes after himself. life has cast a dark shadow on him and he is pissed with life.

then in school, don was feeling like a sore used dick during math because the expansions look like mandarin to him 操你妈B. or something like that floating across the screen. binomial expansion wasnt taught in ri, so the rafflesian pedigree didnt know how to do it. other than of course he is stupid, from the diffusion on the concentration gradient in his class, but here we digress.

life sucked more when rehearsing for pw. don wrote scripts for the esteemed members of 230. its alright that some did prepare, some didnt. now don is not a prolific writer and this was not his best piece. actually maybe, since this is the first time he has bothered about writing a script for presentation at all. but here we digress. despite these, don put his heart and soul into writing the script. every word crafted so lovingly, every sentence done with dick in the mix. he envisaged a nouveau vista, something that was truly good and the hope for a better age.

even though this was rjc, auspicium was not to be melioris. wait it didnt even materialise. the beauty played out in his small pathetic cranium outside his hypothalamus of course was all but to crystallize. nope, not a Ksp wasnt exceeded.

as they read with their accents, i felt banged. bang bang bang. nope, not from a .38 magnum, but from some gigantic offending testtube washer. i was raped and i felt like i was dying.

i foamed. maybe 377A shouldnt be repealed and sex offenders should be hanged, anyway lets not digress from the subject hereinbefore and hereinafter refered to as don.

dons dream was in shambles. his great vision, gone. everything that once appeared vaporised immediately. sublimed, whatever. the grand vision, the great plan or in this case, the great leap forward all got FUCKED, real bad.

don resigned to fate and an A for PW, A for approaching expectations that is. and even these expectations are crap, shit, fit for those without dicks.

oh please, after PW there was reprieve. but don didnt understand no shit about superposition and youngs double slit. don loves slits, but not young's. so don tried to read knowledge again, but to no avail as he laughed himself silly listening to the most honorable yiheng & co. (est. time immemorial) discussing jve wang.

if kids say the darnest things, this most honorable company say the nastiest things ever heard of of a girl seated barely 3 rows away. for "she is the modern medusa, if she sits at the back id sit in the front and vice versa, if she sits in the center i pon the tutorial." now thats not very nice, is it. but to think about it, even lenny leng, the paradigm of niceness and what is good, the paragon of a beautiful mind, the exemplar for all lesser beings like rafflesians, said he lost his appetite the first time he saw her.

now she is THAT captivating.

and she is in nigels pw group.

econs was another bitter and hard struggle as don struggled to grasp the different symbols used. and the little inconsistencies in the notes which don only managed to articulate after meditating hard with his stick on the bus. anyway don, the wuss and bastard decided to have some fun, declaring people NOOB when they furiously punched their calculators and got the wrong answer.

quite a bit for a noob day for don.

don then moved on and wanked hard in the canteen as the coolest guys in class congregated at a table to discuss jve wang. the girl in question has gotten them by their balls as they discussed the cruelty of the heavens or genes or whatever u believe in. and here these honorable persons spent a better part of an hour before don ventured home. utter noobness.

and don got noobed once again as he took 156. 157 arrived just after. don cursed the bus and hoped that it would break down, which sadly didnt materialize. don was distraught and flipped off at that bus. but no diff, 156 crawled along and 157 sped past.

and don met nigel at coro.

such is the sad, sad, sad life
of a boy
named don.

and here, he lifts
his middle finger and says
fuck you very much.

Monday, October 15, 2007

ceteris won't remain paribus for long

jack
called
God

ceteris won't remain paribus forever.

#repeal it#

for socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living
i am here to blog.

life is getting better. im at one with getting fucked by pw.
no A, nevermind. anyway i cant get a scholarship
and need A then can get into econs or banking n finance
at nus meh?

at most go overseas only mahs. not like cannot afford liddat.

LOL

talking to stho late into the night is good fun.
reading his chatlogs with someone is even more fun.
i think his life rocks. it would rock more if he wasnt such a theocratic fag.

heehee.

it is raining. life sucks when its raining.

i remember happier times
when hips didn't lie
and lying was the most fun a girl could have
without taking her clothes off.

i remember younger days
when pcc-ing day and night
was all that i had and ever wanted to do

we could never see tomorrow.

but tomorrow would suck
pw prac for the free blocks what fuck is this man. tamade cheebye la.

hopefully we dont die for pw.
heh.

and life sucks
without the special one.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Nobel Prize for Literature

Doris Lessing looks quite screwed up. don't know much about her writing though. never read her books before.

surfed wikipedia again. wow she's one of only five women who have ever received the prize for lit. speaks a lot about their lack of ability huh. anyways i saw nadine gordimer on the list. this name rang a bell. i know ive read her works before, but i just cannot remember which one.

maybe literature did serve a purpose. without literature i wouldnt have read some of my favorite pieces, like flowers for algernon and the lottery. and of course some interesting ones like animal farm and to kill a mockingbird.

but i know life was shit, especially when idiots teach literature in ri. and these idiots were in permanent pms with moods that follow a sinusoidal curve and where i often get to interact at the trough. fuck man. B for literature? that's me.

like i care whether they think im cold or what. i know i had a bad attitude towards lit. i dunno, in ri i thought lit was for the condemned. which still holds true i suppose. kbh, stef tan, malani they all seriously suck. i cant even believe kbh was an old boy and a geper, and malani is some caring shit teacher. shes some major terrorist with major amnesia and major fingerpointing skills.

i always hated teachers, all along.

anyway.

wikipedia-ing has brought me much new knowledge. sufism is really interesting.

facebook-ing is wasting my time. and already i see people trying to spam and get the most friends. this guy added me even though i dont think we have ever talked before. sure we were from ri gep, but do i actually know u?

samuel is crazy about farming and he goes around attacking cheap targets. of late he attacked zhenan as well, the facebook newbie. siao.

im really bored. and nope im not doing pw over le weekend.

you can have your principles and i can have my porsche

im really bored.

at least ive done almost all that i need to weather the next dry run, and read 2/3 of knowledgen the wealth of nations.

going out later. life sucks dick.

Friday, October 12, 2007

happy hari raya

finished my skit. cheesy, sucks, whatever.

Al Gore and the intergovernmental panel for climate change have been awarded the nobel peace prize.

wawaweewa.

i hate environmentalists. who cares about the apocalypse anyway. all of us dying together seems more appealing to me than me myself making a solitary trip to the gates of hell.

intelligent design

1: check email, see script.
2: have to edit scripts. then have to draft skit.
3: heck, go facebook.
4: deflower sengteck's page, fight lenny
5: Life is Tough, yo
6: Bitch to Stho: Life Sucks man. Shit!
7: somehow remember i have to do pw. jw's part is done
8: watch tv.
9: wikipedia. turkey recalls ambassador to USA
10: still reading wikipedia. abyssinia now
11: now facism
12: intelligent design (feature article)
13: oo pw. again. lc's part.
14: rain. the bed looks inviting.
15: switch on comp. facebook again.
16: still left with skit and my script.

life sucks.

we be bubbling everyday

fuck pw op is like raping me la.
seriously, writing a script a quality one at that is damn freaking hard.

its some unearthly hour now, yet im still up
and not doing pw.
somehow ive hit the wall.
and i dont feel tired.
my body is going into overdrive.
walau eh,
and im not being productive.

fuck tmr still got power cut between 9 and 12 whats this man.
shit head.
ok back to fantasizing about pw.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

today, we go bowling (the gay pink ball)

today, we go bowling.
have fun throwing (rather droping).
even tried rolling.
deh~

today, we go bowling.
try to score by jumping.
heard the nails scratching.
plzzzzzzzzzz.

today, we go bowling.
gals totally owning.
life is depressing.
arh doooooooootz.

today, we go bowling.
had milk tea drinking.
practised the straw blowing.
shhhhhhhhhhhh.

today, we go bowling.
cann't help whining.
still got to pwmping.
oooooopppppppppzzzzzzz.


life sux! gd luck for op!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

songs i like

im so bored, not doing pw cos i feel spent.

favorite bands/singers. excludes the all time tops (ABBA, Bee Gees, the Beatles, Elvis Presley, John Denver, Michael Jackson, Queen)

Rufus Wainright
Instant Pleasure
Why does it always rain on me
Going to a Town
Hallelujah

Placebo
Pure Morning
Nancy Boy
Protege Moi

Muse
Feeling Good
Sing for Absolution
Unintended
Supermassive Blackhole
Hysteria

Radiohead
Fake Plastic Trees
High and Dry
The Tourist
Creep
Karma Police
Lucky
You and Whose Army
Airbag
Dollars and Cents
Idioteque
Let Down
You
Climbing Up the Walls
Talk Show Host

Bon Jovi
It's My Life
Have a Nice Day

Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Wet Sand
Hump de Bump
Dani California
Storm in a Teacup

The Eagles
Desperado
Hotel California
Tequila Sunrise
Doolin Dalton
Witchy Woman
Heartache Tonight
New Kid in Town
Life in the Fast Lane
Lyin' Eyes

Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's
Ruby by Kaiser Chiefs
Lips of an Angel by Hinder
Dust in the Wind by Scorpions
Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix
Geek in the Pink by Jason Mraz
Night Drive by Jimmy Eat World
When You Were Young by the Killers
Plaisirs Solitaire by Madame Kay
Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

yeah lol.

whiner winer winner

before i actually get down to any proper work, must whine.

somehow whining is one winning way.
doesnt solve any problem, but whining makes me feel better.
now, feeling good IS important.

pw op dry run yesterday was just
GGXX
now im trying not to be mean
but seriously i think my group might really be a liability and bring me a b. or worse.

let's analyze.

some of them dont speak audibly enough. its rather unfortunate that english is not their first language. which is quite a problem, cos they lack any confidence in what theyre talking about. their pronunciation is fairly screwy, so its a bit difficult to understand what they talk about. and they speak really softly, which is quite fked up.

coupled with the technical and higher level thinking required to grasp the immense contribution of grzywinski, the problem is compounded and no one actually understands what exactly is happening.

Q&A is a killershit. they just kena own non stop as hairy assholes try to gun the group down. the questions were ridiculously stupid, but they were pretty successful in exposing the flaws and bringing the group down.

and we're the last group of the day.

in this sense we are really quite dead.

the group is as strong as its weakest member, just as a chain is as strong as its weakest link. now now, how?

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

noob say noob la dont look for excuses

My son, a top student, returned home shattered after difficult PSLE maths paper Letter from GUO WEIFU THIS year’s PSLE mathematics paper has caused many students undeserved anguish. Their reactions, including that of the good and gifted ones, were one of despair and discouragement upon encountering problem sums that were set beyond their capabilities. Some even broke down right after the examination. My son is in a top class. Mentally strong and confident in mathematics, he returned shattered boy after the exam. I immediately checked with friends and teachers from other classes and schools, and the same story was heard. Although schools have been equipping pupils with the skills of applying mathematical concepts, many could not complete half or more of the problem sums. Is there a huge gap between expectations and ability? In the mind of a child, he has either failed or done badly. With his confidence ripped by the mathematics paper, how can a child recover in less than 24 hours to face the next paper? Tearing children apart mentally at a developmental stage snuffs out the joy of learning. The Singapore Examinations and Assessment Board (SEAB) had previously said “the exams were a means to differentiate students of diverse abilities by setting questions of varying difficulty levels”. It stated that an examination paper should be comparable in difficulty from one year to the next and “teachers know how to prepare their students for the examinations”. SEAB also stated that different teams of experienced setters, moderators and examiners conduct several rounds of checking of each question and for the paper as a whole. The fact different teams are involved is no consolation as it may be a systemic failure from pegging the paper at too high a standard. For some parents and students, education is seen as a source of mental torture. All I ask is this: Please give the children of Singapore the confidence to face their future with a lion’s heart.


anyway my lfies a mess
pw is a joke.

Monday, October 8, 2007

For the non-Chinese, 'Siam' is '闪'

riiight.
fuck my life is sucking like shit again.

youth leaders conference was a total waste of time. well the speaker they got is very good, but he gets a little dry after the novelty wears off. his weird sense of humor also got a bit irritating. with his talk at 2+ hours, it was seriously overkill. luckily i was sitting with juanhe, shayi and zhenan, and life seemed slightly better as we were retarded from time to time heheh. something tt wont happen if i sat with my damn serious vc.

i more or less burnt my day listening to crap. look, its not like this is going to help me make my cca better. the group discussion was total fuckedup crap, as councilors start proclaiming that veera is a total bitch, thimun n rj is totally fked up and all that. like hello we were supposed to be talking about goals? but id rather not entertain them with all this kinda shit.

then it was sodof group sharing, with kelvin yin cracking everyone up with his lameness. he is a serious joker man, can learn from aw and be some motivational speaker. haha its just his weird intonation and smile that makes him so funny.

klow also shared his life story like how he studied until pri 8. quite honest, but seriously draggy. so i ponned to join my pw group. hardly did any work however.

life seriously sucks. then juanhe forgets about calling me to get my stuff and i had to sprint all the way back before they lockup the damned pac. shit man.

anyways the saddest shit of all is that i dont have a single motherfucking attachment. my econs attachement got rejected! fuck! stupid asshole. i know it must be her. by marks alone surely im a rather deserving candidate. i dont see how by marks alone i should be kicked if they chose 30 people.

fuck she must have thrown away my application or gave me some fucked up appraisal. fuck. why is my life so suck. fuck fuck fuck. im dead. without attachment. fuck my cca records will be super nice clean and white. fuck. nothing to say about myself except im some wuss.

say byebye to any scholarship. looks like i would trod down the sad soggy path of self destruction, enter nus to read uninspired economics and whatnot, without double degree and i would be some empty nutcase, hopefully i can find a $2k a month job to sustain myself, maybe pay for my phonebills and exotic porn vids with a little left over, no porsche 911 for my first day of work (at this level it wouldnt make sense anyway).

somehow im not as deeply disappointed as before. maybe its because im getting accustomed to failing. maybe rjc has done well in teaching me lessons in life. maybe the tutors have been successful in thumbing me down. i scorn them. but, after the crescendo, the blows dont affect me as much. its much like diminishing returns. just as the first unit of fertilizer makes the crops grow better and the tenth unit only burns the crop. ive passed the point where the blows dont add to my misery, they only add to my pleasure. im a fucked up masochist.

after my hcl failure, my failure to even get the moe scholarship, my not getting straights, im distraught. but somehow im also numb, so the pain does not sear as deep.

im at peace as i stare down the sad dark tunnel that is going to be my life. a life with no sunshine, no hay, no companionship. and i am relieved. ive never felt better. the optimist in me tells me that darkness is good for me. dampness is good for me too. at least i wont get glaucoma. but heck i wont need my eyes, id just fall down and be too uninspired to pluck myself up from the muck. my brains would just turn to mush and slowly id become a huge slob of goo, which i actually am already not much better than.

at least i know i suck. and i can accept it. its karma. fucking karma. if this is my life then so be it.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

why rj should hold leadership conference tomorrow and the day after

cos ccals are too free.
first it begins with a simple reminder on the egroup.


Hi CCALs!

most of you would have probably received an SMS on
Monday, 1 October, informing you of the upcoming RJC Leadership Conference. I'm
not sure if it includes A.CCALs as well, so for A.CCALs, please check with other
A.CCALs that you know, if they have received any of such messages. If they have,
then i would assume that you will have to be around for the conference as well.
This is just a reminder, just in case some of you have forgotten it, or have not
received it.

The conference will be on the 8th and 9th October, at
the PAC. Please report there at 0835 on both days in full uniform, and
attendance is compulsory. Those who have PW dry runs that clash with the
conference, please call Mr Low at 64199796 or Mr Chong at 64199690 (although it
might be a bit late now!).

That's all for now, see you all on
Monday!


then one person adds on to it, which is fine.

Hi all,

Just to add on to Jun Yang’s message – the leadership
conference does include A. CCALs, because I am the A. CCAL for Mathematics
Society and I have received such a message.

So see you all there on
Monday!


riiiiight. like we care who u are.

A.CCALs received it as well.if i'm not wrong, i believe whoever went to the CCAL
Camp would've received the msg and asked to attend. :)thanks for the reminder
anyway.


the next person gives a random opinion.

just randomly wondering.. anyone know what we're gonna be doing? with all due
respect, it sounds rather bleah..and why the . between A and CCAL? shouldn't it
either be ACCAL or A.C.C.A.L.?cheers,Rahul


a stupid question considering everyone knows its a bloody waste of time. and interesting observation of the discrepancy, aha.



there'll be a 1.5 hour session on monday for us to all split into
designated groups for sharing and stuff. not sure if there'll be any
facilitation/what exactly we're gonna share about but yeah. probably discussion
of like. common problems and stuff. and the rest of the time we dont know,
probably workshops and talks and stuff like that.
and the president responds. like wtf.

so we should all go for the conference cos we are so damn bloody free

especially me cos i bother to blog about it. haha.

passion between the sexes

knowledge and the wealth of nations is beginning to be such an interesting and rewarding read. somehow its nice to know about how all the econs fall together. i know more economists now.

Adam Smith
Karl Marx
Malthus
Alfred Marshall
Nicholas Keldor
John Hicks
Josef Schumpeter
AC Pigou
Allyn Young
John Maynard Keynes

but i cant really remember the bits of the book.
after i finish maybe id record all the interesting quotes so i can mug them so i seem smarter than i really am.

(side track. i didnt take the iq test on facebook because i dont want to know im stupid. especially when people are entering 145 and 143 kinda scores, sorry i dont need to lower my self esteem and bruise my ego anymore. thanks)

i read about 100 pages in about 1/2 hr. not impressive, but somehow i had to keep going forwards and back to totally appreciate what the books about. and considering i have never actually read a book since maybe end of last year (notes and sloman not considered) quite an achievement ya.

apart, went to see cars again, too much time to burn.

had great food this weekend, from waraku to the line at shangri la. both are quite nice and i think im still super bloated. soup restaurant was just pathetic and the prc server just sucked. the food is quite salty too. yucks.

fuck tmr got youth leaders conference. what a nice sounding name for hoarding all of us into pac to order us to do shit for the school for no gains. whatever man. going to refine my pw op script while they talk. hah.

Friday, October 5, 2007

the raffles ride

haha fanciful name for open house.
anyway open house today was a little fun actually. i reached school pretty early, sfl wasnt open so i went to hml. havent been there in quite a while. before hcl o i spent days cramming chinese. fuck i still got a2. anyway the library felt nice, if a little stuffy cos the aircon was just started. no one in the library except the student librarian. he is some wuss. anyways
read straits times then some random magazines. was looking for the quran but couldnt find it. at 9 i goes to rj.

obviously no one would be in school, so we didnt set up our booth and went to watch performances at amphi. the gay day begin with renditions of abba by the band, dancing queen, mama mia and fernando. then there was modern dance, which was quite enjoyable to watch. lenny was just pro.

basically its supposed to be open haus to the secondary sch kiddies, but it was more like an open house for j1s. cos we were all strolling around, watching performances exploring the LTs and drinking from the milo van. i took like 5 cups i think.

inspection 1: das

then suddenly out of the blue, as i stroll up from the milo van i sees das. which totally scares the shit out of me, that theres no one at the booth. walau i quickly runs to booth with gt and mt and when sowden arrived we talk some cock to him.

and he says, good job guys.
phews.

quiz 1: rgs girls

anyway no one was interested in what acad clubs had to offer, as usual, then suddenly 2 rgs girls came, and said in a super bimbotic gorilla way that so this is recas. damn i is the only one there and i had to entertain them.

turns out they are the reps for rgs for caq. wawaweewa. impressed. but they were stupid. they says they studied for the quiz or something. so i ask them the questions and they got every single question wrong.

the best one is the gini coefficient one. 'i know this one, i know this one, wait ar... ...'
i wait.
'wait ar...'
'2! confirm!'

fuck gini coefficient is obtained by the area between y=x and the lorenz curve over the area below y=x. logically speaking theres no way for the number to be over 1! wtf!

some other fairly intelligent answers include singapore is the smallest country in the world, vatican is part of italy, myanmars capital is some godknowswhat.

rgs always loses. we know why. to be discussed later by hq.

i proceed to clown around. ate lunch then went to range, where we scared the range supervisor abit by trying to load the pistols ourselves, in the process screwing the pistols up. haha. me, lenny and alan. damn nonsense lah. played and played, then went back to booth.

inspection 2: hq

then hq and sherm0n walks past booth, we invite them to play the quiz. proving his worth as exchair and as exrepresentatives of ri, they simply raped all the questions. they got ALL correct! impressive.

then we chats and he talks about the rg girls flirting with the hwach boys or sth stupid like that. and that they suck at all this kinda stuff. apparently while every team was answering 11 to 15 questions of 25 questions asked correctly, the rg team was answering 2 or 3 correctly. when they picked sports they got 0. wawaweewa. and how their stupidity n bimboticness pisses people off.

i think the rj girls sitting in the vicinity were quite pissed off at his apparent sexism. but in humanz comps, the girls, esp rg girls suck. haha i rmb acjc geog, they couldnt even get past round 1, which is embarrassing. vjc humans also. act damn pro, go damn 'on time' then get booted in the first round. jokes ah jokes.

quiz 2: rj ppl

anyway we were more like entertaining the rj ppl. cos all of them started coming to the booths to play. sammy, dom, liqian, seng teck, alankoh, hc, junren all came down to have fun.

sengteck and alankoh live up to their names and got most of the questions correct, the rest got about 8 or 9 out of 50 correct. which is pretty sad, but much better than the competitn teams.

we packed our booth early cos there was little to no interest in our booth, then i strolled around, went booth visiting then went canteen to slack. came home cos i felt a little nauseous.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

suspended animation

thats the state i hope i can be in now
too much time, nothing to do
soon id find i have a shitload to handle
but for now, nothing to do.

suspended animation really interests me. especially when i read about futurama and how he got rich accumulating interest over 1000 years. and generally live through unpleasant times.

at present suspended animation seems quite impossible. according to wikipedia, scientists were able to drain blood out of dogs and put them in stasis before reviving them. but some dogs had mental problems. hopefully they do better next time.

what got me thinking about stasis and suspended animation was this backyard science show on kidscentral. not very scientific, what with using baking soda or making a suspension bridge that essentially transferred load from cardboard to string tied between the same principals.

but the stasis of brine shrimp eggs impressed me. apparently the eggs can stay in stasis for years in a dry oxygen free environment. cool man. maybe diapause can happen in humans, then people who dont want their children now can have their children tomorrow and still have unprotected fun today. ridiculous as it may seem, maybe it would be possible one day.

fusing dumbass kidscentral shows mated with wikipedia really adds some spice to my life. heehee. lets see how my search goes.

Brine shrimp stasis diapause suspended animation futurama

whoa. then my eyes started hurting. wikipedia is too white. should change to black.

booth was done in a very short time. we really werent very into the booths. i think our booth is passable, except fx's booth is really quite nice. if ours were beside some chingchongpek booth maybe ours wont look so shit. and jap club is just wayy too enthu.

lots of crap ideas came out
and bitching about pw.

aaron 'performed' more like random strumming. but i think he would do a good job of it tomorrow. yupp, other than that i think open house is some shit. $10k and the school looks like crap, insufficient lighting, poorly cut out shapes and the generally drabby noticeboards. yuck.

anyway whos so indispensable to rj man. there are hundreds vying thousands dreaming for a spot. dont want to come, just fk off. and if u hav to come for open house to decide, also fk off. ur too shallow to deserve a spot. unless of course u come cos u r damn free, which is an entirely different case.

i pray they dont make my life difficult tomorrow.

then i went to the library to slack around. read the newspaper so closely. like i have never done in years.

then i read some readers digest, which clearly has become a lousy periodical. ah, whatever u call it. the jokes are downright feeble, the motivational stories about people among us repetitive. some unlucky guy trapped in a towering inferno, some unlucky woman bitten by some sad starving crocodile and her husband tickles the crocodiles belly to let her go, some disease problem.

the purpose readers digest serves is to make small kids feel smart about what they read. and maybe helped the depressed and make them know theyre not the most screwed up people in the most screwed up situation.

and i read nat geographic, more like just look at pics cos nowadays my eyes cant take close reading of minuscule words anymore. maybe im turning blind. but i think the pics are quite nice and they have inspired me to visit mexico some day.

borrowed knowledge and the wealth of nations just cos the book appeared right infront of my nose. hope to get down to actually reading a proper book, something i have not done since january. before that i read common sense and das kapital among others, fyi. heehee.

ive gotten sick of facebook and the abuse stho dishes out, what with planning my execution, have chuck norris beat me up, sweep up pieces of my pride.

stho is an apple goodly on the outside rotten on the inside man. rotten to the core.

ok time to go wank around and watch more tv.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

boredom

im really bored crazy

played travelers iq
115
thats a sad score.

watched how 2
sabrina the witch?

whatever silly thing on kids central

i havent watched so much junk in a single day since jc.
heehee

now i cant have any coherent linear thought

help me get a life

please

the rime of don

doesnt rime.

anyway after whining about pw for days
i got down to doing my bit.
1001 words in 20mins lol
i should have gone out to play instead.

well well
im free again
to think of what to do with 5 minutes
to reflect teamwork

and whatnot.

shit tomorrow have to build booth.

maybe it's karma

im stoning around listening to drilling in the background
flipping through my pw report there seems no equitable distribution of parts. im doing conclusion but i think its quite stupid. waiting for help from the honorable persons. heehee.
and nothing interesting to perform. no skit or song yet.
im really quite dead.

let's hope the councilors wisen up
i can see where they are coming from
moving chairs around is not easy.
but still this doesnt give them the right to order us around.
so chill, zhenan.

theres nothing about u,
just the council as a whole.
individual councilors are nice.
but ur niceness gets diluted by the
assholes among u.

happy days

today

Monday, October 1, 2007

happy nat day

impressive,don.
very impressive.
i hav to force myself to read it until the end before i fly to ur house and kill u.
haha.

anyway,i am really tired of fighting wif u over this kind of issue.
'it is a free country, so we should be free to express our opinion!'
that is really cool!
ur post is extremely vivid and accurate so it deserves to be sent to all the prc in school to read!
i can help!:)

happy nat day. thx for reminding me that i shall not be pissed.

National Day Reflections

today i shall feast on cardboard paus
but before i get my hands on them, i shall suck on my hotwheels toy cars.

rj is an enclave for prcs. my class, full of them. my cca, full of them. dean's lists, full of them (even GP!). prcs are everywhere. apparently, they are more than a third of the student population.

PRCs have revolutionised the way i look at things and the way i think of life. it is not that im some pathetic voyeur with a prc fetish, but they somehow always appear in my line of sight. if i were to draw a range card, they would be everywhere. like a swarm of locusts.

they have taught me a lot that i would like to share with the sad pathetically small readership. dear readership. but before i do, let me remind everyone, including the blog co-owner yaoyao, that im not a prc hater. i have never and will never be a card carrying 'red china' hater.

the greatest lesson learnt from prcs is learnt on the mrt. i have stopped taking mrt home since i found 157 as a cool, posh commute so i can avoid the the north.

Lesson 1: Everyone on the MRT is either deaf or doesnt deserve a quiet ride.

on multiple occasions, these prcs enjoy talking very loudly. now i know its unfair to single them out, but clearly they stand out when doing this. they have this accent that would immediately giveaway that they are foreigners. and they keep doing it. anyway why am i talking about this.

they bring being irritating to a whole new level. i often took the train during the peak period of around 6pm. during this time, almost all the trains lack even proper standing room as we're crammed up (as if on cattle cars used to transport us to treblinka). so these coolios have seats, but on opposite sides. and woots, they carry on a loud conversation even when they cannot actually see each other, shouting at the top of their voices like everyday's sunday.

and this did not happen just once, or twice. it happened at least five times, this year alone. it is almost a social phenomenon man.

Lesson 2: We all love to learn English with a cool accent.

somehow time is so precious. not time per se, but their time. everytime when the train stops at sun plaza, a horde of them would board. then they would start teach their kids. 'Ap-per-le' 'Joh-ne want-se to go to the playgroh-nd'. i dont want to playa-hate, but we know that some of you have adopted a cool cockney hackneyed accent or a cool yankee doodle one, buut pleeeese, give the other commuters some peace.

Lesson 3: The MRT is a sports stadium.

china is a sporting nation, even if their imports have all failed. and they probably excel in throwing. singaporeans 'chope' seats with all sorts of crap, even tissue paper. but they epitomize 'chope-ing'. they 'chope' from a distance.

what happens is that when they spy an empty seat with their eagle eyes, they immediately swoop down as if the seat was a succulent sheep and hurl their bag or whatever crap at the seat, before walking over. if it was a depot train its ok, but the train was quite full. nice. i was impressed.

Lesson 4: Seats are always available.

i heard about this from my mom, but recently i saw it with my own eyes! i was impressed! o pleeese, even the biblical moses would be impressed.

it is rush hour, the whole train is damn full. then suddenly a prc lady boards the train and she swoops in for the kill! the whole row of seats are filled, but suddenly she adopts a divers position with hands in a spear in front of her body and spears between two seats! then she quickly seats down. in the following moments somebody is displaced from his seat and ta-da! she has gotten herself a nice and comfy seat.

utterly impressive.

in school, they impress. they are really hardworking. they borrow volumes of voluminous volumes of economics to mug at home, that if language wasnt a barrier, they would just own all of us. this is something good about them, that they bring competition to singapore.

but they seem to mostly care about themselves. again, this is a hasty generalization, for even i know of prcs who are nice people who would go the extra mile to help his friend.

some of them totally dont care about pw or mess it up everytime they touch it. again this is hasty, for them in my group are really quite responsible folks. but from what i heard from my friends, spread out across classes, they tend to return with shoddy work or pervert the instructions to suit their laziness. clearly, disgusting.

some love surfing porn, especially from the genre of zhongguorencaolaowai. but im not interested to discuss this over here.

probably what strikes me most would be their intense nationalism, that they cannot take any insults real or fictitious on their glorious country and eternal chairman. lol. they would glare at you the glare that would take your breath away and scare the shit out of you. and when they are in huge numbers, you're scared that they turn violent.

haha. prcs have great impact on me, whether for the better or for the worse. the prcs outside school seem really like hooligans, the prcs in school cower in front of teachers. maybe they have been conditioned to be like that back home. clearly, more should be done to screen the immigrants.

time to go,
before i get run over by tanks.