hahas, must really give yiheng credit for taming max during cip. haha. somehow his way of alternating between a nice gay in a moment and a violent shirt tugging sadist in another works on the kids.
well, max isnt the most fked up. jianming is.
he like happily go around screaming, sticking postits all over peoples faces, curse n swear n all tt. his fluency in mouthing knnbccb is really impressive. respect to him, you.
well jianmings like a total failure. maybe even northlight would tell him to just sod off and die. hes a social misfit, an academic underachiever, maybe even complete failure. hes a joke.
but maybe the joke's on us. yea, he goes around punching people, hopping on people, he swears at anyone. basically he has no inhibitions. whatever he wants, he does, whatever he wants he takes, he has.
we are wimps. we think about the long run. we think that we would get fucked real bad if we do something. but in the long run everyone is dead. how do u know tomorrow u will wakes up and sees the sun rises?
i think jianming is living in the moment, and to the fullest.
the wuss, thats me, is screwing myself, me griped with anxiety and all sorts of horny dicks. whether i have 3 best achievements. whether i will get a college award for my cca. whether i can pass SAT. expectations of the future. i work towards projecting a good image of myself, to prospective boards, and in this process, ive lost myself, myself. what i used to love, i now dont. i dont cherish anything. not even the next breath or the next steppe.
i just want to die.
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