everyone needs some mooncakes

its already mid-autumn. today is the 15th but interestingly i saw small kids wandering around the neighborhood with lanterns yesterday night. i remember doing that too, when i was their age, but when i was their age there were plenty more groups. maybe 10 years ago we did not have facebook or habbo hotel so we cannot walk about with a virtual lantern on some virtual landscape. or it might be a simpler reason that the children in this neighborhood have mostly grown up. most people have been staying around here since 1996, and most families that moved in in 1996 were middleaged couple with primary school or kindergarten kids. and those dwarfs have now become teenagers or young adults already. it is in such reminiscence when one feels very very small and insignificant, that one has grown older, has moved closer to death. one is just a speck in the eternal mind, with little true knowledge of the first spring ages ago or the last winter that will happen ages later. i feel a loss, really.

i like mid autumn because i like mooncakes. i have a sweet tooth. but also a discerning palate, and of late i have realized that it is not just hawkerfare that is getting crap, mooncakes are getting crap too. instead of improving the taste and texture the mooncake houses experiment with new flavors that disgust from their names alone. some can be quite nice, but they become quite inconsistent too. those knock offs, like tungloks taste bad, but cost almost the same. anyway what matters more is the cost of the mooncakes and the packaging, because most of the time the orderers of the mooncakes give them out as gifts and in a chinese society relationships have a monetary equivalence. and effort equivalence. like those shitty champagne truffles from raffles. they used to be good. they arent anymore. but the bankers still fly them business class to indonesia. they pay for the excess baggage too. some also go to wingwah in hongkong to get them. even though they are reallly reallly oilly. but i still like mooncakes, as long as they dont have too many yolks in them.

when i was younger i used to like lanterns and candles too. i still like them a litt,e but now that im alone and im old it is not easy to find an opportunity appropriate to play with such stuffs anymore. and anyway lanterns are a waste of money. they have become really expensive, even those crepe ones. they used to be simple and cylinders and cost 50c when i was 10, but now they cost $1.50 with some random paper cutting and outofplace copies of barbie dolls or retarded purple ponies. and those rubber balloon kind with a lightbulb dont impress me, and candles contribute to global warming and can be a fire hazard.

today i take a break and go for my medical appointment. i would rather spend midautumn at home than in a fake prata house in murai. i hope it will be winter soon, because spring will follow in the proper order and the rest of my life will begin!