i am not feeling well again. stomachache, i dont know why. maybe i swallowed too much mouthwash. maybe i ate the stale donut. i hope my wound is healing well. i am afraid of pain. the past few months i have experienced much pain, physical pain. in end february i extracted the right wisdom, in june i removed the torn meniscus, and on monday i extracted the left wisdom. of course now my skin is peeling, thanks to isotretinoin. and i have become so sensitive to sunlight i feel like im a bat. luckily there is the haze so the sunlight isnt so strong. but i am still sunburnt at the joints, i dont know why.
i played with my red eared slider. it has been around since midway through my 77 day hospitalization leave. it looks lethargic nowadays, even when i try to exercise it whenever i am free. usually about 4 hours spread throughout the week. i know my maid feeds it, but i dont know whether she exercises it often. it no longer likes to roam around the grasspatch that is my garden. it just dashes for the hedges and gets stuck. and i have to dig it out. i dont like digging reptiles. they are slimy. but i have no choice. i put it back inside its little tray and had it some wave-pool fun. nice spa for turtle.
the turtle does not have to look for food. it gets fed well. although of course the food is shit. some feed i bought from a pet and petfood trading shop in the village near my place. brown or green sticks that look like shit if soaked in the water for too long. sometimes the turtle gets vegetables too. but the turtle does not like vegetables, so when i am feeling nice or when i am feeling mean i will harass it with the vege stalks and force it to chew up some fibers so it wouldnt die.
i think the turtle is just staying alive. it is not really happy. it is bored. it doesnt get to hunt. apparently sliders are good hunters in the wild. but in captivity they usually only hunt stunned shrimp. but i think i dont want it to have any bloodlust and bite me when i go too close, so i have not fed it any meat. of course the feed contains meat, but it is quite processed so no thought of meat even gets conjured up. just like chicken nuggets. i never associate chickens with the nuggets so i dont feel cruel when i eat the nuggets.
the turtle tries to climb out of its little tray very often. it needs to see the world beyond. it is adventurous. it is just like me in this respect, and also another. it is weak. it cant get over the low wall. it tries as hard as it can at least a third of the day, but it gets all extended before it drops back into the tank. unlike me, it is determined. i wont be surprised that one day it gets to run off to freedom.
of course we cant tell if freedom is going to be good for it. getting out of the tank means it has increased its chances of finding a mate exponentially. which is a good thing. i still dont know whether the slider is male or female or androgynous, but i know that it has instincts and needs. when it is not trying to scale the tray it is humping itself. but it is going to be risky to let it out into the big bad world that is my neighborhood. if it is lucky it would get crushed immediately by a caterpillar truck. its contents would be splattered across the road and its soul would ascend to the heavens, if it didnt deserve to get reborn as a lizard or something. if it is unlucky some neighbors big dog is going to come along and bite its limbs off one by one. if it is unluckier it would stupidly get stuck in another hedge and get dehydrated if nothing finds it. and that is going to be a slow and painful process. i think when my maid found the turtle it was already wrinkly and too feeble to cling onto the hedge as it can now, after we rehabilitated it. probably it got stuck there for a day or two. it was dying, and we saved it. but i am not sure if it is a good thing.
i am not sure if it was kind or foolish to help it live.
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