even porn cant perk me up
i don't want to die,
i just wish i'd never been born at all.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
sometimes i wonder why i did not apply to medicine
aaron's already in camp.
in less than 12 so would i.
field engineer training for common phase. fuck. please.
boohoohoo.
in less than 12 so would i.
field engineer training for common phase. fuck. please.
boohoohoo.
fast the week has flown past
like a 5.56 whistling past after the percussion cap had been struck.
time crawled the past 8 weeks before last week.
nevertheless
i enjoyed myself
immensely. reading, visiting panton, surfing, wanking.
much more i did with much less time than before.
tomorrow shall report to eti. first 4-5 weeks field eng training. fuck. i think i am going to die. i really will foam damn hard, especially when you consider that i have neither ran nor jumped in the last 4-5 weeks. bah. i hope i dont get confined for corrective training every saturday. if not i will go to mo every week n try to ooc loh!
pray i do well this tuesday.
like a 5.56 whistling past after the percussion cap had been struck.
time crawled the past 8 weeks before last week.
nevertheless
i enjoyed myself
immensely. reading, visiting panton, surfing, wanking.
much more i did with much less time than before.
tomorrow shall report to eti. first 4-5 weeks field eng training. fuck. i think i am going to die. i really will foam damn hard, especially when you consider that i have neither ran nor jumped in the last 4-5 weeks. bah. i hope i dont get confined for corrective training every saturday. if not i will go to mo every week n try to ooc loh!
pray i do well this tuesday.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
i hope
i hope my 4p classmates wont spit on me because i cannot disrupt ns.
i hope they also wont spit on me cos i am from sispec.
i hope they wont spit on me cos i got a2 for higher chinese.
i hope they also wont spit on me cos i am from sispec.
i hope they wont spit on me cos i got a2 for higher chinese.
Friday, May 22, 2009
an afternoon, 2 books, 1 black armchair
the best things in life come free.
realized that after blowing more than $1000.
went to see a specialist in mountE, then went over to lucky plaza and did an mri. was a cool experience. i fell asleep during the mri. the irritating sounds cant stop me. i am sispec trained. got time will sleep. that was half an hour of shut eye in a freezing room that costed $802.50. if i did not remember wrong. anyways my quads been wasted, on top of having a swollen patella and cartilage degeneration. hopes got potential to downgrade.
went to borders and read till 830. read Think, one of the required readings for oxppe. quite foamy to read. damn tough, convoluted. then read berkeley. my favorite solipsist. before i read the audacity of hope by obama. damn nice. i still maintained my ability to read fast. all in an afternoon.
in the time, i saw many couples and 1 rj couple smooching in 1 corner of borders. the guy was stroking the girls thigh and the girl was squeezing his butt. of course, they werent in sch uniform. but i recognize them.
anyways, after meditating in borders, i found out why girls who wear miniskirts wear shorts underneath. they dont want to zaogeng. i always thought that if they didnt want to zhaogeng, then wear longer skirts. but no. they wear miniskirts to show off their hot legs, not show off their underwear. cool. it took me years to reach that conclusion. but at least i did.
realized that after blowing more than $1000.
went to see a specialist in mountE, then went over to lucky plaza and did an mri. was a cool experience. i fell asleep during the mri. the irritating sounds cant stop me. i am sispec trained. got time will sleep. that was half an hour of shut eye in a freezing room that costed $802.50. if i did not remember wrong. anyways my quads been wasted, on top of having a swollen patella and cartilage degeneration. hopes got potential to downgrade.
went to borders and read till 830. read Think, one of the required readings for oxppe. quite foamy to read. damn tough, convoluted. then read berkeley. my favorite solipsist. before i read the audacity of hope by obama. damn nice. i still maintained my ability to read fast. all in an afternoon.
in the time, i saw many couples and 1 rj couple smooching in 1 corner of borders. the guy was stroking the girls thigh and the girl was squeezing his butt. of course, they werent in sch uniform. but i recognize them.
anyways, after meditating in borders, i found out why girls who wear miniskirts wear shorts underneath. they dont want to zaogeng. i always thought that if they didnt want to zhaogeng, then wear longer skirts. but no. they wear miniskirts to show off their hot legs, not show off their underwear. cool. it took me years to reach that conclusion. but at least i did.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
<>>>
i am going to pia. ya. going to gives it all ive got, what ive got to rape eti. make sure i get chosen for pltn sgt course. then i will gets lots of $$$. hahaha. trying to sleep n slack through ns isnt really working well. for the first time in my life i thought i was going to spend 2 years with little goal and nothing to work hard for. i am already getting numb from the lack of challenge. i think this yearning to rape comes from within.
but my piahing is contingent upon combat engineers not having soc as a requirement. ha. fk. if its a requirement to pass course then u will see me doin cos duties everyday until i become an admin spec. lol.
tomorrow i is see specialist at mt elisabeth for me knee. i hears this doctor has confidence to downgrade me. good.
next week foreign affairs informal discussion.
but my piahing is contingent upon combat engineers not having soc as a requirement. ha. fk. if its a requirement to pass course then u will see me doin cos duties everyday until i become an admin spec. lol.
tomorrow i is see specialist at mt elisabeth for me knee. i hears this doctor has confidence to downgrade me. good.
next week foreign affairs informal discussion.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
aaron is a great poet.
sun shines
sweat streaks
into my eyes
as i squint to catch that ray
wind caresses
gently urge the clouds
as they clear away
makes me
wonder
what goes beyond
that piece of blue
night falls
clouds return
sky on fire
watch clouds burn
rain's coming
run for cover
look around
cant escape
not at tp2e
but that's
where i'll go
where cats and dogs call
where the cold wind blows (and
bellows)
soaked
shivers in the chill
makes me wonder
if i'll
last through the night
well captured, the mood of the moment. that night at tp2e.
national museum
the visit was fun in a weird way.
i likes the verner panton exhibit. actually ive got a lot of furniture that are copies. haah. i have that S chair and the plastic injected chair shit. all vestiges of the 1970s and 1980s my parents have refused to leave behind. but also in good taste. actually i have a lot of things from the past. like all the coffee cups and mugs also on display at singapore street fare. anyways. verner pantons chairs are nice. so were his lamps. and i like the gay room he created. lol. it was fun interacting with the gay room. i did not really appreciate the christian lacroix exhibit. cannot really relate to the costumes.
anyways after that we went onto fort canning hill, went on to fort gate, sally gate and visited the keramat. i think it was the first time for zhegay to go up fort canning hill. what a pussy.
then at 1730 we returned to the musee to see the other exhibits cos they were free then. i like free stuff. the womens clothes thingy was quite nice. but i think they are better naked. anyways, i also liked the operas n wayangs one. although all they were showing was malay horror movies on the screens. some artefacts were just nice to look at. was a nice way to while away the afternoon.
then we is go chin chin for dinner. haha. after that go bugis, then home. tomorrow i wants go back school, but nobody elz going leh, than aaron. sian.
i likes the verner panton exhibit. actually ive got a lot of furniture that are copies. haah. i have that S chair and the plastic injected chair shit. all vestiges of the 1970s and 1980s my parents have refused to leave behind. but also in good taste. actually i have a lot of things from the past. like all the coffee cups and mugs also on display at singapore street fare. anyways. verner pantons chairs are nice. so were his lamps. and i like the gay room he created. lol. it was fun interacting with the gay room. i did not really appreciate the christian lacroix exhibit. cannot really relate to the costumes.
anyways after that we went onto fort canning hill, went on to fort gate, sally gate and visited the keramat. i think it was the first time for zhegay to go up fort canning hill. what a pussy.
then at 1730 we returned to the musee to see the other exhibits cos they were free then. i like free stuff. the womens clothes thingy was quite nice. but i think they are better naked. anyways, i also liked the operas n wayangs one. although all they were showing was malay horror movies on the screens. some artefacts were just nice to look at. was a nice way to while away the afternoon.
then we is go chin chin for dinner. haha. after that go bugis, then home. tomorrow i wants go back school, but nobody elz going leh, than aaron. sian.
Monday, May 18, 2009
i want nobody
SGCs and A level certs are ready for collection at the general office. i cannot wait to see my flawless cert. haha. its the first thing that went right for me this year. haha. if not 2009 has generally been a complete disaster.
i am efficient. today i surfed porn, wanked, came and read the whole book, 50 philosophers. st augustine and thomas aquinas dont really make much sense, but i cannot judge from that book, its just a snapshotte. i also finished up the introduction to the Bible (ox) which was little more than a collection of bible stories my maid used to tell me when i was young. i just love porn man. summore now i am of the legal age to surf. when i go to uk, maybe i will save up my allowance and go to a strip bdsm club. hehe. i dont see any clause in the deed that says i cannot engage in such activities. such activities dont even break the law in uk, how nice is that!
the only thing bad about porn is that we derive so much pleasure from it, we forget fear and all her friends. organized religions feed on fear, so they are afraid of porn. i think i reason as well as aquinas.
tomorrow i goes national museum. i want to see the verner panton exhibitn. i dont know why i want to, but i know i want to. maybe its some inner stirring. my aesthete. actually i like to see furniture designs. i think its quite cool for people to keep reinventing chairs from different molds, all to serve the same purpose. how do you know a chair is a chair if the chairs have no legs, no backs and no defined seat? how do you know that a coffeetable is not a stool or that a stool is not a coffeetable, even though we can sit on the coffeetable and put our coffee on the stool? i think its cause we all have the ideal chair in our minds, and we know that the creator of the chair so deemed it to be a chair. it serves the purpose of the chair. just like when we do go outfield, even the confluence of mangled branches make a good chair so your ass wont get wet from sitting on the damp soil. maybe it is a chair if we think its a chair. its the concept and not the object, the potentiality, not the actuality. hmm.
anyways, zhenans students should study harder so they have a fighting chance to pass their exams. they shouldnt be wasting their time here. hehe. if not become like my bmt pc, ABCD for a levels, so noob.
i am efficient. today i surfed porn, wanked, came and read the whole book, 50 philosophers. st augustine and thomas aquinas dont really make much sense, but i cannot judge from that book, its just a snapshotte. i also finished up the introduction to the Bible (ox) which was little more than a collection of bible stories my maid used to tell me when i was young. i just love porn man. summore now i am of the legal age to surf. when i go to uk, maybe i will save up my allowance and go to a strip bdsm club. hehe. i dont see any clause in the deed that says i cannot engage in such activities. such activities dont even break the law in uk, how nice is that!
the only thing bad about porn is that we derive so much pleasure from it, we forget fear and all her friends. organized religions feed on fear, so they are afraid of porn. i think i reason as well as aquinas.
tomorrow i goes national museum. i want to see the verner panton exhibitn. i dont know why i want to, but i know i want to. maybe its some inner stirring. my aesthete. actually i like to see furniture designs. i think its quite cool for people to keep reinventing chairs from different molds, all to serve the same purpose. how do you know a chair is a chair if the chairs have no legs, no backs and no defined seat? how do you know that a coffeetable is not a stool or that a stool is not a coffeetable, even though we can sit on the coffeetable and put our coffee on the stool? i think its cause we all have the ideal chair in our minds, and we know that the creator of the chair so deemed it to be a chair. it serves the purpose of the chair. just like when we do go outfield, even the confluence of mangled branches make a good chair so your ass wont get wet from sitting on the damp soil. maybe it is a chair if we think its a chair. its the concept and not the object, the potentiality, not the actuality. hmm.
anyways, zhenans students should study harder so they have a fighting chance to pass their exams. they shouldnt be wasting their time here. hehe. if not become like my bmt pc, ABCD for a levels, so noob.
25 square
well said don! im happy that there are only a few of my students who are reading this and given the limited information on blogspot, its hard for ppl to track who u r. otherwise, even the defending skills u learnt in bmt will not help u to survive. LOL...
anyway, i have not been posting for quite some time again. mainly because i am lazy. ok, later i need to go to the science centre to check out sth. but will also slack around there and play.
exams are over. im quite bored.
i watched secret and decided that i should learn the piano. but given my personality, i anticipate that the enthusiasm will fade away in a period of 3 to 4 weeks.
i kept watching the big bang theory and i like sheldon alot.
i feel like that i am doing that 25 random thing on facebook. (i kept kena tagged, but i only answered once)
well. i am going to eat something.
signing off.
zhenan
anyway, i have not been posting for quite some time again. mainly because i am lazy. ok, later i need to go to the science centre to check out sth. but will also slack around there and play.
exams are over. im quite bored.
i watched secret and decided that i should learn the piano. but given my personality, i anticipate that the enthusiasm will fade away in a period of 3 to 4 weeks.
i kept watching the big bang theory and i like sheldon alot.
i feel like that i am doing that 25 random thing on facebook. (i kept kena tagged, but i only answered once)
well. i am going to eat something.
signing off.
zhenan
Sunday, May 17, 2009
victorians are s____d
hehe is shant be so mean. and i dont want to get screwedd. you knows, i cannot get away with stuffs like lbw, what about questioning ppls integrity...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
make me
armoured engineer sounds tough
the only redeeming factor is that soc is not a passing criterion. not a veto factor. so i still have a fighting chance to passout as 3sg. haha.
the only redeeming factor is that soc is not a passing criterion. not a veto factor. so i still have a fighting chance to passout as 3sg. haha.
armor engineer specialist
school of infantry specialists here i leave...
sibei heng. fuck. luckily no aslc man. dunnd exercise cobra and what not. dont need to go to taiwan and hump around for 3 weeks. uncontrolled navigation for 100km. on foot. in the jungle. siao. yay.
most importantly, engineers dont need to do soc! hahahaha. with this new posting, i can kiss the low wall goodbye. and i heard that arm eng spec dunnd lbv also. just wear that temasek green jumpsuit. which is good shit.
wasnt the best of postings. would have preferred signals. stagmont campe is so much nearer to my house than nee soon camp. but thats fine by me too. chongpang is a nice place to screw around during nights outs. hahas. but sadly, no one from golf is aes like me. chaocheebye. but aes sounds better than field and cbre. and encik says i earn more than arm inf and aslc dudes. lol. hopes people there are nice.
anyways, all the best to the aslc doods. aaron, ronald, nigel. hongkan.
else, i missed 28km routemarch. i guess that doesnt matter, cos engineers dont do routemarches, methinks. lol.
sibei heng. fuck. luckily no aslc man. dunnd exercise cobra and what not. dont need to go to taiwan and hump around for 3 weeks. uncontrolled navigation for 100km. on foot. in the jungle. siao. yay.
most importantly, engineers dont need to do soc! hahahaha. with this new posting, i can kiss the low wall goodbye. and i heard that arm eng spec dunnd lbv also. just wear that temasek green jumpsuit. which is good shit.
wasnt the best of postings. would have preferred signals. stagmont campe is so much nearer to my house than nee soon camp. but thats fine by me too. chongpang is a nice place to screw around during nights outs. hahas. but sadly, no one from golf is aes like me. chaocheebye. but aes sounds better than field and cbre. and encik says i earn more than arm inf and aslc dudes. lol. hopes people there are nice.
anyways, all the best to the aslc doods. aaron, ronald, nigel. hongkan.
else, i missed 28km routemarch. i guess that doesnt matter, cos engineers dont do routemarches, methinks. lol.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
grandslam summary exe
wanderer was stupid. prc 77 was fucking heavy and the stupid metal frame rested on the large util pouch. as expected, we didnt bash, just used track. but with my talent and pure luck we didnot get caught at all. we did not even have to hide. no one came to catch us. found 3 day checkpoints then we got too slack so we slacked at ahmads training shed. some stns were pretty hard to find, but jufris the man. haha. i juz carry the set at the road, then he chiong in to do the shading. haha along the way met the ocs delta guys. saw auyong. haha. his sectn instructor looks damn fierce. we got scared hed report us, cos we were at a junction, helmet off lbv off long 4 unbuttoned eating. doin eveyrhting we werent supposed to.haha.
night we foamed. couldnt find the fucking checkpoint, lallang too tall, too many coconut trees. commzed 00, and they commz back saying, do not totally trust the map, roads might have changed. wtf. if liddat then might as well dun use map right. cheebye. we rv with other groups looking for WASP, then got too shag we just slpet on the road for 1h before we moved on. exe called off, by the time we reached b coy trng shed it was 1, slept quite comfy.
next day we do pltn harborin. tact march 1.5, harbor. nth much, jus quite shag. high kneelin wif fullpack damn siong. can die. after that just slack around. luckily no ayraf to kachiao us. saw our new sectn instructor. sian that it was not ahmad at first, but found out later he was also an nsf n ahmads good friend and he also damn welfare. life really rocked from then on.
got assessed on first day. did 2 immediate assaults. 2nd stn supposed to be firemovement, but i fk it. saw greg, he wasnt even fully dressed. est <30 m away so i juz chiong in. lol. in the end i think i passed, so alls well. lol.
after that was mg team and enemy. just slack, fire blanks, sleep, slack, sleep. night time sucked, cos it rained. if not, is just slack sleep. we didnt stand to. we were the cheebye kias. but nvm, the instructors all too slack to come kachiao us already. so we enjoyed ourselves.
thursday got unexpected nightsout cos dinner wasnt indented. so went to slackaround in jp with aar. was fun. ate banmian. friday was slack. arms also anyhow clean. just sit around talk cock only. lessons were all a complete waste of time. went to chevrons. drank a few glasses of beer. got a bit wuzzy, went home.
fuck, urban ops tomorrow. but friday i pop! yays. i will definitely ooc wherever i go. enough of all this outfield nonsense.
night we foamed. couldnt find the fucking checkpoint, lallang too tall, too many coconut trees. commzed 00, and they commz back saying, do not totally trust the map, roads might have changed. wtf. if liddat then might as well dun use map right. cheebye. we rv with other groups looking for WASP, then got too shag we just slpet on the road for 1h before we moved on. exe called off, by the time we reached b coy trng shed it was 1, slept quite comfy.
next day we do pltn harborin. tact march 1.5, harbor. nth much, jus quite shag. high kneelin wif fullpack damn siong. can die. after that just slack around. luckily no ayraf to kachiao us. saw our new sectn instructor. sian that it was not ahmad at first, but found out later he was also an nsf n ahmads good friend and he also damn welfare. life really rocked from then on.
got assessed on first day. did 2 immediate assaults. 2nd stn supposed to be firemovement, but i fk it. saw greg, he wasnt even fully dressed. est <30 m away so i juz chiong in. lol. in the end i think i passed, so alls well. lol.
after that was mg team and enemy. just slack, fire blanks, sleep, slack, sleep. night time sucked, cos it rained. if not, is just slack sleep. we didnt stand to. we were the cheebye kias. but nvm, the instructors all too slack to come kachiao us already. so we enjoyed ourselves.
thursday got unexpected nightsout cos dinner wasnt indented. so went to slackaround in jp with aar. was fun. ate banmian. friday was slack. arms also anyhow clean. just sit around talk cock only. lessons were all a complete waste of time. went to chevrons. drank a few glasses of beer. got a bit wuzzy, went home.
fuck, urban ops tomorrow. but friday i pop! yays. i will definitely ooc wherever i go. enough of all this outfield nonsense.
Friday, May 8, 2009
hit the deck
feeling woozy now. 3 tiger beers after lacking proper sleep in the less than dense plantatns of tekong for a week. cranky. got into law and econs at nus. everyone got in. baah. tomorrow i shall blog.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
foosball with chia
well, life in school has been enjoyable. students having exams, teachers eating durian in the staff lounge. i needed fresh air, so i escaped to this room and started typing this post.
now, the centre of my work life has shifted from teaching and marking to playing foosball. well, i suck. even lost to girl.. LOL. but i enjoyed watching others play. esp match between denny and chia. mr chia, the fierce discipline master, is surprisingly good at foosball, which shocked me considering how old he is and how serious he usually he looks. haha. but he s strong and skillful. when he strikes a shot, the whole table moves. sometimes, im really scared that he may get a heart attack when striking a goal. hope it never happens.
haha. someone who we used to be scared of can turn to be someone that u can joke with and play a game together. still remembered the days that i used to smuggle food back to class, trying to avoid chia in the corridor; the time we sneaked out to eat in canteen during lesson time, afraid of getting caught by chia and getting detention. LOL. now, we sit together in the canteen and eat at any time we'd like. we have pleasant conversation while eating ice cream outside canteen. small things like these now make me happy.
it is always good to get out of the circle where all ppl talk abt is army, scholarship, uni and not getting a girl friend. i love my new life though i miss the old days.
please don't leave me.
P.S. good luck to all my students who are having exams. :)
now, the centre of my work life has shifted from teaching and marking to playing foosball. well, i suck. even lost to girl.. LOL. but i enjoyed watching others play. esp match between denny and chia. mr chia, the fierce discipline master, is surprisingly good at foosball, which shocked me considering how old he is and how serious he usually he looks. haha. but he s strong and skillful. when he strikes a shot, the whole table moves. sometimes, im really scared that he may get a heart attack when striking a goal. hope it never happens.
haha. someone who we used to be scared of can turn to be someone that u can joke with and play a game together. still remembered the days that i used to smuggle food back to class, trying to avoid chia in the corridor; the time we sneaked out to eat in canteen during lesson time, afraid of getting caught by chia and getting detention. LOL. now, we sit together in the canteen and eat at any time we'd like. we have pleasant conversation while eating ice cream outside canteen. small things like these now make me happy.
it is always good to get out of the circle where all ppl talk abt is army, scholarship, uni and not getting a girl friend. i love my new life though i miss the old days.
please don't leave me.
P.S. good luck to all my students who are having exams. :)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
when i'm not around
life in sispec isnt soo bad actually.
you dont get turned out like everyday's sunday like what happens in ocs. you dont get rcp as easily.
you dont have to run after a tank like the armored infantry troopers.
you dont have to do a 4km mopp 4 run like cbrd or isit cbre.
probably only the the pes c/e and ooc dudes are living it up better. sispec is generally slack.and to some extent quite fun.
but i hate staying outfield.
and i dont want to navigate around tekong and get lost.
i dont want to be the flying dutchman of tekong.
and i dont want to get heat rash and a fungal dick.
please help me, God.
you dont get turned out like everyday's sunday like what happens in ocs. you dont get rcp as easily.
you dont have to run after a tank like the armored infantry troopers.
you dont have to do a 4km mopp 4 run like cbrd or isit cbre.
probably only the the pes c/e and ooc dudes are living it up better. sispec is generally slack.and to some extent quite fun.
but i hate staying outfield.
and i dont want to navigate around tekong and get lost.
i dont want to be the flying dutchman of tekong.
and i dont want to get heat rash and a fungal dick.
please help me, God.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
sometimes tomorrow never comes
classouting yesterday capped off a fantastic week of bookouts and a letter of offer from ies. altogether jordan hongjiang zhenan aaron leonard wq xj and andrea. being polychronic, many were late. we played pool but got bored soon. talked cock. went night safari. night safari was fun. lol. stupid animals. i liked the bats and i like the tiger and the leopard. the lions just looked gay. and the hyenas and foxes were in depp sleepe. had fun, found out more about people und stuffs, found out about their uni stati, found out about what they is doin now. looks like they is all going for smu. the girls. they should go nus. nus is how estab. and jordy is going to smu for bizacc. i think a real man like him should go to nus. smu is beneath him. aiyah but anyhows he probably considered all the mitigating fattors to arrive at the decision. and i wish them all the best in their endeavors. i learnt more also about andy. actually her life quite tough now with all that shit. but heys studyin in singapore is fantastic too.
i miss rj. those were good days. army just sucks too much cock.
hope our class can mete up regulalry to braek the monotony of my army life. sickening shit. hahas. but probably wont once everybody gets back busy with their lives, with the 2 harbinese in uk, the singaporeans elseplace and more.
im applyin to oxfordppe. btter not get fked this time.
i miss rj. those were good days. army just sucks too much cock.
hope our class can mete up regulalry to braek the monotony of my army life. sickening shit. hahas. but probably wont once everybody gets back busy with their lives, with the 2 harbinese in uk, the singaporeans elseplace and more.
im applyin to oxfordppe. btter not get fked this time.
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