what nostalgia

i feel of my 11 week break, as i sit here in front of the computer on a weekday. it feels great, that i am on morning off today because there isnt much to do in camp and i have physio at noon so my nice boss decided to let me not go back this morning. but of course if he wanted me to clear an off its fine by me also, i am in my last stretch already and i cant really be bothered much about camp and about accumulating a huge lump of offs. i just wont touch my leave just yet, so i can unleash them 14 days in november when it is time for me to mug hard for my french exam.

since returning to camp i havent been doing much commander-level work, to use a lame term i first heard spoken by my counterpart, an overenthusiastic, over responsible and underchilled ex regular who is biding his time to his november ord. i have been more or less not taking any initiative, have been doing only whats been required when required. have been too preoccupied with sending friends off, meeting up with people, and of late to some extent, my french. but i cant help it. i also cant help my resolve to not go outfield, to not book in early et cetera. i think i fit somewhere between mr negative and mr suckthumb, in that i try not to suck thumb when i dont have to, but i suckthumb so that i dont get into trouble, which for the past few weeks have been muchly possible, save one or two retarded occasions, like saturday when the boss decided to have a pow wow and wasted my precious weekend afternoon discussing irrelevant nonsense. deo volente, this lucky streak will continue for the next 3 months. yes, it is to be 3 months to my ord, exactly, in 2 days time. i feel my ord coming already.

i still think of the days leading up to my enlistment, the anguish i had felt, knowing that my life was going to be changed forever. on the outside i was stoic, and a part of me tried to be positive that the 2 years of my prime aint going to be completely squandered away. of course whatever positive feelings i had got quickly eroded away by the great torrents of stupidity that got rained on me from tekong to plc to nee soon to jurong to sembawang and then jurong again. i lost faith in the system, it being run with a cadre of disagreeable characters in a disagreeable way. i hate it.

i remember those happier times before enlistment. they werent perfect and there were time i worried and i was sad and i was foaming hard at the mouth. but those were, in general, as a whole, better times, that i have come to miss, that i have come to treasure. really, i have to agree with the lyrics of jankis favorite song, big yellow taxi, that 'dont it always seem to go, that you dont know what youve got till its gone'.

physio.