puzzle fighter

i mark today in my calendar. as the SLACKEST DAY i have enjoyed since returning from my mc. it was so slack that i decided not to reschedule the physio that got accidentally cancelled even though it probably would have been fine for me to do so. i played puzzle fighter for most of the early part. i have improved much. i think i have gotten the hang of it. and i went over to 3Div to unlock isac cards with my friends and we had lunch there. they spammed desserts as if they had never seen desserts before. i met a friend i made in secondary school who was a pioneer over there. he related to me his sad life. which made me more thankful for the life i have been leading. at least i do not get barked at all day, and by people who are only as old as me, or who were once schoolmates. at least i do not have to book in at 2330 on every sunday and go outfield and get my long 4 torn up and covered in mud.

i spent the afternoon talking cock and playing pool and playing plants vs zombies. we could have left at 2 but i decided to stay to complete pvz. i was owning. even though its a really simple game. i enjoyed it much. because i enjoy winning. and i hardly win nowadays. so i treasure this rare time when i get to win. and then i watched a softcore movie in camp which was loaded on the inetpc used to scan for viruses. koreans have a cute way of making such videos. and it is good because it is the lead up to the penetration that is also hot. they have a way about stripping that you dont usually get. they hit the right spot. right speed, right mood. rarely achieved elsewhere. and the fact that they are yellowskinned helpes me relate better.

tomorrow is childrens day. i am looking for my innocent child within to celebrate the day with. i cannot find it. it is lost. it wont return. but im too happy to care about that delinquent. tomorrow i have a medical appointment in the morning. i hope i get good stuffs out of it. an mc to tide me through the day and a letter to aid my revocation would be nice. i am feeling good now. even though i have not done my homework. that will be discussed tomorrow. and i dont think im going to do it tonight. i am too happy to do homework.

i dont know why i am so happy. maybe its all the small things today that added up. i feel good from getting to book out early. from not having to open the keypress. from planting myself in front of the inet pc and playing all the silly games and watching korean softcore with the knowledge that everyone who matters is out at the range. and also on the way home i managed to get a seat throughout my journey. quite a feat, considering i took public transport at rush hour. and a pretty girl with hot legs displayed from under some flattering daisy dukes stood inches away in front of me throughout my trip from pioneer to jurong east. i enjoyed the view much. and she smelt nice too.

shall not ponder too much about the source of happiness. happiness is so delicate and shy. low profile too. it disappears when observed.

thank God, i'm masochistic

met the ministry and sciencespo rep. i am in for a good long struggle man. the satellite campus in menton is housed in a XIXe siecle building of the former l'hopital st julien and it overlooking la mer mediterranee. it looks like a holiday inn but it isnt going to be aholiday over there, unlike elsewhere in the us where it is difficult to enter but easy to cruise through.

the french system does not suffer from grade inflation. most students score 10/20 on their equivalent of the gpa, and getting a 12 is already really awesome. i hope i dont die too hard when im there. i cant survive without grade inflation man. without grade inflation i wont even clinch a schship and i will be studying in sim or something.

the boarding looks quite poor too. it says that the female house has toilets on every floor, and it is mentioned as if it is a really big deal. i hope the no-mention on the mens side does not mean that the toilet is 3 streets away so that i should just bring an entrenching tool so that i can dig a hole in the sand on the beach by the mediterranean. shit.

in for a penny, in for a pound.

wanchai

i treasure friendships. and i like meeting up with friends like mr wang. adds color to my crappy greeny crap life. physio tomorrow. and i havent done my french homework. i am feeling a little bad about it. but it is ok. i am off on wednesday. and the intspec is going to be back finally. i am happy!

mad

tomorrow is probably going to be my 2nd last in processing day. i am feeling very crappy. just sent one batch of reservists off yesterday and tomorrow another batch comes. i just hope that the week will pass quickly and painlessly, and i get to go meet up with the sciences po reps.

i want to ord. i need to ord soon if not i will just go crazy. i am mad with anticipation and yearning. i really cannot wait much longer. help me. i dont want to go awol. i dont want to do anything stupid. i have done close to 1 year and 10 months of time. 2 more months to go!

3 more weeks to wisdom teeth extraction!

5 more weeks to off/leave clearing!

i need to go study. have been lazy.

les faux amis

the camp is full of stupid regulars. i wonder how they might get a job outside that pays equally well when they cannot even do simple spreadsheets. and i have to go back tomorrow to listen to them screw each other over. what a way to spend a saturday.

what a nuisance

next week i have physio on tuesday morning and thursday afternoon. i also have an engagement on wednesday at nlb. i also have an ma on friday. the following week i have physio on tuesday morning and thursday afternoon. i also have dental at safti on monday morning. the week following the following week i probably will have some more physio. and then a 1 week break from wisdom. and then the monday after i will have a followup. and then i will get somephysio, i hope. and then one more week to my 5 week off & leave clearing!

fml

where do people like aaron and jordy find the motivation to go to rj on an off day to run. i need to find some motivation to do my french.

i just spent the morning correcting 1 listening comprehension, completing 1 comprehension and reading through some notes. i still have an essay to write, and i already have a throbbing headache from the drilling next door.

i'm just so sick and tired

of my life. i am so sick of the army and i am so sick of french. i hate doing what i do but i feel guilty when i don't. i hate how the institute has been such a waste of life, i hate how it demeans the individual, i hate its onesizefitsall approach, i hate the absence of reason, i hate the pervasive stupidity. it suffocates. at the same time i hate how french can be such a beautiful language but it has so many synonyms and so many different appendages. i hate how there are so many prefixes and suffixes that are so affected by not just the gender or number of subjects but also by the placement of the object. i hate how the table is female and the computer is male. and i hate how there are 8 basic commonly used tenses to screw my life up. and i hate the 3 different sets of rules for conjugation for which there is more than 100 common exceptions. i hate how it is natural to many but it is as natural to me as bestiality. i hate the way my french teacher dumbs down my essay. i hate his air of superiority about how ideas should be argued. he is a french teacher, not a rhetoric teacher. but it is not about him, but about me, myself. i hate how i have been a masochist a temporal masochist. i hate myself for trying to fit in when i clearly dont, for trying to find reason where it does not exist, and for choosing everything that everyone else can be expected to choose whether or not i actually like what i am doing. i hate how i keep hoping that life will be better, and i hate how i get disappointed because i take any achievement of pleasure or satisfaction not as a peak but as a pedestal to build on to achieve greater heights. i hate how i actually keep thinking of climbing higher, when i am actually just stuck at the same spot. i hate it.

i just want to throw all that i hate away, but i cannot. i am on mc today but i cannot help thinking a little about what is going on in camp without me. i actually feel guilty that i am not there to be with the rest of the guys, even though my presence will not make much of a difference to the outcome. and like now, when i am not studying my french, i feel guilty. it is this paranoia that eats away at my mind when i am resting, that this time when i am not conventionally productive will result in a great loss on my part or on the part of people i care about. i dont want to look back in regret and maybe even anger when i receive bad ratings. i am obsessed aboutgs. i dont know why. but i cant change my obsession. i am afraid to make mistakes, i am afraid of failure. yet i am also often unwilling to sacrifice and to feel pain. i am guilty of often praying hoping and wishing. i get lucky sometimes, but mostly i mess up.

i am really so sick and tired of all this. so sick and tired of the way i lead my life. so sick and tired of my life. i am not even 20 yet. i really really am screwed.

two roots

whence the euphoria from obtaining the medical leave has completely evaporated

there is only the residual guilt. have i changed?

i LOVE MAs!

now i know how steroids actually feel like inside of me.

steroid injections for the win.

and 2 days mc

everyone needs some mooncakes

its already mid-autumn. today is the 15th but interestingly i saw small kids wandering around the neighborhood with lanterns yesterday night. i remember doing that too, when i was their age, but when i was their age there were plenty more groups. maybe 10 years ago we did not have facebook or habbo hotel so we cannot walk about with a virtual lantern on some virtual landscape. or it might be a simpler reason that the children in this neighborhood have mostly grown up. most people have been staying around here since 1996, and most families that moved in in 1996 were middleaged couple with primary school or kindergarten kids. and those dwarfs have now become teenagers or young adults already. it is in such reminiscence when one feels very very small and insignificant, that one has grown older, has moved closer to death. one is just a speck in the eternal mind, with little true knowledge of the first spring ages ago or the last winter that will happen ages later. i feel a loss, really.

i like mid autumn because i like mooncakes. i have a sweet tooth. but also a discerning palate, and of late i have realized that it is not just hawkerfare that is getting crap, mooncakes are getting crap too. instead of improving the taste and texture the mooncake houses experiment with new flavors that disgust from their names alone. some can be quite nice, but they become quite inconsistent too. those knock offs, like tungloks taste bad, but cost almost the same. anyway what matters more is the cost of the mooncakes and the packaging, because most of the time the orderers of the mooncakes give them out as gifts and in a chinese society relationships have a monetary equivalence. and effort equivalence. like those shitty champagne truffles from raffles. they used to be good. they arent anymore. but the bankers still fly them business class to indonesia. they pay for the excess baggage too. some also go to wingwah in hongkong to get them. even though they are reallly reallly oilly. but i still like mooncakes, as long as they dont have too many yolks in them.

when i was younger i used to like lanterns and candles too. i still like them a litt,e but now that im alone and im old it is not easy to find an opportunity appropriate to play with such stuffs anymore. and anyway lanterns are a waste of money. they have become really expensive, even those crepe ones. they used to be simple and cylinders and cost 50c when i was 10, but now they cost $1.50 with some random paper cutting and outofplace copies of barbie dolls or retarded purple ponies. and those rubber balloon kind with a lightbulb dont impress me, and candles contribute to global warming and can be a fire hazard.

today i take a break and go for my medical appointment. i would rather spend midautumn at home than in a fake prata house in murai. i hope it will be winter soon, because spring will follow in the proper order and the rest of my life will begin!

firefighting

"shit hitting the fence" is probably the phrase i have heard the most in camp. my co likes it, and by extension his bootlickers like it. and anything with favored scatological references, like those making references to the genitalia or sexual acts with parents, will be very popular and definitely well propagated in this uncultured and virtually uncivilised society. in the first place, "shit hitting the fence" is a completely unlikely hyperbole. and both "shit" and "fence" can be substituted by almost anything to produce the same effect, as long as "fence" is replaced by a container or enclosure. lets say "rainwater overflowing from shellscrape", or better,"Semen spilling out of a condom". how apt. how soldierlike. when inspired by ong bak 3, one can also use "menstrual blood soaking through skirt".

of late there is a new imagery that has become popular. maybe it is civildefence envy. but the imagery has much to do with firefighters and red firetrucks and the like. instead of "solving/settling the problem", or "troubleshooting", favored by the IT unsavvy who try to act savvy,it has now become "fighting fire". the actor is the firefighter, the problem (basically his work) is the destructive maelstrom and the solution is the fire extinguisher. or the firehose. or the firetruck. whatever.

i appreciate this imagery a lot more than the puerile shit one. at least it wasnt intended to be funny because of a scatological reference. but it still gets on my nerves when it is overused. and my colleague likes to use it a lot. and he thinks that he is oh so incredibly important to the camp because he is the one doing the firefighting.

i was feeling irate because i was running late for physio, so i told him and everyone present that once in a while big fires can be good. when whatever we have built up now burns to rubble then we can rebuild from scratch without baggage. and that we should not be afraid that our possessions get burnt as long as we keep ourselves alive. just like the athenians who retreated onto an island to draw the persians to a waterfight. they defeated the persians but not before the persians burnt most of athens down. but had athens not burnt down the parthenon and the acropolis might not have been built.

and someone decided to pass this along to the co.

le bigot-monstre

j'ai besoin de me retrouver. je n'aime pas ni ce que je fais, ni ce que je ferai. je suis tres decu.

i am the wind

and i will be brave, so that life will be beautiful.

tough weeks dont last, but tough men do.

i am tough.

martians are invading my world

i have been looking forward to the weekend the whole past week, not for what there is to do, but for what there isnt to do. i woke up late today and had dimsum for breakfast. and i read the newspaper. and then i walked around imm and then i let my pet terrapin out for a walk, and then i fell asleep until now. i still have not done my french homework. if i had done my french homework already it would have been a perfect weekend.

in my b2 class there is this particular student called lalita who seems really old. she wears gold-framed reading glasses with a pink-beaded spectacle band and the glasses distort her eyes a lot. usually she wears curtains to class. she layers them to make them look more like clothes. she writes quite slowly and seems to be hard of hearing in both french and english, and she talks too much. she must be an ardent believer of the non-existence of stupid questions and irrelevant comments. and she must belong to a group of people that believe in improving themselves in obscure domains just for the sake of being good in that said obscure domain which seems to have little practical application.

i am a proponent of lifelong learning, but not of lifelong coursetaking. it might be myopic and naive of me to place an economic value on classes such as this, but i still feel that the capital outlay is not small and requires a good return for justification. and it is hard to see how learning language for its own sake is really enjoyable, especially an anal language as french. taichi or yoga can be justified by contributing in some way to increased longevity and probably also quality of life in old age. but for french the benefit seems far less apparent. maybe watching 'la vie en rose' in french improves her silver years muchly. maybe a french penpal.

i always feel that grannies like her should be staying home on friday nights spending quality time busying themselves over an aromatic pot of good curry reminicising the good old days when they still had the energy to dance around coconut trees. maybe she doesnt have her own family. she always talks about her nephews and nieces but never before about her sons or daughters. maybe she feels incomplete. maybe french class completes her.

friday and what it brings still separate me from the weekend

i still have not dont my french essay which should be turned in tomorrow, and i dont feel any strong urge to start doing it. i am usuallys shagged out after camp. the fact that i am tuned to relax mode whem i am at home makes it much worse. my mind remains lucid even during the most dreary french lessons but once i am home it turns to mush from just from recognizing work.

i am often guilty of thinking too much about things, of thinking about how things can get worse. that makes life difficult because i second guess people and i think of how to defend against embarrassment or loss a little too much. i was once or twice bitten, but instead of just being shy i have become paranoid. like shihuangdi i build walls around me to prevent unpleasant intrusion, but these walls oftentimes also prevent beneficial redox (Xchange and Xcel, how dumb, sec3obs) reactions.

i should try not to read too much into things or people because sometimes people can be altruistic. and quite often now no matter the amount of thought the unpleasant outcome is usually unavoidable. i just have to suck all the shit up until i ord.

the resistance

i am excused outfield so i wont i wont i wont go out. make me and i will report sick. make me and i will forward a complaint to the afc. some regulars seem to be plain dumb. of course people who are ex outfield can go outfield, just like exrmj people can sometimes actually do all of the above, just as anyone else can take the lift to the top of an apartment block, urinate on some slippers carelessly dumped about on the corridors, masturbate in the dogs presence and do some cover art on walls and doors before freefalling from the service ledge.

on a more mature level, most normal people hold sacred their own right to life, but would definitely sacrifice their lives for that of their loved ones.

medicine is not so advanced and it is partly the reason that statuses are so broadly defined. apart from the inability to detect exactly the symptoms and ailments, some injuries have no alleviation and it simply makes more sense for the state to compromise on contributions of the conscript than pay out the conscript some considerable sum. and after all i am a conscript, i am not a regular, i am a citizen-soldier, a citizen first, a soldier second. my contribution as a soldier cannot at anypoint undermine or diminish my ability to contribute otherwise as a citizen and should not compromise irreparably my welfare.

and this is a point i will not move away from.

filming@sherwood

1. tanglin is really huge and awesome. the map room, reading room, waiting areas and official entrance are all so beautifully appointed. the carpets were awesome, so were the sofas, the marbling traces and the pictures and memorabilia.

2. i look so different with makeup. makeup really makes so much difference. concealed all my acne and scars for the shoot. so i really really looked very very different.

3. i speak too quickly.

4. as long as the economy doesnt go bad my starting pay can even cross 5k. woohoo. but i must do well enough so i dont get screwed up grades at sciences po. so i can get my master sponsorship.

5. i hope i get featured and dont look like a cock so that i will have to bury my head in a hole next schship tea session.

l'aigle

je suis tres decu que je n'etudias pas le francais aujourd'hui.

? where can i find the determination to mug?

i received an email from the ccal07 egroup about some rafflesyouthwing thingy. haha. it would be nice. to meet up again. i think i havent left school behind yet. just like i havent taken to being a soldier yet. even after 21 months of service.

beautiful day

i love much how fbts and hot legs complement each other so well.
ahm was a real parade of chiobus. maybe sporty girls tend to be chio-er, and maybe a higher level of activity promotes a healthier puberty for girls. or only those who needed attention from boys would go for the run organized mainly by nsfs mainly for nsfs, who all, necessarily, by law, double up as life support for penises. pity the weather was blisteringly hot, and the gang decided to adjourn to killeney kopi at marinasquare for some breakfast. if not i would have gotten myself high on hot legs. and the silhouettes of well appointed sportsbras supporting those perky lumps with great growth potential.

how lewd.

moving on.

aaron was a proud finisher of the AHM. and he gots himself a medal which i expect will be dedicated to a certain tracker, or isit extracker?. yeah. that medal must mean a lot because aaron crashed through barriers of pain while crossing the benjamin sheares bridge and being still on ex RMJ for 6 weeks.

i wasted a whole morning hunting for suitable shirts, because there were none. nothing to fit my weird frame to a T and nothing that can fit my pathetic wallet. and my mom had actually bought for my brother a shirt which he did not bring along to australia that actually fits me and the theme. it isnt very nice, but its fine by me since im not spending any of my hard earned ns allowance on it.

should think up what i should say tomorrow. especially in response to why i picked sgfs over ies. or over any other schship. the apparent answer isnt politically correct. and i dont want to look like a complete clown tomorrow.

padang

i am doing 0km tomorrow, so i dont know why i am actually going to turn up in a loser singlet. but i think tomorrow i will go shopping for my casual shirt lol. i am taking this whole thing quite seriously. maybe i am taking everything extra-army very very seriously to break the whole monotony thingy.

ya, and i hope that like last year there will be some zealous fbt girls running about that i can perv at tomorrow. yes.

i did my french homework. again. so proud of myself. but i still have my letter undone. sigh. procrastinated too hard yesterday. gg liao.

Forecast of Events

Sep 16 -physio @ mmi
Sep 22 -MA @ mtE
Oct 01 -MA @ NUH
Oct 04 -Dental @ safti
Oct 18 to Oct 22 -Wisdom tooh extraction @ KTPH + MC
Oct 25 -Follow Up @ KTPH
Nov 08 -Claim Birthday Off
Nov 09 to Nov 12 -Clear Off
Nov 15 to Dec 03 -Clear Leave (STUDY)

~ 03*Physio (min)
~ 01*MA (min)
~ HIV FFI
~ ORD Dental FFI
~ ORD FFI

Dec 10 ORD

selamat hari raya aidilfitri

i feel so inclusive. yay.

what a way to end such a slack week. bowling on monday, physio on wednesday and pool on tuesday and thursday. i hope only that my life continues to be so slack.

sunday got ahm :S

going back to the ministry on monday for filming. hope it would be great fun!

what nostalgia

i feel of my 11 week break, as i sit here in front of the computer on a weekday. it feels great, that i am on morning off today because there isnt much to do in camp and i have physio at noon so my nice boss decided to let me not go back this morning. but of course if he wanted me to clear an off its fine by me also, i am in my last stretch already and i cant really be bothered much about camp and about accumulating a huge lump of offs. i just wont touch my leave just yet, so i can unleash them 14 days in november when it is time for me to mug hard for my french exam.

since returning to camp i havent been doing much commander-level work, to use a lame term i first heard spoken by my counterpart, an overenthusiastic, over responsible and underchilled ex regular who is biding his time to his november ord. i have been more or less not taking any initiative, have been doing only whats been required when required. have been too preoccupied with sending friends off, meeting up with people, and of late to some extent, my french. but i cant help it. i also cant help my resolve to not go outfield, to not book in early et cetera. i think i fit somewhere between mr negative and mr suckthumb, in that i try not to suck thumb when i dont have to, but i suckthumb so that i dont get into trouble, which for the past few weeks have been muchly possible, save one or two retarded occasions, like saturday when the boss decided to have a pow wow and wasted my precious weekend afternoon discussing irrelevant nonsense. deo volente, this lucky streak will continue for the next 3 months. yes, it is to be 3 months to my ord, exactly, in 2 days time. i feel my ord coming already.

i still think of the days leading up to my enlistment, the anguish i had felt, knowing that my life was going to be changed forever. on the outside i was stoic, and a part of me tried to be positive that the 2 years of my prime aint going to be completely squandered away. of course whatever positive feelings i had got quickly eroded away by the great torrents of stupidity that got rained on me from tekong to plc to nee soon to jurong to sembawang and then jurong again. i lost faith in the system, it being run with a cadre of disagreeable characters in a disagreeable way. i hate it.

i remember those happier times before enlistment. they werent perfect and there were time i worried and i was sad and i was foaming hard at the mouth. but those were, in general, as a whole, better times, that i have come to miss, that i have come to treasure. really, i have to agree with the lyrics of jankis favorite song, big yellow taxi, that 'dont it always seem to go, that you dont know what youve got till its gone'.

physio.

homework

i've fallen in love with french homework

i find it hard to believe, but it is true.

it is a true escape from work,

and it feels like im enriching myself.

true there are moments when i feel like an idiot

because i dont understand anything

but when that happens, in camp i look left and look right

outside i just look at the receipts of spent tax monies

and i again feel strength to continue.

if only i had felt this good,

this satisfied,

with homework in jc.

or secondary school.

eitherways,

maybe i wont be in this rut now.

thank god for mess activities like bowling

to relieve my angst and boredom that have been building up very quickly since i returned from my mc.

another ict tomorrow. tough life.

orh orh

i just took a 2 h nap at the expense of my french homework.

how typically me.

napping is an indulgence i have rarely indulged in since NS started, because excess sleep is a waste of time that was super precious when i used to stay in and i only had like 48h per week out of the shitty camps. not forgetting that napping on sunday is going to be real disastrous cos getting to sleep in camp on the first night back is usually quite tough for me.

now i enjoy napping because it doesnt matter to me that i sleep late and be tired, i really dont care about camp work anymore. the bosses generally are unappreciative and they dont even bother to mask it.

and so i wont mask my complete disdain.

pencils sharpened on both ends

yesterday i was typically bored and i wondered about the world around me. not the world at large, but my immediate, physical surroundings. which happens to be the office now, since i am with ops int and i am excused outfield so i try to spend time seasoning the plush office chairs instead of their counterparts in the mess. so in the office there is a whole row of metal cupboards, a third of which belonging to ops int, so i had to find out what was inside some of them.

i proceeded to open the keypress to draw out the keys. well, this is iti, so only 2 or 3 of the 50 keyhooks in the keypress are in use, because the cupboard keys, abloy keys and internal doorkeys were mostly collected on a single keyring. we call it the master bunch (0f) key(s), because with this bunch half the doors in 2 different blocks in and 20% of all camp cupboards can be opened. bearing in mind that this is iti, the keys are all not labled.

so i spend almost 1 hour trying out keys and opening cupboards. there were many cupboards and many keys. it was annoying, but i had to kill time. the spirit of adventure and discovery was strong in me, and i staunchly believed that i was going to find something good among the stacks of papers bearing testament of lousy english lessons, random stationery, parts of cannibalized field chairs and sbo parts.

i did. i found a mechanical pencil sharpener. that was made in japan. how cool is that. i was quite amused by it, by how it was so damned heavy, by how it contained 4 batteries to power 2 tamiya-like engines. i postulate, hopefully quite accurately, that one engine allows the screwblade to rotate around it own axis while the other engine drives a chain that allows the screwblade to rotate around the pencil shaft which itself also rotates. and it comes with a safety mechanism that kills the power when the shaving collection bin is removed. and a manual that was completely in japanese with no illustration.

the sharpener automatically sharpened anything pushed through its vulva, for the lack of a better name. and it did so with a satisfyingly loud whirr that attracted the attention of mes chers collegues pretending to do work in the labyrinth of cubicles. it didnt sharpen very well, but within seconds every other bored guy seemed to have with him a pencil, or two or three of them, that needed sharpening. so i let them all sharpen their pencils. and i realized that the resultant shavings are quite pretty.

the sharpener, for want of a better expression, became 'my precious' and i decided that i had shared my precious enough, so i retired with it someplace else to sharpen a pencil. the sharpener made a lot of noise but didnt sharpen very well, so i had to think of what i can do to achieve the best result.

i tried to engage it at different angles, but with varying success. in the process i made an important discovery that sharpening pencils at both ends was the domain of the demented bored dude or dudette, not the nerd with a transformer pencil case with purpose built eraser compartment that springs out, or humji-kia whose pencil lead will definitely break during model-drawing. do not spit on this discovery. it seems blatantly obvious but only because it has been discovered. its just like gravity. it took more than 100 000 years post-monkeydays before a specimen of humankind discovered it. it is good to be bored sometimes, so that one can try out new things and make great discoveries that might one day make the world a better place for the entire human race.

anyway i discovered that the best result was achieved by providing a good strong downward force that continuously fed the pencil to the depths of the hole. to prevent the graphite shavings from sticking on the wood, the sharpener should be shaked before the pencil is gently removed. the lack of force will result in a blunt pencil head. excess force on the other hand creates the made-in-china toy helicopter problem. helicopters often have a little propeller on its rear tip to keep the copter in the right direction, but the chinese helicopter would have a hind propeller tht is stronger than needed so the helicopter spins round and round. similarly the sharpener spins around itself and soon enough half the pencil has been shaved away.

which isnt a bad thing, really. because the pencil shavings look quite cool. it is quite amusing to look at the shavings getting spewed out. as the bin gets congested some of it feeds back into the screwblade and gets spewed out in a really funny way. i know its not just funny to me because some people who gathered around to watch the sharpener were mesmerized by the rhythmic spewing of the shavings. at some point i had taken out a box of fresh pencils and when i took a toilet break necessary to prevent stones from forming, the other dudes managed to lay their hands on my precious and created, within about half an hour, pencilettes from the pencils. and of course, lots and lots of shavings which got dumped down the shirt of some poor guy who was not involved in the original fun.

everything stopped when it was time to bookout. i locked the sharpener away for the day.

there is a fine line between curiousity and lunacy and between fun and idiocy. over here where i am squatting to my ord, this line is really, really fine.

ioies 1000

there is rarely a day that can be perfect. thats why i do not often seek perfection.

i keep worrying that my life will fall apart.

i'm disappointed.