and mephistopheles again beckons

well i am at one with myself.

yes, do not doubt this above statement, because i have spent most of the afternoon surfingpornandwanking away happily. i ignited and i exploded, twice, although the second time it was far from spectacular, and almost embarrassing. the reverse order of the bombs dropped over japan.

as many of my loyal readership (hi daojie!) should have already known by now, i got a C for chem. not just any C for chem, a FUCKING C for chem. an observant person would have noticed that i have refrained from using vulgarities in my posts. i have also been trying to use less vulgarities in my more common discource, but obviously i havent been too successful.

back to chemistry.

getting a C for chem left a real bad taste in my mouth. and this foul taste just lingers and lingers. i had entered the exams as best prepared as i have ever been, and i left the exams thinking that the paper was not that bad. honestly, i was expecting a mid to high B, maybe even a low A.

so when chung dumped the paper on my desk, the C on the paper jumped out at me, right into my face. the C, it jumped right off the paper and seared itself into my eyes and into my mind. i was in a state of shock, a state of disbelief, a state of denial. what the shit did i do?

as all ri boys weaned off miracles would do, i began counting and recounting the marks. i know the computations are rarely ever wrong, but i dont fault myself for trying and hoping. obviously there was nothing wrong with the calculations.

and then i tried to look for errors in marking, and obviously there werent. in hindsight, my answers were flimsy as an overwashed blouse and as lacking in substance as aquinas' arguments. to be honest, i felt horrible. i mugged, real hard, the hardest for chem, hard as i have ever mugged, and i get fucked. as kwa bh would ask, 'what did i do wrong? what did i do wrong?', so did i. i was devastated, utterly, especially since the prelims are just in, what, 8 weeks? and here i am, with a C on my chem paper.

C is for chem. C is also for cock and C is also for condemned. C is bullshit, and i have added yet another C to my rj tally. and this C feels worse than the other C, because chem is a science, and fair is fair. for econs, yeah, the tutors are biased or they are simply pussies who do not appreciate great genius, just as keynes' tutors didnt appreciate him. in science, everything is black and white. theres no gray. a wrong is a wrong is a wrong is a wrong.

dont mention hawking. hawking is a special case. and this level of science is not as complex as the science he is dealing with. i mean, the notes tell you to bloody use PBr3, then you jolly well bang it. theres no, but i thought, but i thought i remember. nadir of this nonsense. and obviously, im no einstein.

i was depressing around for most of the afternoon, just pissed, just fed up. well, at least i am a dumbdon but with a fully functioning body. what good is it to be a lucasian professor stuck in a wheelchair? while i understand the goodwill behind this statement, it is utterly illogical, a complete piece of crap. yes, i think in chinese theres some similar statement, what bishangbuzu,bixiayouyu. i mean, this is the way of a pussy. although im not doubting im well on a pussy, i dont like to admit it. and the fallacy of this statement stems from the fact that at least you have something. i can just go burn your house and murder your family, and then say, at least you are alive. shit this is bad. whatever, basically its crap.

anyway, i contemplated selling my soul, again. i mean, we all say faust is stupid, but now, i dont see faust as a total dumbshit. it is extremely appealing, to me, now, to sell my soul and lead a good life. because the life i am living now is a life, not very worth living. the only thing stopping me is my future valuation function. and maybe, also because i dont know how to sell my soul.

although i must say getting a deans list for chem, and maybe even econs, phy and math, on top of a 100th percentile for gp in exchange for a less than eternity in purgatory doeth seem appealing.

on my trip home i contemplated ending this miserable life. i had that many opportunities to fling myself on the road and become roadkill. it actually arouses me as i visualize my limbs in a mangled pile, crushed up, dformed, soaking in a pool of my blood, which is everywhere.

obviously i didnt dare to do it. cos im a humji. a pussy or whatever u call it. and i was already hurting from the spike that is chemistry struck through my heart, and down my thorax, that my gut did not receive the nourishment it so painfully required. and i havent actually have any carnal knowledge of a girl, so i dont want to die yet.

anyway the plan i have settled on is what jiawei would call a champion strategy. i dont see how champions need strategies. anyway, this strategy, much like his lameass strategies, are little more than natural progressions in life, coupled with a few decisions.

the champion strategy, is to quit rj, since trying to rape chem has been and most probably will always be a tall order for pussies like me. and then try to use my gpa to enrol into ite and work for a master nitec in cleanliness, sanitation and the like. i mean, the government has always been telling us how we should use our hands, and how ite can teach us how to use our hands well. important for me to contribute with my hands, when i cannot contribute with my brains.

anyway with this hardcore master nitec i can lead a team of cleaners from china to clean tables around town, and maybe take some foodscraps. and hopefully i can earn 1.2 k per month. sounds like a plan. ok actually this isnt much of a plan at all. but heck it. at least this is a way out for me.

anyway next time u see me, please dont fling ur tissues in my face.

life is really, really tough, ya.

twist and shout

life rocks.

apart from constantly underperforming in common tests

apart from having a hopeless cca record (and in the process ruining a cca)

apart from having a pussy cip record (and in the process screwing up a camp)

apart from my pathetic SAT score

yea life rocks.

life rocks

even though with my results and records i cannot go to any decent university. im just totally neither here nor there. to say that my results and records suck is unfair. but to say that my results and records are good is being untruthful.

even though i cant pass napfa, i screwed up my bloodtest, i probably screwed up my ns aptitude test, and im most likely going to end up a pussy rifleman licking yigays daojies lennys aarons boots when they come over to my camp.

even though i dont stand a decent chance of even clinching myself a pussy scholarship. on the above 2 counts, of poor school records and a poor chance at ocs, obviously im unwanted. not so much a piece of junk to be extricated and eradicated with immediacy. just some lump of dirt that concerns nobody. i just pray that im not exterminated. or at least not cruelly.

life rocks

despite having failure coming headon with no way to avoid it

despite having to see myself failing again and again

life just rocks my socks.

Raped

happy are the ri gayboys who have not to yet take common test after common test after holidays after holidays. happy are they.

of course, happier are they rj gayboys who have to take common test after common test after holidays after holidays, and whom so rape and rape and rape all the exams that so come before them. no kick, they say, no kick, as them steamroll, bulldoze and hump through the papers.

obviously im not among these elite few, because, im not gay, and because im not good.

the word to describe my experience the past feue days is 'hellish'.

day after day after day my mind gets raped. i go into the exams a yawning optimist, and then i leave a spent weary souless lump of shit, completely expended. and then i drag myself to the library and open my file and try to absorb as much as i can. obviously thats not very much, because i have a puny brain.

needless to say, i died for math. didnt even bother attempting the DE question. hmm, -7 right off. had as many careless mistakes as bacteria living under my foreskin, and probably would get tens of marks deducted for puerile presentaton.

chemistry was disastrous. got gayed by the mcqs. i even got the first question wrong. lol. and thats how simple lah. looks like this is going to be another B and below for chem. hmm, not looking forward to next week.

physics was also horrid, because i fooled around and hardly prepared for the test. probably cos i felt crappy after 3 disasters in 3 days. ok, to be fair, the paper wasnt very tough, just as chemistry wasnt very tough, but i know i just made a pretty hell lot of mistakes.

all in all, ct2 has been devastating.

its supposed to be a wakeup call, but the call is probably too late, and probably costs too much. i mean, we all know that this is not the standard of the a levels, not anywhere near by any chance. and we can be sure that universities do demand transcripts, and we know that universities like A students, not C or D or S students. they would probably fancy less one who isnt an A student. and then this transcript will show it.

its a wake up call to the extreme. its like trying to wake someone up by stuffing a thumb of ginger up his/her a**, then poking long pikes through his/her extremities and then pouring hotwax all over his/her eyes. just to wake him/her up.

the question we should all be asking is, is that necessary?

of course, to the best among us, the common tests help diffeentiate them. to them, cts didnt even present much to them that they probably cant even consider this a dessert. maybe the little mint leaf on top of the creme brulee, but nothing more. neither exquisite nor important.

chairman mao said that the system is unfair, and we gays should all rise up in revolt. maybe its time for all of us to stand up to all this nonsense. after all, we and we among us are but little pussies, losers in this system, losers in the grander scheme of things. we probably have little to lose and muc to gain, if we stand up.

but we are probably too humji. and the smarts among us, these little conniving persons would most probably sabotage our cause, which would already be in a complete mess cos theres no cream of the crop on our side. we are just too dumb, put simply.

what do we nubs do after a hard week in purgatory?

we go celebrate our temporary respite, the respite being all of 8 weeks long.

we go to vivo, we eat at carls jr, which was shit value for money. we go walk around, balonglong, air our balls. we go play foosball, and make fools of our foolish selves, losing to kids probably half our equals. we play fifa euro 2008, and we never figure out how exactly to strike.

we go home. we try to be happy. do we deserve to be happy? evidently not. but do we want to be happy? obviously, yes. we might be high, but i dont think i was happy. theres always this nagging concern, this feeling of powerlessness and abject hopelessness lingering, lurking. somehwere.

i took bus home today. it took me 1 hr to get from vivo to 7th mile. and i was thinking to myself,today i take the bus, but next time, do i want to take the bus? do i want to spend an hour sitting with all the perverts in the back?

i dont want to. but judging from my predicted performance, i most probably have to.

as i walked from 7th mile to the 10th mile, i see houses, bungalows, semi-detached houses, terraces, condos. i see fountains, tennis courts, swimming pools. all surrounded by bukit batok, gombak and regency to the west and timah to the east. do i want to live this kind of life? yes i do. that would be a resounding yes, i do.

but judging from my predicted performance, i most probably cannot.

really got raped.

stupidity is criminal

way to go, don.

2/2 papers screwed, i am steamrolling through the cts and bumping up my name on the meet-the-deans list with each passing day. ok, maybe not to that extent, but i can see my percentile falling faster than a huge rock pushed off the steepest cliff in Hades.

i actually mugged damn hard for econs. i actually spent a good deal of time mugging. 5 days. all of 5 days. 9 to 7 mugging. i went through my notes, i went through my tutorials, i went through everything relevant i could get my hands on, even sloman 5th edtn.

the day started out poorly, and then continued on poorly. i knew what i was doing, sometimes. i knew what i was writing bout, sometimes. i was passioned, stirred, sometimes. most of the time i was just trying to write whatever came to mind. of course i was trying to fill up the foolscap. quantity is not substitute for quality, but quantity is helpful in making up for the obvious lack of substance. i think. anyway, the econs dept is probably going to humiliate me by writing all sorts of somewhat encouraging comments like "????", "is this equitable" or "see me!" all over my paper.

as so beautifully illustrated in sloman, i was like a guy who had to drive a car up and down a slopy road. except that the height of the slopes and the distribution of the slopes are not consistent. my task was to keep a constant speed. thing is, there is no speedometer, and instead of having darkened out windshields on 3 sides, i was blindfolded. i had a brake and gas pedal, but the gas pedal doesnt work and all the brake does is make stupid sounds that sound like condescending or stupid remarks like "all girls are pretty" or something. in short, i was screwed. and i was fed up as i was screwed. drained physically, mentally and emotionally. sapped, and sapped quite dry, just like an old pussy.

i knew it was bad, but ewong only rubbed it in. i wasnt on cloud nine, or cloud eight or cloud seven for that matter, but i was still feeling cool about econs. but she had to point out all the weaknesses in my answer, and then leave me reeling and without even a semblance of a little hair to cling on to for comfort, much less safety.

an apt analogy would be that i was standing a top a choked sink, and i was cool about that. and then she came along and started poking holes around the choke. and then she takes bigger, bolder stabs and then the membrane disintegrates and i fall down the cess and become one with the sludge and the shit down the dark and damp and dirty pipe. sounds like a pussy, but this is much worse.

because there is no wall of pleasure to bang against. because there isnt the quickie feeling that you get when you dont feel a force holding you up. i felt shit in all that shit as i quickly found myself surrounded, engulfed and held in shit. it felt real shitty, like going greek without an enema. it felt horrible.

that disgusting aftertaste still lingers. i see i am going to flunk again tomorrow. although somehow, the spastic optimist in me hopes for a better day.

across the universe

yep the internet connection is now good. to hell with speedtouch, which is just completely pussy. shida attempted to explain why such packaged data nonsense is so sucky during my internship, but i still dont understand why. i dont know why my internet is faster now, though.

i think my throat problem is not in the shallows of my throat but in the depth of my mind. sometimes i think i keep trying to prevent tonsil inflammation too much i get so overly worried about it and read any sign of dryness as an indicator of impending doom. i just take lozenges and pei pa koa whether or not i actually need to. im just a real foamer.

mugging today was quite unproductive. well, mugging the second time over will always be quite unproductive. i cant help it, i have filled myself to the brim, and anymore and i will spill. naah, this is not the pride that cometh before the fall. this is no pride, this is an overt recognition and silent resignation to my impending fate. doom, basically.

up to a certain point, mugging doesnt really matter anymore. what matters is just pure dumb luck. ok luck isnt dumb. Luck is a really sweet pretty fair Lady. and i hope She will smile on me, smile on me. though i think she probably wont be kind to pussies like me, just as Fate wouldnt.

sometimes people worry that their maids, domestic helps, whatever, might get horny and get themselves pregnant when they go for their sunday-offs. or like in my estate, i hears some people are scared that their maids will go a-humping with the banglaconstructionworkers. yep, its just plain racist, but all the time the folks around here complain about the banglas. this is quite a real problem in my neighborhood, since most houses are empty between 9 and 5. a good solution to this perennial problem would be to just buy them vibrators and teach them how to pleasure themselves.

come on, this is not about morality and all that. God probably wouldnt object to such methods of escape from their humdrum sad lives. if they are not dancing around on parapets or mopping the floor, they are most probably cooped up in the domestic bomb shelter or storeroom. i know for a fact, that many puny condos have their agents suggest that these domestic helps can live inside the bomb shelter, which has no windows and only a small circular vent to have them some ventilation. and the door is so damn bloody thick, a cell in changi might actually be more comfortable.

they should be allowed to let of some steam and be kinky themselves. after all, im pretty sure that many employers do not want to prevent the maids from popping the cotton to protect them from stds or unwanted pregnancies for the maids own good. many just dont want to have to deal with the repatriation and impounding and all that nonsense. a vibrator would be a massively good solution to this problem.

if they can climax by themselves, they know they dont need men, which is a good thing. although a duracell bunny will never stop pumping, it can never be compared to the real thing. but its a good substitute. i bet men and vibrators in such situation, ceteris paribus, would have a negative CED. and if they cant reproduce naturally, theres also a good side to it. that there will be lesser people brought to suffer in the squalors of luzon or mindanao or palawan or palembang or surabaya or borneo. if malthus appeals to u, and if the macroecons III notes are anything to go by, this restrains the growth rate and brakes the crisis. i dont know the secondary effect, but as ewong put it, the secondary effect can never be greater than the primary effect, thats why its called the secondary effect.

im real brilliant.

on a separate note, just as pigs cant fly,

good night.

dedicated to aaron

should try to get my act together.

stop watching danny phantom. its a bloody dumb show.

the fertile delta with dense foliage

today is a good day for aaron. now it is legal for him to bring her to yangtze cinema for a nice movie. it's good to be born earlier in the year, then there would be more girls you know who would be younger than you are.

i hope he bought her a useful present.

anyway, life is getting tough. i did electromag n emi tys again, and wtf, i cant do like half the questions. gabra. shits. im going to foam ct2, just like how i foamed ct1, promos and j1ct1. im a real foamer, i guess.

doesnt matter. i guess i can stop dreaming about owning a lamborghini, an aston martin and a land rover. i really need to use any inheritance for sustenance. im a real spendthrift, so i dont think i can live within the $800 paycheck i might be getting from cleaning tables at S11. even if i drank all the chilli sauce on top of eating all the prawnshells.

maybe if i go become a monk the monastery can provide for me, and all i do everyday is eat and sleep, and then when they go chant sutras i will slip out and zoom around in my vanquish.

but ns is just in 7 months. who knows what will happen then?

f kinetics

chilli crab + durians + sleep at 3am is pretty damaging. i should learn to blow my hair so i dont have to stay up till my hair is dry. or cut my hair soon cos its damn bloody long, especially at the back.

kinetics revision is making me foam. rate, rate equation and what not. and i cant find the bloody answerkey to the kinetics revision even though im pretty sure i have it. screw chem. rather, screw myself. im really hopeless at chem. even after days of foaming over organic, i still get conned by alicyclic amides and ketones. i still foam whenever i see NaOH, even though im quite confident i know what im doing in general.

at the rate im going, i can already see myself ending up in the hallowed halls of nus. a global education right at home! hehe. naah no foreign university would want me. just a peep at my transcript and they will just chuck my application down some toilet somewhere. or maybe they will be kind enough to return them with a rejection letter which explicitly says, "bugger off, wake up, stop dreaming. suicide is painless."

maybe even nus wont want me. they would scoff at my transcript and have the whole admissions department take turns to cough and spit into my rejection letter. most probably they dont want a pussy who cant even grasp, much less master, kinetics. they dont want a pussy who cannot even get a decent score for econs. yupp, C is indecent. i think the law fac also dont want people who cant get A for GP. argh!!! shit. screw the non-interference essay.

alright. time for lunch.

I'm a Loser (The Beatles)

I am not what I appear to be...

So applicable.

Post 444: An Ode to a Penis

I’ll tell you a short poem;
I’ll try to make it quick.
You might think it quite harmless;
You might well find it sick.
The subject is quite simple:
The joy of having a dick.

Penises are super things;
You ladies should be jealous.
Ever since the early days,
When it was small and hairless;
I’ve looked upon that bit of flesh,
As something very precious.

It starts to grow dramatically,
When you’re about thirteen.
Your testicles on either side;
Your willy in between.
When erect it’s quite a sight;
A purple love machine.

It dangles neatly down below;
Obedient and loyal.
Its seeds are hidden well within;
Awaiting some fresh soil.
At the slightest hint of lust,
It’s ready to uncoil.

It has a mind all of its own;
It’s like a wild beast.
It squirms and writhes and stretches out;
When you expect it least.
You can’t control its energy;
You must wait ’til it’s ceased.

Handle it with love and care;
For it can give great pleasure.
Has it grown since last weekend?
And when did you last measure?
Still, no matter what its length;
It’s something you should treasure.

Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves;
Erecting when it shouldn’t.
A bumpy train ride sets it off;
Just when you wish it wouldn’t.
Did that lady notice it?
You blush and hope she couldn’t.

Some people fret about its size;
They give it lots of thought.
Is seven inches long enough?
It makes blokes quite distraught.
They peek across in public loos,
And try not to get caught.

Masturbating is a sin;
That’s what some folk believe.
But those are just old wives’ tales;
Outdated and naive.
And if you’re feeling tense or stressed,
A quick wank does relieve.

Without this fabulous device,
No shag would be complete.
Lesbians will try their best;
But must admit defeat.
And what a handy tool it is,
When one needs to excrete.

The penis is quite marvelous;
It has so many uses.
For women it is special too;
Excitement it induces.
And babies can be procreated,
From its sperm-filled juices.

And always it remains with you;
Until you’re old and frail.
Don’t take it out in public though,
Or you’ll be thrown in jail.
Just look at it and feel proud;
And thank the lord you’re male.

how is it that i haven't noticed that today is friday the 13th until now?

strangers come and they violate you.
strangers come and they cut your heart out.
strangers come and they take your blood.

a stranger i once knew, violated me, seared through me, took out my heart and drained me of my blood.

how sad.

this is my neighbor. i killed his brother.

over lunch i was watching a documentary on history channel on the rwandan genocide. as pictures of mounds of dead tutsis and hutus just fill the screen for minutes on end, i felt queasy. the blood, still fresh, on the PRC made machetes, the severed limbs, the smashed skulls and all.

i couldnt eat. but i dont think its because of the graphic violence of one man, on another man who have lived beside him and played football with him since they were small. and then his brother crying after he said that he forgave his confused friend. it was just that my mind was drawn back to my gp essay on non-interference.

now i dont regret that very statement, that even if 1 million rwandans were killed, the belgian government should not have let 14 belgian soldiers die or even let any belgian soldiers come in harms way because belgian interests in rwanda were minimal. i dont regret this statement, because i am a firm believer in Pax Westphalia. and natural selection. whatever.

i couldnt eat because i knew i had written probably the worst essay in my life. i rewrote it over 3 times, the arguments were a little disjointed as i tried to wrestle myself out of the torpor that overcame me for reasons i still do not know. the essay was a load of bullshit, and it would really take a miracle for me to extend my run on the deans list for gp. and so i couldnt eat. i felt miserable.

anyway, i was watching some sports illustrated: swimsuit edition on youtube. you can watch them too! they are nice and they are not considered pornographic because, there is no nudity or sexual acts. and the models are real hot, i might even consider selling myself out to mephistopheles just to possess the posse of them.

i think after mugging, me and you and the dog named boo deserve a good break.

Hairy Andy's Lover

camp is over, but it was generally poor, even if i were to be very charitable. there wasnt much of a plan, or a wet weather plan at all. the games were haphazardly slapped together, but this didnt really matter cos all that the kids wanted to do was to play soccer or hide and seek. the most successful games we had were captains ball, soccer, hide and seek, and dodgeball. i guess we actually didnt have to plan anything and the camp would have all run more or less the same.

the volunteers were mostly very brilliant people. jordan's cousin impressed me with his ability at getting the kids to pay attention to him, while jordan and his sister were brilliant in that they were the only ones whom jianming actually listened to. i really admire jorddy for his patience with jianming. actually i think jorddy is damn patient with all the kids and damn nice to all of them. the rest of us were generally foaming around.

jianming was being the usual jianming, with his usual brand of interaction. what with kicking a girl's legs and then slamming another girl's hand. just an ass. i say we kick people like him from the camp. it is immoral to have him waste the time of others and shortchange them of the full experience. his kindof attention grabbing is bloody infectious and a lot of kids really get affected by his nonsense and then act crazy.

like the kids from dreams. the 2 troublemakers just keep pussying around and being antisocial and uncooperative. not only did they not play the games, they just affected everyone with an aura that was extremely unhealthy. they just piss you off. today they didnt come and today it was much better. the children were generally better behaved. even the faggot of yesterday who played with the toilet lights while i was in the toilet became damn nice and polite.

as jiawei said, these idiot who try to whip up a maelstrom of nonsense would have to be kept away from the masses so that the masses may not actually be that affected by their irate demands and generally highly infectious poor attitude.

danny was just a confused boy. cute, but damn confused.

tired, going to sleep.

Girl

i am a superficial person, to a great degree, but i guess her looks werent the clinching factor. this is not to say that shes ugly or unhot, or according to the scale of measuring rj students, freezing or cold. (the upper end of the scale constitutes, scalding, hot, warm)

CIP next week. next week is going to be a crazy week. the first camp is 2 days away, and we havent settled the logs, we havent ordered the food, and we dont exactly know who are the volunteers turning up. we havent held any briefing, and we the organizers arent even sure of what we are supposed to do. we are screwed.

but i hope alls well that will end well, and on to the hours!!!

tomorrow i shall mug EM n EMI again.

that's her who despises all femininity except in young boys

we know how powerful the media is. the media is a great tool, to inform and to affect. and i now better appreciate the immense impact the media has on people.

read the papers, watch the news on tv. inflation, inflation, inflation. shit. the more they report about it, the worser its going to hit. yes there can be inflation, but if we dont focus squarely on it, and then scrutinize it under a social microscope, then we wont notice it that much and get hurt that badly.

for us who do econs, inflation often compounds itself. singapore is an open economy, so inflation is largely imported. so input prices rise, and output becomes more expensive. people can buy less with the same amount of cold hard cash. they might not notice it, because most people actually earn more with time. but the media carry the news and the media inflames and fans and stirs up the fury and imbues in people that they are getting worse off. these people, the consumers now demand higher pay, and if the supply is inelastic, they would most probably get a higher pay. this increase in labor cost in turn increases the input cost, and the end product becomes more expensive.

if we give in to calls for pay rise to match inflation, we would only be allowing ourselves to be sucked into this vicious circle. we might even become worse off as inflation eats into savings.

buck up or get kicked.

Geography: An Integrated Approach by David Waugh

haha. GAIA. that was my first brush with this personification of mother earth.

ailing, dying mother earth.
dying, ailing mother earth.
cos the little pussies are killing her and hurting her.
the little pussies bite the hand that feed them.

well all i have to say is,
SNAP OUT OF IT!
the world will not end tomorrow if we use 1 billion more plastic bags!
the world will not end the day after tomorrow either.

stop being alarmist! cyclone nargis is part of the normal el nino ~ la nina cycle, just that it was a little harsher. nargis wouldnt have been too much worse than katrina, just that naypidaw is seriously pussy at crisis management. and the sichuan earthquake has close to NOTHING to do with global warming or the melting of icecaps.

on icecaps, are we not all well acquainted with the survival of the fittest? if the polar bears cannot survive under the harsh environment, then too bad for them. no one owes the polar bears a living. hey, i learnt that from national education. if they cant adapt, then they have to go. is this not the harsh reality of the real world? is this not the harsh reality in school?

rather, isit not this harsh climate that fosters the pursuit of excellence and the pursuit of happiness?

life is short. live fast, die young. enjoy it. stop worrying about the environment. even if we die, we would most probably end up as a separate consciousness in a disparate dimension.

imagine that dimension,
imagine no hell below us, above us only sky
imagine no possessions, and no religion too

imagine how good that alternate dimension would be.

and stop using green. its lame. stop thinking about sex and the fate of the products of our quickies. its also lame.

bah.

Out Out!! You Demons of Stupidity!!

what has transpired...
uzbekistan 7 sgp 3

wow. i thought the match was quite exciting to watch. it had all the thrills and spills and 10 goals in 1 match is just brilliant bang for buck, if time is money. if for a moment one can stanch one's national pride, if one's singaporean, of course, then i think it would have been a night to remember.

singapore just got trampled on. the uzbeks were just superior. they had superior dribbling, superior passing and superior sprinting abilities. if you had watched the match, you would have seen how shatskikh outsprinting the singaporean on the flank. i think s-league should have a higher requirement for the Beep test.

anyway, singapore should stop importing pussies like shijiayi or mustafic or wisdom from china or turkey or somewhere in africa. they should start importing uzbeks. look at how the uzbeks hardraped singapore. i think they should naturalize schmeichel. even with his vintage, he would have kept the goal better than lionel lewis.

the harvard talk was just damaging. first things first. i have never dared aspire to harvard college. all i dare dream about is NUS (a world class education right at home). 5 singaporeans got in. 5 prcs got in. hmm, looks like the prcs stand a very good chance of getting into this university.

harvard admits 10% international students. rj admits, er, like, 30%? hmm...

anyway, studying for cts has been quite bad, because of my malady which doesnt seem to clear up. no remedy seems to be able to alleviate me from my current state. i am always pretty distracted; by the computer and tv at home; by comics and dumb books in the library.

im just that talented at disrupting my own studies.

hopefully i get good soon.

decisive and incisive

so i studied SAT for days. but still my writing barely hit 700 and my critical reading is still sitting on the fence in between the backyard of 600 and 700.

i kept getting the diction wrong in writing section and it seems no matter how hard i try to memorize the nuance between this tricky words, i still will somehow get them wrong, inevitably.

so that is why i put the title 'decisive and incisive'. pretty obvious for ya, probably. i used the entire evening trying to figure out the difference.

ok, hav to do my laundry.

just one anecdote to share with you before i go off. i read the sunday news just now, or rather one particular article about the foreign students taking up too many seats in uni that locals feel threatened. ok, this is reasonble and i do empathsize the author. but to the xenophobic wusses who camplain about the higher bar set by the foreigners, wake up your idea. Even without foreigners, there are still many locals who are good. its juz that they choose not to stay in singapore and that is why wusses like u can get a place in uni last time. but now, things changed, u wanna study in uni and get an easy life next time, study harder. stop complainning about others are more hard working or older or smarter or whatever.

it is not that others are smart, it is juz that you are stupid.

no offence to any reader, just simply express my viewpoint on this issue. to a certain point, i do feel pity for them. anyway,good night.