im writhing away in pain.
my chest is collapsing into me and im not very sure how im supposed to make me feel better. the ventolin didnt exactly work at all. am i about to die? maybe i ran a little too hard for my weak asthma stricken mucus filled lungs to bear. 2:10 per round is the minimum speed i need to hit before the last round sprint to even get a D, but im not managing it well. the heart is willing, but the lungs arent. the chest aint.
if i should die today, then i wont have to mug for chemspa, for cts, for As. i dont need to prepare the news update, i dont need to prepare anymore sessions. i wont need to know my SAT score this thursday, or my pw score which apparently is to be out next week. if i should die today, i will die happy.
just as i cannot be sure that the sun will rise tomorrow as it had done today and yesterday and the day before and the day before the day before, since time immemorial, i cannot be sure that i will be freed from my shackles and i will roam freely once again.
so i have to go do my news update and settle the location of the next session.
if i dont come back again, then this will be the last goodbye. and the last hurrah.
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