2007 has been a turbulent year. i had my happy times, i had my sad times.
elation, satisfaction, joy like i have not felt in my 4 years in the more sterile ri. rjc is just steps away, but rjc is totally different. this year, the first time anybody celebrated my birthday, this year, the first time i actually talked to my contemporaries of the fairer sex. in pri sch i didnt really mix with them, and in ri there were none of them. they might be petty, ignorant, selfish (and the rg ones manly), but they are interesting to know, i suppose.
achieving something extra curricular, becoming the chairman. small club, but chair, nonetheless. my pride, my joy. in ri, i was the slacker, the lucky slacker who raped the cca records with 28 points without going for more than a quarter of the trainings, the slacker that maybe many despised. maybe many detested.
pissed off, when i saw the throngs of prcs. in my og, then in my class. anger and frustration gave way to regret, when i realized karma might have been at work. the years of happying around 4p telling shida how condemned china is and making his life miserable might have brought this upon me.
despair, when i screwed up my econs and my promos. depression, when my cca almost crumbled. when caq was not approved, when tk called the schools individually to cancel the caq.
suicidal, when i first met my pw, when i did pw, when i submitted pw. suicidal when i got a2 for hcl. suicidal when i screwed up my SPAs.
crests and troughs, of amplitudes far greater than those in my relatively sheltered ri life. choppy. foamy.
2007 is a turning point. things changed in 2007. things happened in 2007. but 2007 is about to be over. i thank everyone for the pleasant and happy memories. i will always treasure. to those who have made my life unpleasant, watch out. im waiting to see your downfall, and im always ready to rub it in.
2008 will be a tough year. a fucking tough year ahead. i here resolve to work hard to whip my A levels damn hard. and i shall endeavor to be nicer.
Happy New Year Everyone.
Monday, December 31, 2007
i want to break free
disaster strikes, again.
nope, not the bhutto assassination. thats be sodof old news.
ihc has not been approved.
well, well, im still not very clear why it has not been approved or whether the councilors can overwrite the previous approval or even whether the previous correspondence with dangerous dave even constituted an approval.
as chairman, im pretty disappointed, because im leading the club into a labyrinth of tunnels. dark, deep shitholes. (as an individual, no ihc, less work to do, more time to mug) in good tradition, we screwed up caq. in good tradition, from what i heard about it from sengteck n alan. n from the j2s themselves.
while i feel that the club should exist peacefully minding its weekly activities, it has come to my attention that going for weekly sessions doesnt give u any mileage on ur testimonial. for the chair, its ok, but for the member, it looks like shit on his records.
even if i dont really like them, i guess im responsible for them. so now i just have to hope that the acjc-rjc thingy sodof gets approved. so theres some big shit to write in their testimonials.
cca feste jan 9th. which doesnt leave me with too much time. must meet them and chart the path till june, when i will just handover and start mugging for As already. the sessions already seem very screwed up. the j2s, our batch, decided that theres nothing in recas for them to look forward to. they dont want to discuss, debate or listen. and the few who talk already move to other ccas cos they have no positions.
my life is pretty screwed up. a string of Bs and i hardly mugged this hols. 1 month of attachment almost consumed my whole holidays. i didnt do any SAT on my flights, because the plane stank of china and the seats were really cramp (or better, i became really tall). SAT is in 26 days. and i cant get more than 2000. screw it. my results are seriously gg.
if j1 is supposedly the slow, relax, play ur dick off year, then im seriously going to die. i already dont think i can finish my homework n revise, much less mug like a mugger. add to it my AP & H3, seriously im going to get fucked damn badly.
and cip. and helping aaron and jordan if possible. but i hope they dont count on me to set up the club.
life is fucking tough.
nope, not the bhutto assassination. thats be sodof old news.
ihc has not been approved.
well, well, im still not very clear why it has not been approved or whether the councilors can overwrite the previous approval or even whether the previous correspondence with dangerous dave even constituted an approval.
as chairman, im pretty disappointed, because im leading the club into a labyrinth of tunnels. dark, deep shitholes. (as an individual, no ihc, less work to do, more time to mug) in good tradition, we screwed up caq. in good tradition, from what i heard about it from sengteck n alan. n from the j2s themselves.
while i feel that the club should exist peacefully minding its weekly activities, it has come to my attention that going for weekly sessions doesnt give u any mileage on ur testimonial. for the chair, its ok, but for the member, it looks like shit on his records.
even if i dont really like them, i guess im responsible for them. so now i just have to hope that the acjc-rjc thingy sodof gets approved. so theres some big shit to write in their testimonials.
cca feste jan 9th. which doesnt leave me with too much time. must meet them and chart the path till june, when i will just handover and start mugging for As already. the sessions already seem very screwed up. the j2s, our batch, decided that theres nothing in recas for them to look forward to. they dont want to discuss, debate or listen. and the few who talk already move to other ccas cos they have no positions.
my life is pretty screwed up. a string of Bs and i hardly mugged this hols. 1 month of attachment almost consumed my whole holidays. i didnt do any SAT on my flights, because the plane stank of china and the seats were really cramp (or better, i became really tall). SAT is in 26 days. and i cant get more than 2000. screw it. my results are seriously gg.
if j1 is supposedly the slow, relax, play ur dick off year, then im seriously going to die. i already dont think i can finish my homework n revise, much less mug like a mugger. add to it my AP & H3, seriously im going to get fucked damn badly.
and cip. and helping aaron and jordan if possible. but i hope they dont count on me to set up the club.
life is fucking tough.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Back from PRC
8 days flew by fast
my 5th trippe to prc
amoy, chuenchiu, zangziu, teochew, swatow, kityang
basically all south east china.
i learnt quite a lot, and was pleasantly surprised.
like how southeners dont share the nationalist fervor that transpires among the harbinese and the other northerners that infest rj. many people in these places i visited fear and despise mao tse tung and prc more than herpes and warts.
these people are envious of the success story that is taiwan or roc, whatever u wanna call it, and they suffered graetly during the cultural revolution. because in china during the revolution, if u have foreign relatives, u r to be supervised. many of them lost their land and valuables and family heirlooms and whatnot and were even sent into the villages to 'gai zao' them and make them friends of the revolution.
interestingly, people from teochew have great business acumen, such that over a quarter of chinese wealth is controlled by teochews. and teochew is only a very wee enclave in guangdong province. teochews dominate the rich lists in south east asia as well, with the richest pinoy n indon being teochew. li ka shing is also teochew. lol impressive. if teochews have so much business smarts, then how come im so poor?
many of the richest chinese are from the swatow part of the teochew speaking area. but swatow is mother poor. maybe its because the real pros have the brains and the balls to escape from china before mao took over china.
i visited my 'relatives' in a little village called seng kang. haha. 桑港 actually. they did bear some resemblance to us, but they looked primitive. we have larger rounder eyes. they have slitty little eyes and seem to have very long upper limbs or suffer from bone loss in their backs. they seemed stuck in the past, when we have all moved along and evolved.
but they were bloody rich. all of them have sets of gold teeth. but its cos of remittances from their overseas relations, ie, my grandfather and grand uncle, who together donated a whopping 200 000 RMB to the little village! that they named the main road of the village, which was basically a one lane road after them. riiight.
自扫门前雪
well the chinks epitomise this. they even bring it to an all new level. they literally sweep their rubbish out onto the main road, from amoy to swatow. the roads are filthy. i took a photo of a road, which was wet from a choked gutter, which smelt from the filth, the rotting cabbage from the vegetable stall, the foodwaste from the chuan shao stall and more. SUVs are practical in china, the roads are bathed in plastic bottles, broken wood furniture, glass shards, that it feels like a journey through the densest and harshest cross of a tundra and the malaysian rainforest.
to be continewed.
my 5th trippe to prc
amoy, chuenchiu, zangziu, teochew, swatow, kityang
basically all south east china.
i learnt quite a lot, and was pleasantly surprised.
like how southeners dont share the nationalist fervor that transpires among the harbinese and the other northerners that infest rj. many people in these places i visited fear and despise mao tse tung and prc more than herpes and warts.
these people are envious of the success story that is taiwan or roc, whatever u wanna call it, and they suffered graetly during the cultural revolution. because in china during the revolution, if u have foreign relatives, u r to be supervised. many of them lost their land and valuables and family heirlooms and whatnot and were even sent into the villages to 'gai zao' them and make them friends of the revolution.
interestingly, people from teochew have great business acumen, such that over a quarter of chinese wealth is controlled by teochews. and teochew is only a very wee enclave in guangdong province. teochews dominate the rich lists in south east asia as well, with the richest pinoy n indon being teochew. li ka shing is also teochew. lol impressive. if teochews have so much business smarts, then how come im so poor?
many of the richest chinese are from the swatow part of the teochew speaking area. but swatow is mother poor. maybe its because the real pros have the brains and the balls to escape from china before mao took over china.
i visited my 'relatives' in a little village called seng kang. haha. 桑港 actually. they did bear some resemblance to us, but they looked primitive. we have larger rounder eyes. they have slitty little eyes and seem to have very long upper limbs or suffer from bone loss in their backs. they seemed stuck in the past, when we have all moved along and evolved.
but they were bloody rich. all of them have sets of gold teeth. but its cos of remittances from their overseas relations, ie, my grandfather and grand uncle, who together donated a whopping 200 000 RMB to the little village! that they named the main road of the village, which was basically a one lane road after them. riiight.
自扫门前雪
well the chinks epitomise this. they even bring it to an all new level. they literally sweep their rubbish out onto the main road, from amoy to swatow. the roads are filthy. i took a photo of a road, which was wet from a choked gutter, which smelt from the filth, the rotting cabbage from the vegetable stall, the foodwaste from the chuan shao stall and more. SUVs are practical in china, the roads are bathed in plastic bottles, broken wood furniture, glass shards, that it feels like a journey through the densest and harshest cross of a tundra and the malaysian rainforest.
to be continewed.
Monday, December 24, 2007
rose
went to sentosa yesterday. got hell a lot of ppl. now i know the power of consumers, especially during festival seasons!
i shall continue later, gtgo.
i shall continue later, gtgo.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
bon voyage
dear don has juz departed for china, so i hav taken over the duty to keep our blog alive and continue entertaining the fellow viewers.
erh, what to say?oya.im moving to RIB soon. on 26th Dec. pretty soon, huh? for me, its sort of bless. finally i dun need to wake up so early every morning and travel by MRT. u know? this whole year, i arrived to school everyday with my shirt soaked in sweat due to the rush from MRT station to school.
but the food in RIB sucks as i heard and i am pretty sure about the rumour. also, my rooming arrangement quite sucks as well. but im trying to change room and stay with hongjiang, if possible. haha, at least i won't be killed when i am sleeping. heehee.
talk about SAT. my progress on the word list still stops at A. sigh. hopeless. but i must get 2300 in the first time. no matter how much time and effort i have to put in! cause my co-ogl juz got another 2320 after zhang qiao's gal friend! haha. and i heard the a bw guy scored full marks! are they really human being! f^*k!
have an argument with my parents today! sigh. about taiwan. i juz said that i dun care whether taiwan is a country or not and my father was ranging! asked me where my national pride is and hav i been staying too close to some taiwanese? sigh.
nope, dad. i learnt that from don tan. but seriously, what s so important about it???
life is tough!
going to sentosa again tomorrow! but with my parents, cause they are leaving soon.
erh, what to say?oya.im moving to RIB soon. on 26th Dec. pretty soon, huh? for me, its sort of bless. finally i dun need to wake up so early every morning and travel by MRT. u know? this whole year, i arrived to school everyday with my shirt soaked in sweat due to the rush from MRT station to school.
but the food in RIB sucks as i heard and i am pretty sure about the rumour. also, my rooming arrangement quite sucks as well. but im trying to change room and stay with hongjiang, if possible. haha, at least i won't be killed when i am sleeping. heehee.
talk about SAT. my progress on the word list still stops at A. sigh. hopeless. but i must get 2300 in the first time. no matter how much time and effort i have to put in! cause my co-ogl juz got another 2320 after zhang qiao's gal friend! haha. and i heard the a bw guy scored full marks! are they really human being! f^*k!
have an argument with my parents today! sigh. about taiwan. i juz said that i dun care whether taiwan is a country or not and my father was ranging! asked me where my national pride is and hav i been staying too close to some taiwanese? sigh.
nope, dad. i learnt that from don tan. but seriously, what s so important about it???
life is tough!
going to sentosa again tomorrow! but with my parents, cause they are leaving soon.
Friday, December 21, 2007
her perfect body
it's with little consolation that i find out that i am not taking china eastern. im taking china airlines. apparently it has a wee better safety record. but with china, u never know whether they is bluff. and we be beat.
the flight is be 0815 +8GMT. i will be in the airport 2 hrs earlier, and the sky isnt bright yet. doesnt help that tomorrow is the winter solstice. but then ar, i dont think thats very big deal in singapore. except sesame glutinous rice balls, maybe.
i wanted to do some mugging, but i slacked off the past few days. yesterday i amused myself watching korban on youtube. i find korban really amusing. especially when u slash the animal's throat halfway across, in the process opening its windpipe and cutting some bits of jugular veins.
and then dump the poor beast on some groundsheet for it to bleed to death. and struggle, and bleed, and try to stand up, and fall, and bleed, and bleat. for a good 2 mins at least. bleat, bleat, bleat. not bah bah bah.
and u say, 'tais toi, pauvre bete!'
hehe. well its a good deed. u kill and bleed these animals, so that the poor may have their fill of meat once a year. septic shock, agony, till the blood drips dry. and curried rib eye.
but i will be no hypocrite. i do eat meat. and i think kambing soup can taste great. i hears that the mosque at clementi performs korban. the one near my old pathetic hdb flat. yupp, apparently my mom saw the sacrifice before. excursion next year.
hehe.
the flight is be 0815 +8GMT. i will be in the airport 2 hrs earlier, and the sky isnt bright yet. doesnt help that tomorrow is the winter solstice. but then ar, i dont think thats very big deal in singapore. except sesame glutinous rice balls, maybe.
i wanted to do some mugging, but i slacked off the past few days. yesterday i amused myself watching korban on youtube. i find korban really amusing. especially when u slash the animal's throat halfway across, in the process opening its windpipe and cutting some bits of jugular veins.
and then dump the poor beast on some groundsheet for it to bleed to death. and struggle, and bleed, and try to stand up, and fall, and bleed, and bleat. for a good 2 mins at least. bleat, bleat, bleat. not bah bah bah.
and u say, 'tais toi, pauvre bete!'
hehe. well its a good deed. u kill and bleed these animals, so that the poor may have their fill of meat once a year. septic shock, agony, till the blood drips dry. and curried rib eye.
but i will be no hypocrite. i do eat meat. and i think kambing soup can taste great. i hears that the mosque at clementi performs korban. the one near my old pathetic hdb flat. yupp, apparently my mom saw the sacrifice before. excursion next year.
hehe.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
instant pleasure
hey, dude.
if u die on the way to china, i will be sad.
but please make sure my book is safe.
i will be more upset if it is gone. heehee.
if u die on the way to china, i will be sad.
but please make sure my book is safe.
i will be more upset if it is gone. heehee.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
just give me sex whenever i want it
i cant live without a maid.
its been slightly over 4 days without a maid and im foaming. i have to clear up after myself. my cups wont just disappear from my computer table. plates wont just disappear from my study. fruits dont slice themselves and drinks dont pour themselves.
clothes dont wash themselves. so today i decided to find out how to use a washing machine. after 30 mins i found the manual, and within 5 minutes i gave up trying to understand. anyway even if i understand whats init it would take me another 30 mins to find the soap powder, 20 mins to find the softener and after that eternity to find a dry scoop so that the bloody powder wont turn into rock hard lumps.
so we will all live in whatever clothes we have left.
the house is sodof getting filthy. i found out how difficult it is to clean my glass dining table so that it sparkles and theres not soap scum marks. i still cant do it, btw.
and my fucking deuter is still mossy.
anyway going to china soon. hehe. im confused what airline im flying.
if im flying SQ or SIA, then all is mostly well. if i am flying china eastern, then, er, in the very likely case that i should die in the sky, zhenan ur SAT prep book will be burnt with me over the south china sea.
its been slightly over 4 days without a maid and im foaming. i have to clear up after myself. my cups wont just disappear from my computer table. plates wont just disappear from my study. fruits dont slice themselves and drinks dont pour themselves.
clothes dont wash themselves. so today i decided to find out how to use a washing machine. after 30 mins i found the manual, and within 5 minutes i gave up trying to understand. anyway even if i understand whats init it would take me another 30 mins to find the soap powder, 20 mins to find the softener and after that eternity to find a dry scoop so that the bloody powder wont turn into rock hard lumps.
so we will all live in whatever clothes we have left.
the house is sodof getting filthy. i found out how difficult it is to clean my glass dining table so that it sparkles and theres not soap scum marks. i still cant do it, btw.
and my fucking deuter is still mossy.
anyway going to china soon. hehe. im confused what airline im flying.
if im flying SQ or SIA, then all is mostly well. if i am flying china eastern, then, er, in the very likely case that i should die in the sky, zhenan ur SAT prep book will be burnt with me over the south china sea.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
LIFT
today heard from daniel, LIFT. Life Is Fucking Tough. True. dry run 2 was tiring cause got a lot of og stuff to do. the third ogl is okay although there were really quite some comments about him from my friends. Although he is too environmental-friendly,(heehee,he actually emailed the whole oteamer group to remind everyone to bring their own utensils cause it may conserve the environment.)but i found it ok. that is what he think is right and what people ought to do in nature. tomorrow is another tough day, gotta go sentosa again! freak!
first day not mugging with don, sianzzzz. almost no one to talk to.
LIFT
first day not mugging with don, sianzzzz. almost no one to talk to.
LIFT
Monday, December 17, 2007
marilyn merlot
that is one funky bottle of wine.
studying was unproductive. zhenan was being himself. i was reading about sook ching and all and i actually sympathized with the japs who were executed. lol seriously. the whole war crimes trial was merely victor's justice with the prosecutor, the judge and the jury all rolled in one. the atmosphere of the trials were just disgusting, were a mere sham of the sanctity of the courts.
some of these people might have stuck electrodes to boobs or bamboos into holes, but everyone did it. argumentum ad populem, but if these individual soldiers didnt do it, they risk being whooped by their superior officers. apparently the imperial army was a sadist shack, and superiors punch, slap, kick inferiors. many of the soldiers garrisoned in sgp fought through china and were battle hardened. the chinese there killed their brethens, so it is hard not to expect them to act in such an irrational manner. many of them are conscripts, and not in the right frame of mind and wont follow the way of the samurai and the code of honor and what not. and seriously, for some of the high ranking officers, i dont believe they had tacitly approved of the carnage.
rape of nanking was heinous, but chiang kai shek also killed the families of suspected communist sympathisers. his own people. yet, the world didnt really care. yupp commies, deserve to die, but it seems like it is generally acceptable to kill your own people cos that's home affairs and none of anyones business. think idi amin, think sese mobutu seko, think maozedong, think stalin.
but it is hard to draw the line, i think. where do u draw the line to prevent some nation from harming herself viz a nation being herself? cultural differences, but how far should we go to respect them, and should we impose our cultural ways on others? now killing jews is sod of questionable. but like, suttee, has been practised since time immemorial.
yesterday at aarons wasnt that good, cos we didnt really mix. lenny was being the manly scouty lenny, starting the fire and doing all the other man stuff.
tomorrow is be slacking and packing, cos
IM GOING TO CHINA!
studying was unproductive. zhenan was being himself. i was reading about sook ching and all and i actually sympathized with the japs who were executed. lol seriously. the whole war crimes trial was merely victor's justice with the prosecutor, the judge and the jury all rolled in one. the atmosphere of the trials were just disgusting, were a mere sham of the sanctity of the courts.
some of these people might have stuck electrodes to boobs or bamboos into holes, but everyone did it. argumentum ad populem, but if these individual soldiers didnt do it, they risk being whooped by their superior officers. apparently the imperial army was a sadist shack, and superiors punch, slap, kick inferiors. many of the soldiers garrisoned in sgp fought through china and were battle hardened. the chinese there killed their brethens, so it is hard not to expect them to act in such an irrational manner. many of them are conscripts, and not in the right frame of mind and wont follow the way of the samurai and the code of honor and what not. and seriously, for some of the high ranking officers, i dont believe they had tacitly approved of the carnage.
rape of nanking was heinous, but chiang kai shek also killed the families of suspected communist sympathisers. his own people. yet, the world didnt really care. yupp commies, deserve to die, but it seems like it is generally acceptable to kill your own people cos that's home affairs and none of anyones business. think idi amin, think sese mobutu seko, think maozedong, think stalin.
but it is hard to draw the line, i think. where do u draw the line to prevent some nation from harming herself viz a nation being herself? cultural differences, but how far should we go to respect them, and should we impose our cultural ways on others? now killing jews is sod of questionable. but like, suttee, has been practised since time immemorial.
yesterday at aarons wasnt that good, cos we didnt really mix. lenny was being the manly scouty lenny, starting the fire and doing all the other man stuff.
tomorrow is be slacking and packing, cos
IM GOING TO CHINA!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
i. need. a life.
today i havent done any mugging. today a typical saturday. the week has been fairly productive. i did some mugging, although i still know no shit of physics that i had set myself out to do. by monday chemistry would be done, and then i would be slacking at home preparing for my trip to china and more.
i need to get a life. all that i do in my spare time is surf wikipedia and porn. im now sick of both. and i should do less of both, cos my eyesight is really, really bad now.
bah.
barbecue at aarons tomorrow. see all u coolios there tmr.
i need to get a life. all that i do in my spare time is surf wikipedia and porn. im now sick of both. and i should do less of both, cos my eyesight is really, really bad now.
bah.
barbecue at aarons tomorrow. see all u coolios there tmr.
Friday, December 14, 2007
cogito
1. i read that the public service division is be upping the compensation of top civil servants and ministers between 4 n 21% come 2008. well i cant exactly say that this is right or wrong, good or bad.
in tough times, and good times as well, we understand we need to retain top talent in the civil service. fair enough. civil servants also deserve a similar remuneration to those in the private sector. i will let this pass.
but so far it seems like the pay of the top civil servants have increased the most. they know they need to retain talent, so they pay retentions to keep themselves in her service.
it seems to me suspiciously like the management blackmailing itself to stay. it seems like it came straight out of dilbert. the catbert in me wants to purr in delight.
2. thailand, burma, malaysia. yupp, asean is be becoming da moz happening 'hood.
i dont really know much about thailand because theres no way for a non-elite but very caring person to know whether thaksin was actually corrupt and mismanaged the country or the military was misguided or self serving. although from the external pov thaksin must have done a pretty job because the baht grew strong and the economy wasnt fledging from chuan leekpais time.
myanmar is really severely mismanaged. u may already know that i am all guts, no heart, but i actually felt for the burmese people. on one hand, the cynic that is my gut (and its eminence) feels that they have never experienced our kind of life so they dont know what shit they are actually in, but having a depraved few abusing the general populance even after fattening itself so much fleecing on so little belonging to so many, i am stirred.
but burma is tricky business. i dont see aungsansuukyi as a good leader in peacetime. her claim to fame was aung san, undeniably. not purely her own merit. much like the nehru-gandhi family. and it is hard to divorce the individual soldier from the burmese. these soldiers are the sons of the barmans who have had little choice but to serve the self serving. if other countries just happy happy invade the country it is easy to foresee more suffering for the people.
malaysia is really screwed up. now im not a person particularly bothered by discrimination. in fact i actively engage in such activities. but how malaysia has managed to get away with decades of racial discrimination confounds me. i agree that racial apportionment might have prevented the significant minorities from dumping the people of the land in the dust. but this whole policy is just too harrison bergernon-ish. instead of helping the people of the land, the emigre are disadvantaged because the amount available cannot be increased, and because of less able management perhaps because of the requirement of having the people of the land in power.
3. the idealist in me hopes that hindraf can succeed. that the world can step in to stop the nonsense that is umno, the nonsense that is the current unfair, unequitable status quo. but of course, the pragmatist in me tells me that if malaysia is rid of her ills then singapore is surely and very quickly screwed.
maybe singapore might fissure, from the rich poor gapp. although i actually find little problem with the singapore taxation system, maybe something should be done for the lower income group. though this is a tricky issue. while we can concede that decisions that led them to the rut were made on imperfect information, clearly there is no decision in this real world that has been made with perfect knowledge. society has not been kind to them, but society is not to blame.
but society had better help these people. if they have nothing, they have nothing to lose, and they become desperate, and the peace and tranquil and good property valuations would all be lost. from the pragmatic side, it is like protection money that might be extortionate from the general society to them, and we better do it.
4. today is shidas last day at work. so zhenan and i celebrated at ajisen in bishan, in his absence.
5. studying today was unproductive.
in tough times, and good times as well, we understand we need to retain top talent in the civil service. fair enough. civil servants also deserve a similar remuneration to those in the private sector. i will let this pass.
but so far it seems like the pay of the top civil servants have increased the most. they know they need to retain talent, so they pay retentions to keep themselves in her service.
it seems to me suspiciously like the management blackmailing itself to stay. it seems like it came straight out of dilbert. the catbert in me wants to purr in delight.
2. thailand, burma, malaysia. yupp, asean is be becoming da moz happening 'hood.
i dont really know much about thailand because theres no way for a non-elite but very caring person to know whether thaksin was actually corrupt and mismanaged the country or the military was misguided or self serving. although from the external pov thaksin must have done a pretty job because the baht grew strong and the economy wasnt fledging from chuan leekpais time.
myanmar is really severely mismanaged. u may already know that i am all guts, no heart, but i actually felt for the burmese people. on one hand, the cynic that is my gut (and its eminence) feels that they have never experienced our kind of life so they dont know what shit they are actually in, but having a depraved few abusing the general populance even after fattening itself so much fleecing on so little belonging to so many, i am stirred.
but burma is tricky business. i dont see aungsansuukyi as a good leader in peacetime. her claim to fame was aung san, undeniably. not purely her own merit. much like the nehru-gandhi family. and it is hard to divorce the individual soldier from the burmese. these soldiers are the sons of the barmans who have had little choice but to serve the self serving. if other countries just happy happy invade the country it is easy to foresee more suffering for the people.
malaysia is really screwed up. now im not a person particularly bothered by discrimination. in fact i actively engage in such activities. but how malaysia has managed to get away with decades of racial discrimination confounds me. i agree that racial apportionment might have prevented the significant minorities from dumping the people of the land in the dust. but this whole policy is just too harrison bergernon-ish. instead of helping the people of the land, the emigre are disadvantaged because the amount available cannot be increased, and because of less able management perhaps because of the requirement of having the people of the land in power.
3. the idealist in me hopes that hindraf can succeed. that the world can step in to stop the nonsense that is umno, the nonsense that is the current unfair, unequitable status quo. but of course, the pragmatist in me tells me that if malaysia is rid of her ills then singapore is surely and very quickly screwed.
maybe singapore might fissure, from the rich poor gapp. although i actually find little problem with the singapore taxation system, maybe something should be done for the lower income group. though this is a tricky issue. while we can concede that decisions that led them to the rut were made on imperfect information, clearly there is no decision in this real world that has been made with perfect knowledge. society has not been kind to them, but society is not to blame.
but society had better help these people. if they have nothing, they have nothing to lose, and they become desperate, and the peace and tranquil and good property valuations would all be lost. from the pragmatic side, it is like protection money that might be extortionate from the general society to them, and we better do it.
4. today is shidas last day at work. so zhenan and i celebrated at ajisen in bishan, in his absence.
5. studying today was unproductive.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
cobra heart
today was unproductive.
i was reading comics in the morning cos somebody was late. somebody. i wont say who. but he knows who he is.
and then i tried to mug org chem, but it seemed alot like energetics and chem bonding i got sick of it that i started talking cock and looking for abusive pictures in the library.
and i stuck all of his coins together in esoteric spontaneity. or isit spontaneous esotericism. bahh whatever.
we did an SAT paper each today. it started to look good. maybe the paper was easy, yea.
i went to make glasses today. yupp. im ownage. this is my 3rd pair in a year after i broke my last pair. this pair seems to me to be quite cool, but my definition of coolness is well out.
people who drive pacific rimmers like sportscars should just fuck off man. please dun try to handle a proton gen 2 like a lotus elise. yupp i know lotus is now owned by proton, but i dont think her input into the gen 2 is that great ya? skidding over 2m is not that cool.
and please, darkening your lights and adding spoilers and sideskirts and lowering your suspension doesnt make ur impreza or lancer fierce. and exhaust notes only sound nice on lamborghinis and ferraris, thank u very much.
i was reading comics in the morning cos somebody was late. somebody. i wont say who. but he knows who he is.
and then i tried to mug org chem, but it seemed alot like energetics and chem bonding i got sick of it that i started talking cock and looking for abusive pictures in the library.
and i stuck all of his coins together in esoteric spontaneity. or isit spontaneous esotericism. bahh whatever.
we did an SAT paper each today. it started to look good. maybe the paper was easy, yea.
i went to make glasses today. yupp. im ownage. this is my 3rd pair in a year after i broke my last pair. this pair seems to me to be quite cool, but my definition of coolness is well out.
people who drive pacific rimmers like sportscars should just fuck off man. please dun try to handle a proton gen 2 like a lotus elise. yupp i know lotus is now owned by proton, but i dont think her input into the gen 2 is that great ya? skidding over 2m is not that cool.
and please, darkening your lights and adding spoilers and sideskirts and lowering your suspension doesnt make ur impreza or lancer fierce. and exhaust notes only sound nice on lamborghinis and ferraris, thank u very much.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
dont give up a zhang ziyi for a hyj
[alright if yesterday was bad, today was worse. fuck la. 2010? on an easier book ya? like math got so many mistakes? 3 in a row? oh pleeeeeeze. well if i wanted to kid myself its between 2010 and 2240. but NO! no fucking kidding myself. 2010 is a fucking loser score and im going to change that. go rape princeton, barron, collegeboard and kaplan hard. yah! thats hardcore pimping yo!]
well tonight was about dinner with zhenan and his parents at Pariss in marina square. the food was subpar for the price paid.
zhenans parents are really nice and really frank and open about him. told us a lot of stuffs about him. well, zhenan, dont be stupid. if she looks like zhang ziyi, go for her. shes hot, shes rich (and shes the only daughter, like duh), shes not as smart as u, shes shorter than u, what more can u ask, dude?
ok maybe she is prc, but lc and yj are also prcs. beauty is only skin deep. beauty is ephermeral. but thats not important. at least she starts with a positive integer man. zhang ziyi is how hott la. superficial, yes, but please, who cares?
treat her as a friend u say. well start fantasizing, like, NOW. haha
alright. indigestion.
goodnight world.
well tonight was about dinner with zhenan and his parents at Pariss in marina square. the food was subpar for the price paid.
zhenans parents are really nice and really frank and open about him. told us a lot of stuffs about him. well, zhenan, dont be stupid. if she looks like zhang ziyi, go for her. shes hot, shes rich (and shes the only daughter, like duh), shes not as smart as u, shes shorter than u, what more can u ask, dude?
ok maybe she is prc, but lc and yj are also prcs. beauty is only skin deep. beauty is ephermeral. but thats not important. at least she starts with a positive integer man. zhang ziyi is how hott la. superficial, yes, but please, who cares?
treat her as a friend u say. well start fantasizing, like, NOW. haha
alright. indigestion.
goodnight world.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
i love internet
finally i got my internet back! life rox! but does it mean that another nights of slacking and wandering around online wasting time?probably yes. SAT is really still progressless. the 3500 word list is still completely new! i just dun hav the motivation to start mugging like a DON.
but that is not right! should never lose to those losers! they have signed up for SATs also,but i should totally own their asses!
to stupid don tan!
screw u, dun want to send me the photos!
but that is not right! should never lose to those losers! they have signed up for SATs also,but i should totally own their asses!
to stupid don tan!
screw u, dun want to send me the photos!
barbecue your balls
yuppyupp
2100 on a practice test?
please? can go to what university?
zhenan's school for friends of prcs?
foam foam foam
day 4 muz chiong SAT damn hard.
break the resolve of SAT by breaking the spine of the book.
alright.
2100 on a practice test?
please? can go to what university?
zhenan's school for friends of prcs?
foam foam foam
day 4 muz chiong SAT damn hard.
break the resolve of SAT by breaking the spine of the book.
alright.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
not jekyll, just Hyde
well i havent started. quite hard to define what i learnt and what i have contributed. hehe.
well if my supervisors were honest they would write that i have been a total slacker producing substandard work absolutely befitting of their substandard outfit and commensurate with my substandard pay and their substandard office, doing research from 4 sources and then citing the research of these sources. and deflecting work or producing work so crap, like in the research for sgp companies in india, which i simply ripped off from a 2005 edition of ies work (which was ripped off the indian embassy by ie staff and passed off as their work, btw) that they decide to give me work im interested in doing.
and that i kept touring the office and destroying things along the way, my temp pass (yanked the clip), my subcubicle dwellings upholstery (was all black from the polish, and one piece of cloth was ripped off), the waste paperbasket (was dented from compression), my laptop (i kept opening and banging against it, the CD drive couldnt close properly), generally anything i could get my hands on.
wasting resources, printing 1 ream of paper, and dumping them in packets at empty cubicles after i was done, using post-it stickers by the block (i used 6 pads), stapling like everydays sunday, forming paperclips into chains, not switching off the laptop and letting it standby over the weekends, using paper cups meant for VIPs (but my father said they served in proper cups when he met the Dy CEO), using stacks of serviettes in throwing games, squirting the disinfectant all over the place, yep, thats me.
raeding wikipedia instead of doing proper research, finding out about tactical warfare in WWII when doing work on the pakistan coup, reading about Peccavi instead of doing proper research on the states in india, reading LTTE propaganda instead of researching on wickremsinghe and checking up universities before being disappointed by the bleak future.
sitting around shidas area, disrupting his work and irritating the people in the vicinity with our chatter, maybe pissing people off with snide remarks about civil servants, going for lunch early and returning late (although this is common practice), chatting on gmail with zhenan and samuel cos msn wouldnt work, taking mc and leave on whim and generally messing around.
im the employee and coworker from hell. fear me.
well if my supervisors were honest they would write that i have been a total slacker producing substandard work absolutely befitting of their substandard outfit and commensurate with my substandard pay and their substandard office, doing research from 4 sources and then citing the research of these sources. and deflecting work or producing work so crap, like in the research for sgp companies in india, which i simply ripped off from a 2005 edition of ies work (which was ripped off the indian embassy by ie staff and passed off as their work, btw) that they decide to give me work im interested in doing.
and that i kept touring the office and destroying things along the way, my temp pass (yanked the clip), my subcubicle dwellings upholstery (was all black from the polish, and one piece of cloth was ripped off), the waste paperbasket (was dented from compression), my laptop (i kept opening and banging against it, the CD drive couldnt close properly), generally anything i could get my hands on.
wasting resources, printing 1 ream of paper, and dumping them in packets at empty cubicles after i was done, using post-it stickers by the block (i used 6 pads), stapling like everydays sunday, forming paperclips into chains, not switching off the laptop and letting it standby over the weekends, using paper cups meant for VIPs (but my father said they served in proper cups when he met the Dy CEO), using stacks of serviettes in throwing games, squirting the disinfectant all over the place, yep, thats me.
raeding wikipedia instead of doing proper research, finding out about tactical warfare in WWII when doing work on the pakistan coup, reading about Peccavi instead of doing proper research on the states in india, reading LTTE propaganda instead of researching on wickremsinghe and checking up universities before being disappointed by the bleak future.
sitting around shidas area, disrupting his work and irritating the people in the vicinity with our chatter, maybe pissing people off with snide remarks about civil servants, going for lunch early and returning late (although this is common practice), chatting on gmail with zhenan and samuel cos msn wouldnt work, taking mc and leave on whim and generally messing around.
im the employee and coworker from hell. fear me.
Friday, December 7, 2007
1
today was day 1 of the december holidays mugging scheme.
not supposed to be hardcore or gay, just getting some tutorials done and some SAT in ordre.
it was a failure.
took like most of the day finishing chapter 10?
and still copying zhenan when im too lazy?
go thai express for lunch, then get distracted and go play some ps?
then go gaigai?
alright.
mug monday better be better
reflections NAO
not supposed to be hardcore or gay, just getting some tutorials done and some SAT in ordre.
it was a failure.
took like most of the day finishing chapter 10?
and still copying zhenan when im too lazy?
go thai express for lunch, then get distracted and go play some ps?
then go gaigai?
alright.
mug monday better be better
reflections NAO
Thursday, December 6, 2007
enchante
it's over. my 1 month stint with ies south asia is over.
well, im glad it is, cos its been crap. i learnt nothing, than how to slack and not get caught, how to keep koping papercups and contribute to global warming, how to use 10 pieces of serviettes everytime u go to the toilet.
it was unpleasant, and the pay was low. it was tolerable cos shida is damn fun to talk to. keep going to his table and all. in the course of the month, i learnt a lot about uni aspirations, crushes and activities of couples from his class as well as the torment that is srp. and perfectionism and all.
i learnt to wake up my idea, that they actually sort people into classes by results, and 6t is not only not 4p, but is practically a class for losers. so it is not a good gauge of standard.
alright. im going out with zhenan, hopefully can mug chapt 10 & 11 as well as some SAT. btw i got into acjc test center. dunno how. and tonight i shall do my proper reflections on my internship. i lie better at night.
well, im glad it is, cos its been crap. i learnt nothing, than how to slack and not get caught, how to keep koping papercups and contribute to global warming, how to use 10 pieces of serviettes everytime u go to the toilet.
it was unpleasant, and the pay was low. it was tolerable cos shida is damn fun to talk to. keep going to his table and all. in the course of the month, i learnt a lot about uni aspirations, crushes and activities of couples from his class as well as the torment that is srp. and perfectionism and all.
i learnt to wake up my idea, that they actually sort people into classes by results, and 6t is not only not 4p, but is practically a class for losers. so it is not a good gauge of standard.
alright. im going out with zhenan, hopefully can mug chapt 10 & 11 as well as some SAT. btw i got into acjc test center. dunno how. and tonight i shall do my proper reflections on my internship. i lie better at night.
Monday, December 3, 2007
integer vitae scelerisque purus
the previous posts were depressing. the inability to sign up for the SAT, the impending doom that is my A levels, my bad leadership. a reflection on the disappointing life that i have led.
the posts were personal,
the posts were spiteful.
the prose (if they can even be so indulged) spoke of
nothing, but angst
and pent up rage,
of a person so confused,
and left behind,
by the throngs of humanity
surging forth.
my journey, marathon that is life,
whatever imagery used
looks bleak
dark, disgusting,
dreary, depressing,
dismal, daunting.
(see i can already pass my SATs man! i didnt have to use a thesaurus)
cheer up!- says zhenan
i appreciate it
but the reality of my life
is saddening.
im a failure
im a spiteful failure
im a detestable and spiteful failure.
so i hope a hope
to tomorrow
that
nothing. byebye.
the posts were personal,
the posts were spiteful.
the prose (if they can even be so indulged) spoke of
nothing, but angst
and pent up rage,
of a person so confused,
and left behind,
by the throngs of humanity
surging forth.
my journey, marathon that is life,
whatever imagery used
looks bleak
dark, disgusting,
dreary, depressing,
dismal, daunting.
(see i can already pass my SATs man! i didnt have to use a thesaurus)
cheer up!- says zhenan
i appreciate it
but the reality of my life
is saddening.
im a failure
im a spiteful failure
im a detestable and spiteful failure.
so i hope a hope
to tomorrow
that
nothing. byebye.
He's a Loser
this morning was quite productive, definitely more so than lounging around the vermin infested grounds of the office, soaking up the miasma, eavesdropping into mommas giving mental sums and getting sick.
i finished packing my stuff, and im proud to say that my files are now in order. i have managed to at least pack 80% of my stuffs in the right place, which is a rare achievement on my part. ive separated the files with dividers so that i can refer to the chapters damn quickly.
and i removed the stuffs from the shelf by my table. my maid is going to wipe it. by the way, ikea sucks. never buy their mdf board furniture, they change color. da vinci is still much better. or get some real wood from indonesia, not expensive, really. maybe 50% more than an equivalent piece from ikea, and maybe a slightly less flashy design, but it is real wood and it is hardier. here i digress.
anyway as i remove stuff to clean, i dunno how they get so dusty anyway, i chanced upon my report book from sec 1. yep, the small one, not the hardcore rp A4 size one.
im quite a loser now, my life is a fuck and my results are in a rut. but if u were to know the don from sec 1, the real loser, then the don today is not only much improved, but an exemplar of brilliance. lets here savor what teachers had to say about don over the years. the more interesting ones of course. the more hurtful ones that make me swear revenge. of course.
TeoCM for Math: Don is capable of doing better.
alright nothing very bad about this one. i really did damn badly for the test, scoring like 66%, just a hair over the 64% that was the class mean.
Computer studies, by shar0nxu, haha the best: NA. Assignments not handed in.
oops, like i care about com studies. i pride myself for my identity of being a com knownothing. just like not having a handphone used to be part of juanhes identity. hah. html can just go and die man. com studies lessons are for sleeping after swimming or playing retarded games like little fighter II sucker! fuck off fatass! haha
Computer studies, again: Don, you need to put in more effort in your studies. haha.
well there was a class test, and i scored 27/100. which is quite a fantastic score, by any standard. lol. i think i even impressed myself lah, no one else in class got lower than me, i think. spectacular. haha.
History by doreen: More effort needed in assignments
i got a 47 for coursework, which is a fail. haha. quite impressive. i remember i forgot all about that stupid what's around RI piece of junk. so u are a martian or something, then u land in bishan in AD 3000 and what u will find. so i copied directly from syf, haha, and to make it less obvious i switched the order without looking at the titles in the boxes. so u would find the massive ri crest in the canteen, ten year series in a field and some shit. eh good attempt ok. quite creative leh, more creative than ur stupid martian.
doreen screwed my life up. in sec 1 she was my ft, and she kept denying me opportunities outside class. so i was totally marginalized. i wanted to switch cca, she refused to switch for me. she didnt bother writing a recommendation for anything for me.
dont let me see her in some 3rd world country. or shes gonna get a hurt, real bad.
anyway i finally woke up at the end of sec 1 and raped the history and geography tests, getting 80 for each, which was quite an achievement for a loser like me. yupp.
in sec 1 i was a total loser, getting raped from everything. the only thing good was IRS, cos my grp had imba people and i totally slacked off. i got some hardcore good score for the year and i felt quite bad for making damn work so hard to cover me. haha. so in sec 4, by chance we formed back as a group of 6 and i hardcored the report. hopefully i made up for it.
other than that, sec 1 was a total misadventure. there was no clear end to the orientation for sec 1s, so i played all the way through. i didnt study for any class test, so i screwed them all up big time, i didnt pay attention in class, but this is usual, up until today.
i was some happy boy. at 1:35 exact i would hop on 156 and get home and surf porn. nope, no studying for me. and somehow in sec 1 i was under the impression that ri curriculum was so different from the norm, i didnt bother to do assessments or ten year series and the like. and in ri u know how pathetic the worksheets are.
but i tried at the end. i mugged like a dick. but the last spurt was not enough to give me good results. when the scores were totalled i actually got an average of 70.6%, which is actually damn lousy for a sec 1. half the world got over 75%, so i was more or less a straggler.
jokes, in sec 1 i got only 1 A1. the irony of all, it is french. and that A1 was 75.0 exact. what the fuck lah. thats my highest score. im beginning to emphatize with some people in my class this year. i feel for them, especially when i have been in such deep shit once in my life.
Sec 2
KohBH for English: Don will do well if he puts in effort.
well, well i remember he didnt touch coursework the whole year and droned on and on about the bee gees, his loser hyundai and the art work of some loser artists. quite enjoyable to listen, i must admit, but what his person, lessons and his attitude towards life is brilliantly and succinctly summed up here:
I'm right and you are wrong. I know it and you know it.
yupp, by the great man himself. this is the way he responds to anyone who dares to question the thoughts that flow from his half empty coconut. the other half is slush.
well from sec 2 onwards i started to buck up, so the comments generally became positive. the only loser comments i got were, don doesnt participate in class and the like.
sec 3 was a new life for me. i moved over to 3p, and i guess it is this association with hardcore muggers that helped shape who i am today, the competitive loser. they mugged hard, and i was inclined to mug hard to. they mugged harder, and i was inclined to mug harder as well.
by sec 3 the don of yore, of sec 1 was really a thing of the past, i guess, no more the fucker who doesnt hand in homework or doesnt study. results werent stellar, but ok.
comments were nice, especially by yuen, who mentioned in sec 3 that don writes convincingly, for geography, and don is a gifted writer, for social studies. i guess i found my ability to write argumentative during this time.
but the fuck hard sucker nair had to screw up a nice comments sheet with: not weak, but needs greater effort and concentration in class. preparation for assignments is ok, though.
fuck! this is a fucking report card! ur not supposed to write this kinda trivial and disgusting shit in it! and seriously, i didnt think i did so badly to warrant such a bad comment lah! fuck. i got a 78 for english, which was wayy above the 73.3 level average. and i did try to pay attention lar. knn u stupid ******.
alright, in sec 4, all was well and good, cos malani da shit didnt bother to write. haha. i remember a disgusting first encounter with her when i was in sec 2, but thats for another time.
so the don today is fucked up loser, but the don today, is much improved.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Shit Happens, Again.
fuck
finally when i decided
to sign up for the SAT
they say they cannot find me a
fucking place
for jan 26
shit they say look back in 5 working days to
see if i can be billeted somewhere
but chances are i will
be no where
walau eh, i still have like 3 more days to 5th dec, the deadline
fuck lah.
looks like next year is going to be a tough year
and im going to screw up my SAT and my A levels.
a review of my commitments next year
A Level
the most important of my fangled commitments, screw this up and im fucking doomed. might not even end up with a spot at nus. im already well on my way, scoring a string of Bs and screwing up over half of the SPAs we have taken. my hopeless pw adds to the problem.
SAT
i really wanna get out of singapore and go to a proper university overseas. looks quite bleak already, with all the real pros aiming for even the wussier universities. lanchiau. i hope few people are interested in studying economics & engineering, although i doubt it.
My CCA
just messed up the farewell. yupp it was a group effort, the screwing up, and reflects pretty much the dismal state of the cca. knn, from the way it looks, apart from the 1 hour session, looks like i would be preparing for it like at least 2 hours a week.
Intercultural & Game Theory
yupp so my saturdays are all to be spent in smu wanking around doing shit. and challenging the undergrads. im going to get owned damn badly and my h3 will be like some fuck next year. knn lanchiau.
NAPFA
this is also pressing. must fucking get a silver. i dont wanna be a soldier so early. argh!!
Life is depressing. the future looks abysmal. i can already see my failure, in a not too distant future. the result slips will be like blank. cos i get ungraded for everything. my cca will be total bullshit and members just wont come for loser discussions on loser topics that even the most loserish are unconcerned. i will get expelled from smu. my SAT will read 600. maybe even less. i might even forget that im called don. maybe too ashamed.
i foam.
but until then, i have decided to hardcore what remains of my holidays away. Alright! here's the plan. I have between 5th, my last day of work, and 22nd, my trip to china. so minus out like 4 days of weekends and 2 days of going out time, i have 11 days left.
cant do much with the 11 days. but the first 2 days i shall endeavor to pack my room and get my files in order so that mugging is be more conducive. and im left with 9 days.
In this 9 days, i will work hard at:
getting tutorial 10 & 11 in order, so that i may start on the righter foot next year. but chances are the tutorials would be in a mess cos ive lost everything above arithmetic to some evil haggard bitchy bastard and dunno what.
getting organic chem in order, so i can understand the lectures next year. yep, this is damn crucial, so that i can catch the slow pace next year before steaming ahead and on to the a levels.
study superposition. which i have no idea what the fuck it is about. guess im just going to get screwed damn badly for physics. again.
somehow pray that i get an A for econs and GP. the latter sounds less hard, but the former is a grande taske.
then next year, when everyone is happying with their OGs, crushing girls, painting flowers, preparing loser gifts, im going to hardcore mug! everyday! maybe for a start i mug till the library closes, then when orientation is over, maybe mug wif zhenan in school until my father picks me, perfect, cos he stays in RIB next year.
Mug damn hard.
fuck, then wheres the time to train for napfa?
alright, dont train, go in early by like 4 weeks. that 4 weeks might be hell, but that 4 weeks of shame and despair would be over in 4 weeks. but A level results will always stick with me, and impact whether i even get to go to nus or have to end up in some halfshit aussie university. then juz hardcore after a levels train so that im a fitter weakling and get silver during ns and juz own after that.
one step at a time!
thats the grand plan! yeah!
fuck im trying to be stoic and optimistic
but the realist in me, tells me to fuck off and stop this deceit. im going to break down soon. i want to jump.
finally when i decided
to sign up for the SAT
they say they cannot find me a
fucking place
for jan 26
shit they say look back in 5 working days to
see if i can be billeted somewhere
but chances are i will
be no where
walau eh, i still have like 3 more days to 5th dec, the deadline
fuck lah.
looks like next year is going to be a tough year
and im going to screw up my SAT and my A levels.
a review of my commitments next year
A Level
the most important of my fangled commitments, screw this up and im fucking doomed. might not even end up with a spot at nus. im already well on my way, scoring a string of Bs and screwing up over half of the SPAs we have taken. my hopeless pw adds to the problem.
SAT
i really wanna get out of singapore and go to a proper university overseas. looks quite bleak already, with all the real pros aiming for even the wussier universities. lanchiau. i hope few people are interested in studying economics & engineering, although i doubt it.
My CCA
just messed up the farewell. yupp it was a group effort, the screwing up, and reflects pretty much the dismal state of the cca. knn, from the way it looks, apart from the 1 hour session, looks like i would be preparing for it like at least 2 hours a week.
Intercultural & Game Theory
yupp so my saturdays are all to be spent in smu wanking around doing shit. and challenging the undergrads. im going to get owned damn badly and my h3 will be like some fuck next year. knn lanchiau.
NAPFA
this is also pressing. must fucking get a silver. i dont wanna be a soldier so early. argh!!
Life is depressing. the future looks abysmal. i can already see my failure, in a not too distant future. the result slips will be like blank. cos i get ungraded for everything. my cca will be total bullshit and members just wont come for loser discussions on loser topics that even the most loserish are unconcerned. i will get expelled from smu. my SAT will read 600. maybe even less. i might even forget that im called don. maybe too ashamed.
i foam.
but until then, i have decided to hardcore what remains of my holidays away. Alright! here's the plan. I have between 5th, my last day of work, and 22nd, my trip to china. so minus out like 4 days of weekends and 2 days of going out time, i have 11 days left.
cant do much with the 11 days. but the first 2 days i shall endeavor to pack my room and get my files in order so that mugging is be more conducive. and im left with 9 days.
In this 9 days, i will work hard at:
getting tutorial 10 & 11 in order, so that i may start on the righter foot next year. but chances are the tutorials would be in a mess cos ive lost everything above arithmetic to some evil haggard bitchy bastard and dunno what.
getting organic chem in order, so i can understand the lectures next year. yep, this is damn crucial, so that i can catch the slow pace next year before steaming ahead and on to the a levels.
study superposition. which i have no idea what the fuck it is about. guess im just going to get screwed damn badly for physics. again.
somehow pray that i get an A for econs and GP. the latter sounds less hard, but the former is a grande taske.
then next year, when everyone is happying with their OGs, crushing girls, painting flowers, preparing loser gifts, im going to hardcore mug! everyday! maybe for a start i mug till the library closes, then when orientation is over, maybe mug wif zhenan in school until my father picks me, perfect, cos he stays in RIB next year.
Mug damn hard.
fuck, then wheres the time to train for napfa?
alright, dont train, go in early by like 4 weeks. that 4 weeks might be hell, but that 4 weeks of shame and despair would be over in 4 weeks. but A level results will always stick with me, and impact whether i even get to go to nus or have to end up in some halfshit aussie university. then juz hardcore after a levels train so that im a fitter weakling and get silver during ns and juz own after that.
one step at a time!
thats the grand plan! yeah!
fuck im trying to be stoic and optimistic
but the realist in me, tells me to fuck off and stop this deceit. im going to break down soon. i want to jump.
all through the night, it's a celebration
well im finally feeling slightly better. somehow my ear has cleared itself quite a bit and the ringing is gone. so i had a good night of sleep. my nose isnt too blocked anymore.
much has transpired in this period that i was sick.
gmail is no more the exclusive invite only email. i remember it was over 2 years ago when i was invited to gmail by sean, i think. at that point each account only had 5 invites, and the account had to be active for a month to accrue 5 invites and thats it.
then soon enough it was inflated to 100, by then the whole of ri already had gmail accounts. apparently however, gmail accounts were nonexistent in my brothers school. but i invited him.
so now gmail is still beta, but it now has the stupid sign up button on the page, i think it might have been there since last week cos i was sick. anyway gmail is quite good as a backup storage for people like me (PLM) who dont know how to get an external harddrive or even load songs into the handphone properly lol.
i tried some SAT questions and i started foaming. most of the sections were freaking simple, but the section with the passages and asking u what the author is implying and what can u infer is some f. section 4, isit. yupp, now my confidence has shrunken to the size of a pingpongball from the size of a bugatti veyron previously. well it has no relation, but pardon me, im sick.
im a very lousy chair, making the previous chair organize his own farewell. but seriously this whole thing is fucked up. the officer-director just gave her word on behalf of the exco without any prior discussion. thats bad enough. to make things worse, she cant make it. screw it. and the vice has to go to the airport to send his friends off! wtf. i didnt know that would take the whole day. but i believe npcc n dunman qte impt to him and since he has been nice all along i decided against being guailan. but the previous chair is very nice and says he wants to have a j2 only event though, so it can be more Personal. heehee. wonder what that means.
well i was reading my email and i saw the intercultural communications AP, and they say its a H3. interesting. then to which subject is it attached? if its econs then i already have game theory, also by smu. but heck it. im just going to be the bastard and chope 2 places. if i even can, but i trust zhenan has indeed handed up the forms.
on the topic of zhenan, nothing. to zhenan, im free tomorrow. wanna go out? ehehe.
much has transpired in this period that i was sick.
gmail is no more the exclusive invite only email. i remember it was over 2 years ago when i was invited to gmail by sean, i think. at that point each account only had 5 invites, and the account had to be active for a month to accrue 5 invites and thats it.
then soon enough it was inflated to 100, by then the whole of ri already had gmail accounts. apparently however, gmail accounts were nonexistent in my brothers school. but i invited him.
so now gmail is still beta, but it now has the stupid sign up button on the page, i think it might have been there since last week cos i was sick. anyway gmail is quite good as a backup storage for people like me (PLM) who dont know how to get an external harddrive or even load songs into the handphone properly lol.
i tried some SAT questions and i started foaming. most of the sections were freaking simple, but the section with the passages and asking u what the author is implying and what can u infer is some f. section 4, isit. yupp, now my confidence has shrunken to the size of a pingpongball from the size of a bugatti veyron previously. well it has no relation, but pardon me, im sick.
im a very lousy chair, making the previous chair organize his own farewell. but seriously this whole thing is fucked up. the officer-director just gave her word on behalf of the exco without any prior discussion. thats bad enough. to make things worse, she cant make it. screw it. and the vice has to go to the airport to send his friends off! wtf. i didnt know that would take the whole day. but i believe npcc n dunman qte impt to him and since he has been nice all along i decided against being guailan. but the previous chair is very nice and says he wants to have a j2 only event though, so it can be more Personal. heehee. wonder what that means.
well i was reading my email and i saw the intercultural communications AP, and they say its a H3. interesting. then to which subject is it attached? if its econs then i already have game theory, also by smu. but heck it. im just going to be the bastard and chope 2 places. if i even can, but i trust zhenan has indeed handed up the forms.
on the topic of zhenan, nothing. to zhenan, im free tomorrow. wanna go out? ehehe.
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